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Reviews For Sons of Reproach
Author's Response: I try to keep it interesting with twists on the canon. Because, of course, with the change in perspective comes a slight or sometimes even drastic change in the course of events -- or at least in how the characters look at them.
Author's Response: Thank you for saying so. It's always nice to hear back from readers who are enjoying the story. ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you. Hopefully the rest of the story is to your liking, too. ^_^
Author's Response: Rita is a pretty interesting character who I think might have actually been a little under-utilized in the canon series. I always thought her uncanny knack for finding out things she wasn't supposed to know might come in handy as a plot device, particularly with the conveyance of somewhat sensitive information.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you. I'm glad you think so, and I'm working at keeping it that way. I think it works better with the earlier timeframe, so neither of them are quite so set in their dislike just yet.
Thanks for posting! Author's Response: Thanks! I'm trying to keep their mind-sets close to their canon ones and sort of bring them along so that they slowly began to look at things differently. I think it's considerably easier with a younger Harry who is less set in the idea that Severus Snape abhors him completely and unconditionally. And of course it's less of a leap for Severus, too, who hasn't had quite so long to pick out a thousand and one things about Harry that even slightly resemble James.
i loved, loved, loved the scene where harry is looking for his wand, and then Snape just marches off as if going to war! Fantastic! It's really cute how concerned Harry is that Snape not go off and get himself into trouble. i love how Snape just sent Harry back with the portkey. Very nice description there. Your writing has improved so much from chapter 1! Great chapter! Author's Response: Yes, he'll notice it, but then he second-guesses himself since the whole situation is still new to him, too. They're both starting to get a little protective of the other, even though they're not quite admitting it even to themselves yet. And thanks so much for saying my writing is improving -- that's really the best compliment any writer can ever get.
your Harry seems very much the 12 year old boy. Good job! I really, really like how Snape might have seen himself in Harry. It was interesting to read Harry's description of Spinner's End. One typo: "Is this where you live?" Harry asked curiously as he looked up at a two-story brick building, the last no the street. On? you know what? I just got this, I don't know if you intended it, but if you did, wow: "There weren't any cobwebs or even much dust in the room, however; it was as if spiders avoided the place." Is that because Snape Avada Kedavra'd them when he was young? "She might have been trapped in a cage all summer, but she had still been there, and for a long time he had thought that she might be his only friend." Aww, so sad. Poor Harry. :( Great chapter! I liked the nightmare scene at the end, how Snape was disoriented at first because no one else had slept in his house for years... how Harry had a worse nightmare because he dreamt that he had gone BACK to the Dursley's. Good job! Author's Response: Thank you for saying that -- I do try to put myself in the characters' shoes as much as possible and see things from their point of view. Definitely an interesting experience when looking back at the first and second years after knowing what happens later. Ah, evil typos. They're out to get me, I swear it. Actually, yes. I was thinking of how, in Severus's memories, he was shooting down flies as a teenager... I don't think it's such a big jump to kind of picture him terrorizing the local arachnids for building a web that he might have walked into or something similar. :P Thanks again -- your reviews are always well-balanced between what you like and what I can fix, which is both encouraging and constructive. :)
I loved the tug-of-war scene between Snape and Sybil! LOL! I love Harry's reflections and thoughts, especially this: "He knew that Uncle Vernon must know he was gone by now, and he didn't want to think about what his uncle would do when he realized that locking Harry up in a room with barred windows didn't help to keep him inside." I wonder too. What would he do? Buy a metal cage? Best stay away, Harry. I love how Snape asked Harry when he last ate. So direct. It was funny how when Snape got a meal for Harry, Harry didn't know what it meant at first. XD I guess if I were him, I might expect Snape to sit down and start eating in front of him. I fixed this paragraph for you: "Probably both, Harry thought wryly, putting down a half-eaten piece of bacon..." it was all in italics, I just made the first thought italics and made the rest normal. I like the small descriptions you put in, like how Snape's clock is half hidden by a jar of murlap tentacles. :) I love, love, love the way Snape found out about Harry, with the Legilimency. I also loved how Harry was ease dropping, but still he'd rather stay with Snape even though he knows how Snape found out, and he knows that Snape isn't the nicest. Fantastic end to the chapter! Your writing is much improved in this chapter. :) Author's Response: Always good to hear a list of things that are good, too, even if constructive criticism is incredibly helpful. :D Thanks a ton, I'm glad you think they're in-character and that the reasoning follows as it should so far. It can be interesting, trying to put myself in twelve-year-old Harry's shoes to see what he would think of situations -- but always fun. ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you! And yes, the next button is always a reader's friend. :D Then you get sad, though, when you run out of next buttons and the story's not finished yet... But it shall continue, I promise! |
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