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Reviews For Boy's Adventure
I wonder how long the tiny snake has been watching out for Harry - and it makes me both glad that Harry has someone watching out for him, and sad that it's a little snake and not a person!! I love your Harry 'voice' - you have a great knack of writing how little boys think/speak, and it makes the story so much more real!! Kudios!! Scarlett
I loved this part: "It’s not as easy as it is in the film to make myself cry. I have to think about a lot of sad things, like cats dying and Dudley in a bathing suit and my mum and dad never being able to eat strawberry ice cream. Even then I only get one or two tears, so this time I make myself think about Privet Drive." You're a tremendous writer; I can't wait until the next chapter!
I also enjoy the subtle way you've included some things in the background that Harry isn't aware of, but the reader is: for instance, that Aunt Petunia worries about Harry (where Harry thinks that she just doesn't like to see Vernon mad.) I also liked the idea that the teacher keeps pressing Harry to tell her that something's wrong. A lot of people wonder about how no one ever figured out that the Dursleys were harming Harry; but if Harry refuses to say anything, how can anyone help him? Anyone who's ever dealt with abused children before knows how delicate a situation it really is: if you accuse the adult of abuse and it doesn't stick, the abuse often escalates. I do wonder if you'll continue to show the teacher making an effort, though; for instance, dropping by the Dursleys? It's hard to believe that Harry NEVER had a teacher, in at least six years of formal education, who cared enough to figure out what was going on. Come to think of it, (forgive my rambling) but it's always struck me as strange that the Dursleys, who are terrified of anything out of the ordinary, would allow themselves to treat Harry so. Won't people notice? Won't they wonder what's WRONG with the Dursleys? When it comes to something so obvious as the fact that Harry was bitten by a dog, I think it's strange and amazing that Petunia wouldn't scoop him up and tend to it right away; because a suppurating wound isn't exactly something that the neighbors would ignore. Food for thought. ;) -K Author's Response: Oh, wow, I dunno how I missed this one! Definitely, a feast for thought, really. ;)
I'm really loving how you have Harry talk about the everyday things, but you make them so real that they seem extraordinary!! Poor Harry is breaking my heart, how he takes being hit or ignored or starved in his stride like it's nothing, because to him it is nothing out of the ordinary!! I have to wonder what Petunia is setting Harry up for, with the new clothes and the food and the attention - I just hope it doesn't make things worse for Harry in the end!! Definitely looking forward to more - I do hope that when Severus shows up he won't be a complete arse to poor Harry!! Scarlett
Author's Response: It's so cool when authors you really like review your stuff, you've no idea! Thanks loads!
i mean it's a good story so far Author's Response: Chapter six Severus makes his entrance.
Author's Response: Ah, thanks. He's just turned nine. |
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