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Reviews For Love Everlasting
Some constructive criticism: You wrote: "Yes actually." Hermione had a thoughtfull look. "I also noticed that he seemed concerned when you mentioned your mom." You missed a comma, had a mispelling and used an Americanism. The missed comma is likely just a typo as is the mispelling but you might want to visit the Harry Potter Lexicon website and look at the section on British slang and colloquialisms. I would have written the sentence like so: "Yes, actually," Hermione reflected with a thoughtful look. "I also noticed that he seemed concerned when you mentioned your Mum." "Mum" is the British version whilst "Mom" is the American version. The only other typo I noticed was "barring" instead of "bearing" in your final paragraph. I'd have connected the second sentence to the first one with a comma or semicolon rather than leave the sentence fragment but it didn't really jar me out of the story. Despite English teachers sentence fragments can be used in certain circumstances. It's more a matter of taste in this instance. Keep up the good work! Author's Response: Thank you! As I said in the begining, I greatly appreciate any constructive criticism. So thank you very much for your input. But I have to say again; spelling and grammer are not my best strengths. So there will most likely, if not definatley, be more errors in the future. I appologize for that. I have never heard of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon website'. Sorry if I somehow missed it. And I will appologize now for any more Americanism. I'll work on that. Thank you very much again, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
I loved how supportive Ron and Hermione are, and the interaction between Harry and Severus in the Owlery. Author's Response: Thank you! I was afraid people would think that chapter was boring.
Author's Response: Thank you! You'll have to wait and see.
But very interesting premise. Author's Response: Thank you. Like I said in the begining, spelling and grammer are not my strengths. Sorry about any and all errors in the past, present and future. And unfortunately, there will be.
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! You'll just have to wait and see. I'm hoping to update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you think it wasn't boring. Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you think it wasn't boring.
~lesleY Author's Response: Thank you!
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
Author's Response: Thank you! |
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