Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For Love Everlasting
Title: Chapter two 02 Mar 2011 3:49 pm
Reviewer: Morgana (Signed) [Report This]
    Interesting developments, liked the internal monologues
Title: Chapter two 04 Aug 2008 6:59 pm
Reviewer: dancingkatz (Signed) [Report This]
    I liked this chapter as much as I liked hte first one. Don't worry about a chapter being short or long or the fact that there's not a big climax or tons of action. Stories need quieter sections where things develop as much as they need the BIG stuff. I just wanted to give Harry ahug when I read his letter to his Mum.

    Some constructive criticism:

    You wrote: "Yes actually." Hermione had a thoughtfull look. "I also noticed that he seemed concerned when you mentioned your mom."

    You missed a comma, had a mispelling and used an Americanism. The missed comma is likely just a typo as is the mispelling but you might want to visit the Harry Potter Lexicon website and look at the section on British slang and colloquialisms. I would have written the sentence like so:

    "Yes, actually," Hermione reflected with a thoughtful look. "I also noticed that he seemed concerned when you mentioned your Mum."

    "Mum" is the British version whilst "Mom" is the American version.

    The only other typo I noticed was "barring" instead of "bearing" in your final paragraph. I'd have connected the second sentence to the first one with a comma or semicolon rather than leave the sentence fragment but it didn't really jar me out of the story. Despite English teachers sentence fragments can be used in certain circumstances. It's more a matter of taste in this instance.

    Keep up the good work!

    Author's Response: Thank you! As I said in the begining, I greatly appreciate any constructive criticism. So thank you very much for your input. But I have to say again; spelling and grammer are not my best strengths. So there will most likely, if not definatley, be more errors in the future. I appologize for that. I have never heard of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon website'. Sorry if I somehow missed it. And I will appologize now for any more Americanism. I'll work on that. Thank you very much again, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
Title: Chapter two 06 Jul 2008 3:55 am
Reviewer: Kristeh (Signed) [Report This]
    It wasn't boring at all! I enjoyed reading Severus' thoughts, his concern for Lily, and the nagging sensation that there's more to Harry than he's let himself see before.

    I loved how supportive Ron and Hermione are, and the interaction between Harry and Severus in the Owlery.

    Author's Response: Thank you! I was afraid people would think that chapter was boring.
Title: Chapter two 01 Jul 2008 12:23 am
Reviewer: Snapegirl (Signed) [Report This]
    I wonder when Severus will find out what's really wrong with Lily? Hopefully, it's nothing really bad, and poor Harry will be left an orphan. Great job!

    Author's Response:

    Thank you! You'll have to wait and see.

Title: Chapter two 30 Jun 2008 10:47 pm
Reviewer: Deco (Anonymous) [Report This]
    'barring'...I think you mean 'bearing'

    But very interesting premise.

    Author's Response: Thank you. Like I said in the begining, spelling and grammer are not my strengths. Sorry about any and all errors in the past, present and future. And unfortunately, there will be.
Title: Chapter two 30 Jun 2008 9:49 pm
Reviewer: boycrazy30008 (Signed) [Report This]
    i am sad, i don't want lily to die

    Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! You'll just have to wait and see. I'm hoping to update soon!
Title: Chapter two 30 Jun 2008 6:30 pm
Reviewer: graynavarre (Signed) [Report This]
    Not boring at all. I love stories that build up slowly and built characters.

    Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you think it wasn't boring.

    Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you think it wasn't boring.
Title: Chapter two 30 Jun 2008 3:27 pm
Reviewer: wrappedinharry (Signed) [Report This]
    Still interested.

    ~lesleY

    Author's Response: Thank you!
Title: Chapter two 30 Jun 2008 2:09 pm
Reviewer: MirzeSnape (Anonymous) [Report This]
    keep updating, it a really goo story. thanks

    Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
Title: Chapter two 30 Jun 2008 1:13 pm
Reviewer: Lady Rosewolf (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Really enjoying the development of this story, pls keep posting.

    Author's Response: Thank you!

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