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Reviews For The Punishment Should Fit the Crime
I believe that JKR created onions out of her characters (many layers), and their motivations can be interpreted in many ways. You've played upon the more manipulative side of Dumbledore. He's a little over the top, in my opinion, but he WAS manipulative in canon, even if it wasn't his intention. Even though I do believe that Dumbledore cared for Harry, the poor boy was let down by most of the adults in his life. The one part of this chapter that bothered me a bit was when Minerva signed the guardianship papers without much emotion. She seemed very apathetic to what was happening, and I always considered her to be a bit protective of Harry. That said, Harry is going to feel very betrayed (if he doesn't already). There's no way he can't. Children don't always understand adults' reasoning of things, even if it's for their own good. But I still think that Harry's feeling should be awfully hurt. But like I said, it'll be interesting to see how he reacts to Snape's attempt to punish him again. A spelling mistake I found: 'Apperated' should be 'Apparated'. Other than that, your story is well-written and concise; I like Snape's stern demeanor and Harry's challenging attitude. The scene where he stormed off to complain to Dumbledore, only pausing long enough to let Snape transfigure his PJs into clothes was one of my favorites. You've incorporated some 'fight' into Harry's character, and I appreciate that. Keep writing. Author's Response:
One of the challenges of writing this kind of fic, I think, is balancing character reactions and narrative pace and flow. It's tricky, too, because Snape recognizes that Harry is 'off' emotionally, but doesn't know how to handle it. It also seems like Harry could go the opposite way with too much CP-- the whole "I may as well do X because I'll get spanked pretty much regardless" mentality. Especially because Harry is relatively old to be punished this way--all sorts of potential problems could arise. I agree with your comments about Minerva to a degree, but it seems like she gets a little blinded to the boy behind "Harry Potter". When she rewarded Harry for disobeying Madam Hooch, for example-- I don't doubt she cared about Harry, but that sends a very mixed message. She also seems like a strong Dumbledore partisan, which to me would make her easy for him to persuade her. This is essentially the extent of her direct involvement for the forseeable future, though she may came up later. Thank you for your reviews, I find them most helpful.
Harry had better start acting with a little more politeness. Severus may find out that other punishments beside spankings work well. If Harry insists on acting like a 4 year old - treat him like. Can you imagine Harry standing in a corner with his nose to the wall for about 30 minutes - that would be sheer torture for a 13 year old. Pain will be forgotten but humilation - never.
However, I find your Dumbledore and McGonagall OOC in their actions. Even if you think Dumbledore was consciously manipulating Harry to be the wizarding world's savior, he still appeared to Harry as a caring figure during the first 3 years of Hogwarts. He seemed to be fine with Harry breaking rules (playing Quidditch as a first year, the cloak -- what did Dumbledore expect an 11 year old to do with an invisibility cloak?!), etc., so it seems hard to believe that all of a sudden he decided that Harry needed to learn to obey. McGonagall too was fairly lenient with Harry. Both of them knew that Severus Snape was not fair nor kind in his dealings with Harry, yet they had no qualms about putting Harry under Snape's guardianship (and in his power.) I would think that Harry would feel doubly betrayed by them. He's certainly not expecting Snape to be a kind or caring guardian. He did not experience love or caring from the Dursleys. I'm disturbed at your Dumbledore who is not wise enough to know that giving Harry over to Snape is not the best way to teach a boy to love and trust the adults in his life so that he can go on to become the Wizarding World's Savior. And I can agree that Harry did some wrong things with the shack incident, but shouldn't Lupin be punished too? He was there. How about Hermione and Ron? Harry didn't make them go with him. In fact, Ron was rather forcibly dragged to the shack by the dog -- was Harry just supposed to leave him to his fate? I also found Snape's trickery in regards to the Dursleys disturbing. Although the Dursleys were certainly unpleasant people and emotionally abusive to Harry, I can't help feeling that the wizarding world never treated them well. First they were forced to take Harry in -- the magic nephew of an unloved sister -- and received no financial assistance even though canon says that the Potters had plenty of money, then Hagrid cursed Dudley with a pig tail, the twins gave him a huge tongue, and then finally Severus Snape gives them leprechun gold. Doesn't give me a good picture of wizards!! Finally, Snape seems rather "off" himself. He seems gleeful at the opportunity to punish Harry, realizes that something is deeply wrong for Harry, but still appears to think that physical punishment and threats and fear will solve Harry's problems. It will be interesting to read on and see if you can believably create a good relationship between Harry and Severus. I'm waiting to see also if Harry will ever think kindly of Dumbledore and his head of house again. Author's Response: Thank you for your criticism. I very much believe that Dumbledore was delibrately manipulating Harry, and don't see this as contrary to the front he was putting on. It's easier to manipulate someone when you've made them believe you care about them, especially when that person is an unloved orphan desperate for adult guidance. Of course Harry loved him--he let Harry do all sorts of dangerous things ( like you mentioned) because, again, it served DD's purposes to have Harry admire him uncritically, and actually doing what was best for Harry as a person would have eroded Harry's like of DD. Children truly don't know what's best for themselves nine times out of ten: they'd rather eat ice cream than vegetables, but which one is better for them? I have no expectation that DD believes that this is nessacerily the best thing for Harry. DD is machiavellian in the extreme; it suits him to have Snape assume this burden for his own reasons. He knows Snape well enough to know that the boy won't be maimed, and that's enough for him. This isn't cannon, after all: in this AU, Dumbledore could decide to hedge his bets by giving Harry a hand in not getting himself killed. Snape didn't punish any of the others from the SS because Lupin is an adult, and because I believe that he would blame Harry as the ringleader of any mischief on the part of the Trio, whether or not that's strictly fair. The characters are human, and part of being human is doing things for unworthy reasons (Snape initally punishes Harry not for the act itself, but because he wants to assuage his guilt over Lily; he takes Harry in part because Harry's reactions to certain things reminded him of himself). Also, charcters might have wrong ideas, or be unreliable-part of the fun of reading is figuring out the story *beneath* the story. Snape is not nice. He's honorable, he's loyal, he ultimately dies in cannon to serve the greater good--but he is not nice. I have softened Snape somewhat, as do nearly all of us, but Snape is a fairly hard nut to crack. He was a Death Eater, after all, which means he almost certainly particpated in some really horrific stuff. I doubt hoodwinking a few Muggles (who were, after all, attmepting to sell a child) would cause him many sleepless nights. Of course he thinks he can threaten Harry into behaving. We mimic what we learn as children. If Harry's challenge is to learn to trust and be loved, Snape's is to learn how to inspire trust and give love. Thank you again, MbE
The Leprechaun gold was a nice touch - I wonder if Wizards trick Muggles with that gold all the time. Probably another job for Ministry. And I really liked the transfer of guardianship done magically - that was neat to see rather than just a bunch of papers being signed. And Snape's thoughts about sulking wasting on him were hilarious. I can't wait to see where you take this story because it rocks. Perry Author's Response: I didn't mean to embarass you :) Harry can be hard to portray-- he's feisty and stubborn, but that can translate into way too bratty pretty easily. Especially because he was so recently punished-- it's hard to judge how stroppy he would be after going through that,especially for the first time and with Snape. I'm seeing the gold as a rarity, because, if nothing else, I doubt wizards want magical stuff floating freely among the Muggles. It also seems like most average wizards are nice enough sorts, and that was a nasty trick (grin)... Thank you for reviewing. |
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