| Title: Waltz of Treachery
| 24 Jul 2008 6:50 am
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| Reviewer: Raven Knight (Anonymous)
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There are several spelling and grammatical errors in your writing, but they can be mostly and easily overlooked. Just wanted to throw that out there. It is an interesting way that you are choosing to approach the whole Snape-adopts-Harry plotline here, particularly with the addition of an Unbreakable Vow. (I'm assuming that's what kind of vow it is, considering it is under pain of death should Severus not fulfill this vow of his.) Interesting touch. And that you have decided to have not only Dumbledore but McGongall involved in this whole situation is a potentially interesting and complication-causing (maybe?) for the future chapters of this. Also, the Leprechaun Gold thing with the Dursleys was amusing.
And the Les Miserables homage was lovely. Very, very much like Valjean buying Cosette from the Thenardiers. I also am quite a fan of that show. THe interactions were very much of the greedy Thenardiers. And I knew what type of manuever was coming just from reading the title of the chapter. Well done homage to a great show.
| Title: Nightmares and Dreadful Realities
| 23 Jul 2008 3:04 am
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| Reviewer: kreacher (Signed)
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this is a great start to a fantasticly well written fic
| Title: Nightmares and Dreadful Realities
| 22 Jul 2008 6:26 am
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| Reviewer: wynnleaf (Signed)
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Good writing and a different take on this sort of story. Your Dumbledore is interesting and different from the typcial good!Dumbledore or completely uncaring!Dumbledore.
i WANT MY DANG PUMPKIN PASTIE!!!! PLEASE!!! LOVED THE CHAPTER
oh i love it so far, i dont think i have read a fan fic where sirius died at that point, its nice to have a change! poor harry supressing his grief, he's lucky he has snape to look after him now, although his rear may not agree! maybe he will learn to behave although not before some more defiance i hope!
oh i love it so far, i dont think i have read a fan fic where sirius died at that point, its nice to have a change! poor harry supressing his grief, he's lucky he has snape to look after him now, although his rear may not agree! maybe he will learn to behave although not before some more defiance i hope!
| Title: Nightmares and Dreadful Realities
| 21 Jul 2008 10:23 pm
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| Reviewer: ReginaCaeli (Anonymous)
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Oh this is getting sooo interesting!thanks for the update.
| Title: Nightmares and Dreadful Realities
| 21 Jul 2008 10:03 pm
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| Reviewer: GoLd (Signed)
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Love it! Please post ASAP!!
“I am wondering who it is you are trying to save.” For all that I do not like the way Dumbledore manipulates people for his own ends, I have to say he has a point here. I think Severus is trying to save himself and to make up for not being able to save Lily, to do domething to demonstrate his repentence, to make amends for his ill considered choices as a young man that in his mind led directly to Lily's death. Rather self centered of him in a way, isn't it? But perfectly human. Young people are self-centered in the way they respond to the events that occur around them. Guilt also has a lot to do with it. He wants to be able to go back and change things so that Lily will be saved but even with magic, it is impossible so he is assigning Lily's role to Harry, now that he is actually looking at the boy and seeing that he isn't just a clone of James Potter.
Of course, given Dumbledore's typical manipulation of people and his knowledge of the similarities between Severus' childhood and Harry's childhood, it wasn't vvery hard of him to set things up to get what he wants: Severus in a parental role for "The Boy Who Lived". After all, Severus is really the only person around truly capable of teaching Harry what he needs to know to defeat the Dark Lord and everything that Dumbledore does leads to that end. There may be some feelings of affection involved but the way you've got this written it feels as though the emptional relationship is going to be between Severus and Harry in spite of the Headmaster's machinations.
I like the level of description in both the characters reactions and the setting. I also like your subtlty in giving Severus and (your readers) the clues to what is really going on with Harry rather than dumping everything out in a "laundry-list" of too much information at once. You'd created an excellent piece of writing here.
As for whether it will be difficult to persuade the Dursleys...well, I'm sure the Potions Master will manage in his own inimitable way. Once again, bravo!
I like how you are developing Severus as a complex characterin this story. So many writer's keep him the flat, 2-dimensional "evil git of the dungeons" who behaves nastily for nastiness' sake. But you have avoided this beautifully. His reactions to Harry's behavior quietly tell the reader that there are reasons for hte way Severus has developed his public persona. And that he's seeing things about Harry's ife that he never expected to see--things that Severus has unfortunately, had personal experience with. You can see him adding everything up and not liking the answer he is coming up with.
Dumbledore had better watch out, I think.
Bravo!
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