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Reviews For Life as Dictated by a Talking Hat
Author's Response: I admit, this story is a BIT AU on the Slytherins, but then I just don't think you can categorize 11 year olds that easily into 4 groups and have the groups really look all that different. Maybe the older years, but not the first years. Whatever. Hope you read on and enjoy the rest of the story.
Author's Response: Yey!! New reader!! Hope you like!!
Author's Response: Thanks!! I hope you continue to like it as you read on!! Thanks so much for reviewing. I LOVE getting reviews from older chapters - they're really unexpected, and so really fun. :-)
Author's Response: Thanks! LOL Glad you like it! :-)
“I most certainly did not! I agreed that Minerva should mentor the boy! Not ME!” But Dumbledore insisted. “You did. The fact that you thought it would be McGonagall means nothing. Do you refuse now?” His voice held a warning, but Severus ignored it. The above paragraph reads as if a single person is speaking when actually there is two--or at least I think there is. I'm not sure. I strongly suggest you get a beta reader to help you with your dialogue. Also, a beta reader would also help you with your punctuation and grammar. Author's Response: Yes, I do that better, later. Please let me know if you find grammar mistakes - I do have a beta, but she can't catch everything.
-P.G. Author's Response: Thanks!! (Sorry I forgot to respond to this right away!)
And Harry even hates the Gryffindor colours...far too garish. Oh, well...no doubt he will hate Gryffindors too. He had no thoughts when Ron WAS sorted into Gryffindor. Author's Response: LOL sorry I forgot to respond to this. Yeah I can't imagine living in an entire room of red and yellow...I'd feel like I was at the circus or something. (Though I'd point out you were wrong about his attitude towards Lions) :-)
The only thing I noticed is that you need to go back up to the conversation between Snape and Dumbledore and paragraph the conversation, you should have a new paragraph for each speaker. Author's Response: Thanks! I'll try to do the pararaphing better in the future, and maybe fix Snape and Dumbledore when I fix other errors.
Author's Response: Oh yes. I don't think Harry'll be an easy nut to crack. Should be fun. Thanks for the review! :-)
Author's Response: Thanks alot! Is the paragraphing better now? You're one of two that mentioned it. |
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