Snape’s resolve at the end is touching. I love how he evolves throughout your amazing story.
| Title: Oops?
| 08 May 2011 7:55 pm
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| Reviewer: Meh (Anonymous)
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It's not that this story is bad. It's just that some of the expressions are so out of character. Like using 'duh' or 'screwed'. It looks funky to have them in there when you also use British stuff.
Author's Response: Don't worry - those go away later. Realize that this was the first fiction writing that I'd done since I was like 10. :0)
"Oops," indeed. LOL
I really like your Poppy. ^^
Great chapters! Harry's 'war' with Severus was just too funny, but it shows Harry's intelligence and shrewdness...qualities that could be potentially life-saving at some point in the future. I also loved how the Gryffindors joined in and were helping. It's always good to see Fred and George, and Hermione too. The beginnings of friendship?
And I loved how Severus realized the abuse and how it has made him re-think everything. Poppy is brilliant here. I loved how she reacted and has won Harry's trust. Well, maybe not trust exactly. I have a feeling that it's not easy to win Harry's trust, but she seems well on the way.
Loved how powerful Harry is and how he kept Poppy from being harmed. He really is a good kid.
And then when Severus realized that he wanted the same kind of relationship with Harry, but had done everything in his power to ensure that they got off to a bad start...well, that's wonderful too.
I'm so excited about this story!
| Title: Oops?
| 19 Nov 2009 6:18 am
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| Reviewer: Zophia (Anonymous)
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"ummm...oops?" That was brilliant! I found myself smiling broadly too, despite the fact that what Harry has had to endure is terrible. I like how you manage to mix the characters thoughts with action. Congratulations for a wisely-build and paced chapter.
Author's Response: Yey!! Glad you like!! And wonderful to hear from you!! Rhiannan
| Title: Oops?
| 08 May 2009 12:32 pm
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| Reviewer: becky (Anonymous)
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I've been enjoying your story until now. The dialogue started off a bit shaky, but cleared up. Then the last two chapters the plot has deteriorated into a 'Potter Pity Party.' Now your characterization is starting to slip. I imaging Harry to behave and speak like a child. I would also imagine Snape, Poppy, and Dumbledore to act as adults. I would expect these three educated and professional adults to behave and act as such. Do you honestly believe Poppy to use slang such as 'duh' and 'wanna' with her coworkers? Would Snape have the speech patterns of a silly teenybopper? I strongly suggest you make your characters act as their characters.
Author's Response: While I appreciate constructive criticism, this could have been said a lot more politely. The point of reviews is to be helpful and supportive of writers, and to help us to improve, not to spew vitriol.
Poppy was great!
Author's Response: Thanks :-) I hadn't expected her to have any real role in this story but it's definately shaping out that way. Harry decided he liked her and I doubt he'll back down on that anytime soon.
| Title: Oops?
| 03 Apr 2009 6:42 pm
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| Reviewer: La Mariane (Anonymous)
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Hello! I like your story but it's geeting really angsty. I feel a little humour (like in the fist 2 chapters) might go well:)
Author's Response: Aye, aye, sir! :-)
Wow, that was certainlysome display of power. I love a powerful Harry, I have to admit.
I would have liked to see Severus' conversation with Albus...all we saw was a smiling, impressed headmaster after the wrecking of the hospital wing.
it's difficult to imagine when Harry is going to look upon Severus as anything but the enemy. I can understand Severus' frustration.
Lesley~
Author's Response: No worries, I'll be going back to that convo. I just didn't manage to work it into this chapter.
This is a great story, I reallyt like the fact that Sev will have to work at being a guardian...makes a nive change
Author's Response: Thanks! Yup, the onus is definitely on Snape at this point to make the relationship work. (Not that I really feel sorry for him - he started it!)
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