I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.
Oh, this ending was adorable! I'm so glad that Harry and Severus were able to work out their differences. Thank you for this work. It was short and sweet, and filled with your talent! (~.^)
I'm conducting a summer action of reading all stories on PnS that have been completed, so I went through your story too!
The plot is interesting, although in my opinion, getting to Salazar was too easy. And what disappointed me is that you decided to skip all the events that have happened after return. I'd love to see some complicated development of Severus and Harry relationship, and you presented it kinda like "they came back and they were happily living after". But yeah, the plot is good. And the writing style is nice too. Hope you're gonna write more and longer :)
Author's Response: Thank you for such a thoughtful review. Yes, parts of the story are rushed. I wrote this for a Fic Fest here on P&S so there was a time constraint. Also I had never really meant for it to be a terribly in-depth story. I think I was writing 'Slave Child' at the time and it was my main interest; I only took a break to participate in the Fest. But yes, I did skip over some bits and it's not as in-depth as it could have been.
interesting concept but i loved it
loved this story. i knew there was another reason for Harry and Severus' little detour.
Author's Response: Thank you!
great story! Professor Trelawny-Dumbledore was good. And the character of Salazar was well thought out - a new take on how I would have seen him. :)
Very sweet story - and I liked the happy ending. I am curious why you didn't write about Harry and Severus going to talk to Godric like they said they would, but I daresay you were running short of the fest time limit? Well, anyway, I enjoyed reading through this very much and I don't think not visiting Godric detracted from the story in any way. My favourite part was definitely where Harry saw into Snape's memories and they both began to understand the other - inspired idea!
Again, I think this is a great idea for a fic and I think you write very accurately, but I can also tell that you rushed to finish this in time for the fest. I think this fic would be really great if you went back and expanded upon the visit with Slytherin and made a visit with Gryffindor as well. I mean, you said that they had both left the school and that Helga and Rowena wanted them to visit both characters, but then it didn't happen, which is kind of disappointing because there could be some great interactions there.
Another question would be 'why are Harry and Snape experiencing dreams from the other's life?' I feel like there needs to be an explanation for that also.
All in all, this is a nice piece. I'm glad that Harry and Severus found a piece of happiness in the end.
-P.G.
I like this author's work, but I do have a couple of criticisms for this story. I hope my comments are not discouraging-- I am looking forward to reading more from KristeH.
One is a minor call on historical anachronism: Salazaar wouldn't serve sandwiches-- I know this is a magical AU, so one could argue anything goes, but still. It's the details that make a historical setting real, and people in this very early time would be likely eating on trenchers. Wine would not be served in glasses, but in cups of metal or horn (well, it is possible that the glasses are from their time in Italy). It would likely taste very odd to the modern palate-- served too young and with some dregs in it. I know I'm being more than a little annoying about this, please forgive me.
I did have fun reading the story, I don't want to imply otherwise. I do think though that having the key moment in the plot happen in a dream-- well, it's sidestepping a lot. It should be a climax, but it doesn't have an impact on the reader. Then the characters just shuffle a bit and move on. It's just a short story and there was another plot to manage, I understand. Still, in a short form the key points of a story need to be the focus of the narrative. In commentary on Buffy, Joss Whedon commented that a story needs to "earn" emotional moments. If someone is going to offer up a grand gesture or powerful emotional moment, it needs to seem justified by what has come before, the characters need to build up to that ephipany.
Again, I worry that I'm alienating the writer-- I don't mean to do so. It was a fun little tale, and I don't want to seem to kick it around with my critical jack boots.
Aww that was truly a great ending! I loved how Sarah was able to manipulate their dreams and the prophecy that enabled them to go back in time and learn to get along with each other.
And I also loved the way Severus adopted Harry. They deserve to be happy with each other! This is one of my favorite stories!
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