What on earth did Dumbledore do to Snape? His behaviour reminds me very much of someone with Autism. My son is Autistic.
Sad, but very well-written story Bill, which is nothing less than what I expect from you. You have such a gift of writing.
I hope that Harry can indeed find someone to heal Snape's mind, and make him whole again. Love Dumbles, but he needs to stop pulling the puppet strings.
Excellent. The repetition of what Severus needs to feel safe really emphasised his fears; and what an unusual idea that the Muggle world may have a better answer for some ills than the (usually perceived as superior) Wizarding one.
You've done a wonderful job showing a complex illness. It's hard to see how fearful Severus is, how much a prisoner he is in his own mind.
I'm glad that Harry understands and wants to help him. Harry's words to Dumbledore were so mature and insightful and I'm glad that Dumbledore realized he was right.
Hopefully Severus can get some help in the Muggle world and can learn to enjoy the rest of his life.
| Title: Crooked Line
| 03 Jul 2010 5:12 pm
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| Reviewer: Sithtar (Anonymous)
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This is wonderful. It made me cry. I have a high functioning Autistic son and when I first learned he may be autistic (he was 3) I read everything I could find on the internet about it as well as an exellent book called "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" (the author of which now regrests that Asperger syndrome is linked with the book). Severus in this story reminds me of some of the examples of different typs of Autism I had read about (my son's form is not quite like this), the NEED to have things the same to keep the chaos at bay. I loved the story. To the point that I had to make an account to review it. It is wonderfully writen and very moving.
| Title: Crooked Line
| 03 Jul 2010 8:15 am
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| Reviewer: heartstar (Anonymous)
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Such a captivating story - and one unlike any other I've - difficult to do with the ocean of fanfics out there. I love how stricken Severus is and Harry is so very supportive. Dumbledore is very much himself - well meaning and utterly overwhelming in his eagerness to do the right thing and managing to totally devastate the very people he's trying to help. Loved it.
What a heartbreaking story, and how true that one wrong move could have destroyed any one of them. I like your version of Dumbledore. He's well-meaning but too interfering, just like in cannon.
Great job on the story.
Wow. This is very good. Definitely going to be one of the contenders on my short list for the end voting, for sure. Of course though, this quality is to be expected from you, Bil (based on all your other stories I've read). This is kinda interesting though, that both of the first two stories in the Fest have a varying dark undertone.
I very much enjoyed the detail you put into convincing the reader just how WRONG everything is. Great suspense on figuring out for sure how old Severus is! I like that the story makes you think.
| Title: Crooked Line
| 03 Jul 2010 12:20 am
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| Reviewer: mmhmm (Anonymous)
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This really brightened my mood after a long day. I love how Severus isn't so perfect, how he really has trouble. So many stories make Severus too good. Yes, he may have troubles, but the authors don't exand on them. This is a brilliant piece because it picks up on everything Severus had, lost, and now has. What I enjoy most of all is the phrasing. Each sentence is just right, not too much or too little. The tone is reminiscent of your other stories, but this is more sentimental, and I like that. While I appreciate Harry's part in the story, I just can't understand it that much. There is not much background and he seems so out of character. Normally that wouldn't annoy me as much, but we are reading through Severus' personality, and so something doesn't click. Otherwise, the best part is the removed third person voice. The writing plays more as a narrative than a picture, and I appreciate that. Good job.
-mmhmm
Wonderful story! I feel so horrible for Severus. I have a few things I need to do in order or it feels wrong, but no where near Severus' full blown OCD. I hope he receives the help he needs and learns to overcome his paranoia and need to count. I'd love to have another one shot sequel o this that jumped forward a few months or years to see if the Muggle help worked, if Severus regained his memories, and how all that affected the relationship between Harry and Severus.
I also love how Harry understands Severus' urges and that Severus isn't broken, just needs a bit of old fashioned Muggle help after the trauma he's faced.
The only tiny, tiny bit of criticism I have is at the beginning when Harry first walks in I was confused for a second as to whose POV we were in. I wrongly assumed it was Harry's POV when I first started reading and so when Harry shut the door, I had to do a bit of a double take.
Otherwise, lovely story that accurately shows what a debilitating and real condition OCD is. You even managed to write the story in present tense in a way that didn't bother me, so lots of points to you. Great job!
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