| Title: Everything's A Mess
| 20 Jul 2021 5:54 pm
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| Reviewer: Kjoyp (Signed)
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You did a lovely job. The test they gave SEV about the lamp made perfect sense.
| Title: Everything's A Mess
| 20 Feb 2011 9:43 pm
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| Reviewer: Nakago (Anonymous)
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Great Severus here. He doesn't believe any Mark's word when it's something good (well, kind of) about Harry. I think it's very like him. I don't like Snape of this kind but I think he's very canonic. He wasn't warmhearted person in books and he isn't here. I like it... although I don't like him. Is it strange?... Well... He is difficult man, isn't he?
Very interesting chapter; I really liked the interaction between the characters and thought that Professor Snape's reaction was believable. Looking forward to reading more.
However, you might want to amend some of the words; 'candy' is either 'sweets' or 'chocolate' (depending on the kind), 'chips' are 'crisps', 'soda' is generally refered to as a 'soft' or 'fizzy' drink and 'oatmeal' is 'porridge'. (It doesn't matter overmuch but it does add a feeling of authenticity to the story if the characters use British English)
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