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Reviews For Right in Front of Me (Book 1)
I am sucked into the story already! Great job. Can't wait to see what happens next. Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I can't wait to show you my troubled version of the characters. :}
Author's Response: Lol, I definitely plan on it. :) Thank you so much for reading!!
This is seriously amazingly, brilliantly written. Everyone is so WONDERFULLY in character. Severus' bewilderment at the situation is just great, and the concern over the boy he hates so much. And, of, course, any mentioned of that unrequited Lily love is just great. You really capture Harry well after Sirius' death. His actions and confusions are spot on. I particularly like how when Snape first brought him to his home, he started the hyperventilate, just because so much had happened that he hadn't been expecting and was SO outside the norm. I would have left reviews on other chapters, but they were rather on the shorter side and I didn't want to stop reading :P I hope to see an update soon! Author's Response: Ok, I just "Squuee"d so loud that my husband legitimately came around the corner like, "What?" lol. :) You made my day!! I'm SO glad you're enjoying the story!! And you're totally right, btw. My chapters are a bit short - but it's only because I'm a Work From Home mama with a hubby and two kids, lol. I'm lucky if I can sit for a solid 10 minutes of writing before having to jump up and feed someone, clean something, fix something, prevent someone from dying (my one-year-old is in a climbing stage)... UGH. So thank you for your patience with me. I try to give a lot of "bang for your buck", so-to-speak. I can't wait to share more with you!! :)
Author's Response: You have no idea, MUHAHAHA! ;) Thank you for the review!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you SO much!! I'm SO glad you liked it!! :)
Author's Response: Don;t worry, I absolutely plan on writing more!! :) Thank you for the review!
Poor, poor Harry. Of course he would have a bad reaction to the Dreamless Sleep! Poor kid can't catch a break. crazy that he accidently broke his Potions Professor's rib! Woah! Way to add to the drama and angst, and hurt comfort. I'm LOVING it. It definitely adds something new and unexpected, and creates more of a struggle in the story, a way to get Snape to rely on Harry for a bit. Fantastic chapter and developments! Poor Harry is so desperate to please. Even if Snape hadn't shown him any kindness, Harry is desperate to please. And now feeling guilty, wow, he is going out of his way to help and take care of the professor. Clever to add the homework for Harry, having Snape try to teach him strategy and thinking in war. Nice addition! I love seeing Snape and Harry taking care of each other like they do in this chapter. The ending was a fantastic way to end this chapter, having the Headmaster drop by. I am loving all of your characterizations. Such an entertaining story! Author's Response: Gaw, stop... You're makin' me blush. :) Seriously though, I'm THRILLED that you like it. I can't wait to keep going. :) Thank you for the review!
I loved the descriptions in this chapter. It was good of Snape to offer Harry a shower, Harry certainly needed it for multiple reasons. I loved how Harry figured out that his room used to be Snape's. The borrowed pajamas were great, they really amused me, but also I imagined how luxurious they would seem to Harry. You really can convey Harry's thoughts and feelings so well! I love how Snape told Harry that he was a half-blood. So in character I can practically hear him! I wish I had a little more insight as to why Harry would want to change the subject about it though. Was he embarrassed? Feeling like he committed a faux pa, a social blunder? I love, love, loved how Snape cared and the things he did for Harry, without telling him outright that he cared. For Harry even that has got to be huge. Snape's being so kind. Heheh I loved the part about Snape's kindness practically being reading Harry a bedtime story and tucking him in. LOL. I'm a little surprised that Harry didn't recognize the Dreamless Sleep potion, I would of thought that he would of had it enough times in the hospital wong.... but looking back it seemed like Harry was always up in the middle of the night in the hospital wing. I guess Madame Pomfrey did not use it regularly on the students. Probably for the best. Fantastic chapter! Author's Response: The poor kid probably never knew the joy of growing up with a favorite pair of cozy footie pajamas, so I figured he deserved something nice. :) And as for changing the subject, I think Harry felt a little embarrassed digging into Snape's muggle heritage when the man was a known Death Eater (and not the biggest fan of muggles to begin with). I'll have to go back and rewrite that in. And with the Dreamless Sleep potion, that's exactly what I thought, too. He'd been stressed out and awake more often than not when he was in the hospital wing, so I took some creative liberties and assumed he'd rarely - if ever - been given that potion. Thank you for the review!
Great job with Severus and humanizing him, all the thoughts and motives are simply fantastic - very in character and with more depth than we get to see in the books. It sounds like Harry has had a rough time of it, and has let on more than he means to about what happened - but it's good, he needs to. Maybe with vulnerability will helps him be better understood, and also open up more to Snape. It's great to see and hear Snape's thoughts and his almost constant thoughts and obsession with Lily, Harry's mother. Very much in character. And tricking Harry and then Legilimencing him - wow. Yup, very much in character. I am loving this story. Great pace, great development! Author's Response: Thank you again, my friend. I know that my versions of Snape and Harry are a TAD out of canon, but I'm trying hard to stick to the core of how I feel they came off in the books. I'm SO SO glad that you're enjoying it!! :)
I am SO, SO, SO glad that Snape saved him! Snape's rage is so validating and real. What a terrible scene for him to come upon! Fantastic descriptions, I could practically feel the emotions in this chapter. I don't blame Snape for shooting off such damaging spells, or for reacting so strongly and viciously to Harry's attack. He was a Death Eater, and it makes sense that he would get pleasure from engaging in his darker side when met with an injustice he could do something about. We all know his heart. Great background to Snape's character, not wanting a rape to happen again if he could prevent it. I loved the description of Snape's spell work being like a Muggle gun. He truly can be deadly, and fast when he chooses or needs to be. It was smart for Snape to leave the scene, and to get Tonks to come in and deal with the mess. He clearly was not in a good place to deal with it himself, and neither was Harry. It was in Harry's best interest to get him out of there. Poor Harry having his first apparition trip though! And with an empty stomach, it probably made it even worse! It was cool to see Snape use wandless magic to open and enter his house. I love, love, loved Harry's thoughts and thinking of what Ron and Hermione would say if they had been there. Awesome. Harry had such powerful, controlling emotions. I loved seeing the struggle between his panic and Snape's barely-keeping-it-together control. Harry must have felt very vulnerable without his wand. I loved all the descriptions of the surroundings of the house as well. It can be hard to write that and have it stay relevant and interesting. It was almost as if I was seeing the house for the first time, and the descriptions were very vivid. Well done! I love this side of Snape. Fantastic chapter, and fantastic story so far! This is quickly becoming a favorite! Author's Response: I seriously feel like Sally Field at the Oscars right now - "You like me, you REALLY like me!" lol. Thank you so much for giving me such a huge case of the warm fuzzies!! :) I hope the characters continue to please. |
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