Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For Undiscovered
Title: Sideways Alley 28 Jan 2018 8:23 am
Reviewer: crotia (Signed) [Report This]
    Cliffhanger!
    Torture this.
    I can't wait for the part where Snape finds out the injuries.

    Author's Response: Hahah, sorry about the cliff hanger, I couldn't help myself.
Title: Sideways Alley 27 Jan 2018 8:21 am
Reviewer: Lucinda Hindle (Signed) [Report This]
    Oh no. No no no no no. On no, you didn't. No, Severus, no. Oh no.
    I love this chapter!
    And, um....uh, I honestly skipped a few paragraphs after they reach Diagon Alley though, I am not quite interesting in that part, maybe you can offer me a summary?

    Author's Response: Hahah thanks for your review! As for Diagon Alley no problem, Severus basically put a glamour on Harry and they went to dragon alley to pick up some proper clothes for Harry. Harry ran into Draco and Lucius Malfoy and had to keep his cover, Severus saw and intervened and they went back to the manor. (in terms of plot you didn't miss too much)
Title: I Don't Think I'm gonna Like it Here 27 Jan 2018 8:00 am
Reviewer: Lucinda Hindle (Signed) [Report This]
    Hm,nice chapter, loving it so far, lets see what happens.
Title: The Circle of Idiots 27 Jan 2018 7:37 am
Reviewer: Lucinda Hindle (Signed) [Report This]
    You write greatly. Just a bit rushed during the point when Dudley spoils the car. The story idea is amazing. I think I will be a regular. Nice to know that you update regularly, and the writing style is good.
    I think you are writing Snap's character well, congratulations, a feat many fail to accomplish.
    So, I remember you saying that there might be torture somewhere later in the story.
    Please tell me it's Harry who gets tortured!!!
    Also, I think Severus isn't going to be too happy to know that Harry used so much balm for just a bruise on the cheek.

    Author's Response: Thank you so much for the feedback! I might go back and revise the car part because i think your right, I just couldn't wait to get Harry away from the Dursleys. Thank you for saying I write Snape in character, I often worry about if I'm keeping them in character and your reassurance means a lot. I don't want to give to much away but.... Yes it is Harry who gets tortured ;)
Title: Sideways Alley 26 Jan 2018 10:09 pm
Reviewer: Fmh (Signed) [Report This]
    Wow! A great chapter with both sides of Severus and Harry on show. Very well written thank you so much for your wonderful story

    Author's Response: Thank you so much for your wonderful comment! I'm so happy your enjoying and I endeavour to continue.
Title: I Don't Think I'm gonna Like it Here 26 Jan 2018 8:40 pm
Reviewer: Fmh (Signed) [Report This]
    Very good chapter but slightly concerned that Harry has yet to wash or shower! Seriously a great chapter thank you
Title: The Circle of Idiots 26 Jan 2018 8:27 pm
Reviewer: Fmh (Signed) [Report This]
    Very good start to the story. I like your portrayal of Severus a good cannon characterisation. Thank you

    Author's Response: Thank you!!! It means a lot to hear that I've managed to keep them in character, I hope I continue to do so :)
Title: Sideways Alley 25 Jan 2018 9:41 pm
Reviewer: lilyflower101 (Signed) [Report This]
    You let your prejudice anger take control of what little brain you do have and decided to use your cheap plastic lower dildo brain to think with instead.
Title: Sideways Alley 23 Jan 2018 8:20 pm
Reviewer: SevLiLyHarry (Signed) [Report This]
    Splendid ! Still love it !

    Author's Response: Thank you !
Title: The Circle of Idiots 23 Jan 2018 5:35 am
Reviewer: Scorpia (Signed) [Report This]
    I was excited by the summary, but sad to see so many typos once I started reading. The very first sentence you use 'your' instead of 'you're' and then in the very next sentence used 'too' instead of 'to'.
    If you want readers to care about what you're writing, you must first care. This means editing, reading it through for mistakes so that people don't get sidetracked by them while trying to enjoy the story.

    Vacuum doesn't need to be capitalized unless it is the beginning of the sentence. Some lines of speech begin with " .... " while others begin with '...' this isn't interchangeable, you need to pick one.

    All sentences should begin with a capital letter. I liked the idea of the story, and when there aren't errors, the text seems well written. I'm just too easily distracted by the errors that are present.

    Author's Response: Thanks for the constructive criticism, I've gone back and edited the first chapter so it's much more readable. I agree I made quite a few spelling mistakes, mostly because I was excited to publish and should've taken more time to edit. In future chapters I will try correct my spelling and grammar much more before I publish :)

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