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Reviews For Harry Potter and the Slytherin Conundrum
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Poor Draco thought it was his fault. I love that they decided NOT to tell Dumbledore. Poor Sirius and Remus though, they are going to feel so guilty when they find out the extent of Harry's condition and where and when it happened. I'm loving your Snape, Draco and Poppy. McGonagall is very in character. I think the only thing I noticed that could use some improvement is some more physical descriptions of Poppy and McGonagall, and maybe Sirius if he has improved from being at St Mungoes. I had trouble visualizing them. Everyone else especially Harry had a fantastic level of detail and was easy to visualize. I am really enjoying this story so far! The hint about the appearance charm at 6 months is inspired. I hope they keep Harry in the hospital wing until he is better, or find a way to check up on him in a way Dumbledore won't notice. I'm sure the portraits saw Snape carrying Harry to the infirmary. I bet they might inform Dumbledore. Maybe Snape has a scar-reducing potion he can offer Harry later? I loved this chapter. Thanks so much for writing and sharing! Please update when you can. :)
I really like your version of Draco. Noisy and acting, but also obsessed with Harry as much as Harry is likely obsessed with him. I like that Draco and Snape have code words for each other when they talk. I wonder who came up with them. The only thing that seemed out of place is that Draco was wearing trainers. I think he wears loafers, Oxfords, or other school shoes with his uniform. Maybe work or dress shoes. Trainers seem so Muggle-ish. But maybe they are trainers and I don't know. Fantastic chapter. Great pace. Compelling emotions. Thanks for writing and sharing this!
Great development of plot and pace. The only thing I noticed that needs clarification is one more line mentioning Harry made it to the bathroom on the train to change. It was very brief. “Have to use the loo, so I’ll just change there,” he replied as he slid the door closed behind him, not giving them a chance to question his actions. Harry kept his head down as he made his way back to their carriage... It seems like it could use an "After changing in the loo, Harry kept his head down..." Other than that it was a fantastic chapter. I wouldn't mind Draco and Harry getting together. And I like that Charlie, Sirius, and Remus are out and in relationships.
Dang Dumbledore really made some bad decisions placing Harry with the Dursleys. Harry is so self-sacrificing. |
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