With a strange potion, new location and the odd Muggle Studies Professor along for the ride, Harry's in for an interesting summer, but why is Snape here? Dumbledore had better pray he gets all three back in one piece! Humor, Angst, No Mary Sues, No Romance, no real plot.
15 Jan 2005 - Updated:
17 Jul 2016
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all other known characters and places in the Harry Potter world belong to J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Bros, and Bloomsbury. The story and original characters belong to me.
Author Summary: To protect Harry and another character from Voldemort this summer, they are sent away in hiding until the school year starts. How are they going to hide? As Muggles of course! The Professor of Muggle Studies is along for the ride to round out a family and to make sure that they fit in Muggle Society. Too bad that the things Wizards know about Muggles is slightly off. Harry is deaged to 6 years old. The Muggle Studies Professor thinks that they should spoil Harry. The other thinks that they should shove him in a recycling bin. Harry is enrolled in a year round school. How will they ever make it through the summer?
If it is ever successfully Brit picked, hopefully this piece will also humorously highlight the differences between the British and American cultures and languages. Hopefully it will also help introduce and explain British things, names and sayings to Americans (including myself) so that they will not be as clueless the next time they see them. Alas, I have probably only managed to glamourize my own lack of understanding of British culture. But I suppose that anyone 'strictly' British will not wish to read this anyway since the characters will be going to America, so I'm relativly safe. Biscuit anyone?
Update 7/17/16: I can't believe it's been SIX years since I last updated! I'm so sorry! Don't worry, the story is not abandoned. I will try to update at least once a month from now on until it is finished.
1. The Situation by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 15] (2820 words)
2. Introducing the Muggle Studies Professor by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 10] (1576 words)
Last chapter: 4 Privet Drive was attacked, Snape was discovered, and Harry agreed to be deaged and sent America along with new guardians.
3. The Third Party by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 10] (1052 words)
Last chapter: A childishly absurd lady was tricked by Dumbledore to pose as Harry's mum; She will add humor and will be an amusing foil to whoever is selected to be Harry's da.
4. The Deaging Potion by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 10] (2090 words)
Last chapter: Snape agreed to go along.
"We both know that there is a leak in the Order, I can trust no one else with Mr. Potter's safety. And while you are safely hidden away, you will be able to devote your time on those potions we discussed earlier as well. Perhaps even have time to work on some of your own personal projects. It is only imperative that we have the antidotes before the school year starts."
5. Introductions by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 7] (2092 words)
Last time: Harry's body is deaged to six years old. He still possesses the memories and many mental capacities of his fifteen year old self, but they are a bit fuzzy. The potion is very rare and special as it is the only kind that will restore one's thought processes and memories to one's proper age in moments when it is needed, like a time of danger.
6. Welcome to British Airlines by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 13] (5452 words)
Last chapter: Harry learns just who Dumbledore intends to take care of him.
Albus had already turned to Snape and handed him Harry's wand. Harry made a sound of disbelief and outrage before his mouth fell open in shock. "Why are you giving it to him?" The Potions professor seemed to think the same thing, but took it nonetheless, and slipped it up a sleeve before looking at the boy with a superior air.
7. Agent D, and the Spotting of the Dragon by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 9] (6261 words)
Last chapter: An airplane ride.
Hoppity had her headphones on and was intently watching a show about blenders. Snape was still focused intently on a book or some notes. This was going to be a long plane ride, he thought as he rubbed his eyes. He sat back in his chair and rested his eyes. He soon fell asleep to the sound of the engines, gentle murmurs, and the scratching of a quill.
8. Not Another Plane Ride by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 7] (5178 words)
So far: Harry was stuck, Dumbledore meddled, Hoppity agreed unknowingly, Snape was coerced, and now this odd family unit of three is on it's way to America to play Muggle for the summer.
Last chapter: Degaed Harry acted cute, Snape acted snarky, Hoppity bought Harry a plush dragon, and Snape poked around the Agent's mind to discover true intentions.
Yet to come: Two more chapters of settling in and shopping... thirty chapters of 'Occlumency' lessons, childhood problems, new friends, potions experiments, 'soccer' games, bullies, questions raised about Harry's last guardians and their treatment of him, Muggle snacks and toys, Doctor visits, parent/teacher conferences, a close call with bad guys, and a week back at Hogwarts during which... well you'll just have to wait and see. :)
9. Settling In by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 9] (8641 words)
Last chapter: After two plane trips they finally arrive at their destination.
What follows is a description of the house seen through Harry's eyes as he explores it.
10. The Mall Trip by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 9] (8953 words)
I hope that no one is confused with the Hoppity/Smirkett thing going on. They are the same person; it's just her first and last names. When we are in the universal POV, or when Harry's telling the story, she is called Hoppity. When Snape is narrating she is Smirkett.
British terms: A 'bobby' is a policeman; a vest is an undershirt; y fronts are briefs/underwear.
11. Trampolines are Forbidden by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 6] (9820 words)
I probably missed a lot of British terms. They are driving a SUV, which I'm just going to refer to as a car. I chatted for an hour with my British friend over what cars (cars), trucks (don't exist), vans (cars) and lorries (trucks) are and after all that I'm still going to call the SUV (a type of car that is rare and only rich people drive) a car. LOL.
A car park is a parking lot.
12. First Day of School by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 6] (7805 words)
Last chapter: Harry meets a new friend, plays on a trampoline and is caught by Snape.
subway - crosswalk
canteen - cafeteria
flannel - wash cloth
tap - faucet
clingfilm - cling wrap/Saranwrap/plastic wrap
aluminium - aluminum
13. In Which Bad Choices Are Made by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 13] (6433 words)
Last chapter: Harry's first day of school, and playing with a new friend afterward.
14. Meditation with Snape by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 8] (7447 words)
Last chapter: Harry searches for his wand in Snape's room and gets caught.
This chapter starts with two and a half pages of other characters’ POV, either read it or skip to the first set of "---". All strange instances in the dialogue are intentional.
AC is air conditioning.
15. Who Hurt Him? by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 10] (6719 words)
So far: Harry was deaged with the usual cryptic but cliché potion and tricked into spending the summer with Snape. Hoppity is the rounding-out-the-family, treat Harry like a prince, Hufflepuff character, going along with them because Harry needs to be spoiled a little and she creates an interesting dynamic (and it helps further the plot, not that there is much of one). There was an amusing airplane flight, then a boring one, shopping for Harry (Snape bought him clothes and Hoppity bought him toys), play dates, summer school kindergarten/first grade scenes, and hints of Harry being hurt. Anything else? Snape is in character. No romance will be in the story. Michael is Harry’s little neighbor friend and he likes Ninja Turtles. Harry has a stuffed dragon called Roofie and he likes to sleep under his bed.
Last chapter: Snape started meditation lessons with the 6 year old Harry (who actually kind of has his “self” inside as if he were 16, only his memories are fuzzy and his brain acts like a 6 year old’s).
16. Dinosaur Chess by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 18] (7542 words)
Last chapter: A physical went wrong when abusive bruises were found on Harry.
17. Let's Play a Game by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 11] (6781 words)
Last chapter: A thunderstorm leads to a game of chess between Snape and Harry
18. The Visit by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 24] (7283 words)
Last chapter: Harry hunts for snakes, answers some questions, and practices soccer.
19. The Splotches by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 12] (4994 words)
Last chapter: The Social Workers' visit, potion-laced tea, and Snape signed some guardianship papers.
Mozzies: small mosquitoes (may not be in England)
Midgies: the miniature mosquitoes in England.
20. Secret Accident by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 24] (6335 words)
Last chapter: Harry's bug bites are mistaken for a magical disease, a laughing potion is made, and Snape wears a clothespin on his nose. Hoppity tries to get Harry to drink more water.
21. Velveteen Rabbit (Sick Harry) by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 15] (5247 words)
Last chapter: Harry accidentally wet himself, Snape found out and cleaned it up.
22. Stealing Daisies by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 26] (5194 words)
Last chapter: Harry became sick and his guardians cared for him. Snape went shopping for Muggle medicine and TLC.
23. Snape's Trap by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 24] (4760 words)
Last chapter: Harry was still sick, then Hoppity got sick, so Snape had to take care of Harry on his own.
24. Forgotten in a Cupboard by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 50] (3966 words)
Last chapter: Harry spent the school day home with Snape, and accuses Snape of tearing up a neighbor's flowers.
25. The Buildup to... by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 35] (3112 words)
Last chapter: Harry practices junior Occlumency, has a play date with his neighbor friend Michael, and is forgotten in a cupboard.
26. The Tantrum by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 26] (2715 words)
Last chapter: Harry was rudely awakened after staying up later than usual, the 'family' visited a Muggle technology store, and Harry got permission to go to his friend's house before dinner.
27. Bubble and Squeak by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 33] (2839 words)
Last chapter: Harry skipped his usual nap, then threw a tantrum and his dinner on the floor.
Snape left for the adjoining bathroom and came back with a wet cloth. He wiped Harry's face, washing off the tears and snot from his earlier debacle.
“Go to sleep, Harry,” Snape said. “Tomorrow I expect you to be cheerful, well rested and willing to eat whatever is placed before you.”
Despite the early hour, Harry found himself doing just that, exhausted at the long day he had. He wasn't awake for when Snape stroked his head, much the same way Hoppity had earlier.
28. Neighborhood Block Party by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 24] (4845 words)
Last chapter: Harry ate vegetables for breakfast, had his first successful junior Occlumency lesson, and the "family" agreed to go to a Neighborhood block party later.
Snape gave a pleased look down at the little boy. “Yes, extra servings of vegetables is exactly what he needs, and an earlier bedtime.” He lowered his face to look more seriously pleased, “If you poke one toe out of line, I will take you home immediately. Is that a deal, Harry?”
“Deal,” Harry breathed out, suddenly feeling a little unsure with himself. He felt like he was making a deal with a rouge, but surely Harry wouldn't get into that much trouble, that easily.
29. Family Meeting by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 19] (3820 words)
Last chapter: The "family" went to a neighborhood block party, Harry was caught in a bouncy house by Snape, and was stung by a bee.
[Snape] reached in with his fingers, pulling out some white cakey mush. Then Snape started to spread it on Harry's sting, the cool creaminess making the pain disappear almost immediately. Harry felt himself sighing and relaxing in relief.
“Is that better, Harry bean?” Hoppity asked, carding her fingers through his hair.
“Yes. Much,” was Harry's response.
“Of course,” Snape said, smirking as he wiped his hand on the back of the cloth. “Now I believe that it is time for a family meeting.”
30. Harry's Story by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 21] (2231 words)
Last chapter: Some exposition as the family had a meeting, and House Rules were written.
“Yes, vegetables.” Snape did look pleased then. “Up you go, to the kitchen and I will make you a nice, steaming hot plate of vegetables. And this time they will end up in your stomach and not the floor[...] Stand up, does it hurt to walk on your foot?”
Harry tested it. There was a sharp twinge where he got stung. “A little. I don't want to walk on it.” Perhaps he could hop, or crawl to the kitchen.
“Alright,” Snape said, “Just this once.” And then he was picking Harry up, securing him in his arms to carry him to the kitchen. Harry did not expect it, but then he realized that he felt safe.
31. The Snidget by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 38] (4296 words)
Last chapter: Snape and Harry talk, and Harry writes a story at school.
At the end of the school day [...] his teacher gave him a folded piece of paper. “Make sure that you give this to your parents, okay? They have a Parent-Teacher conference tomorrow with me, and this is a reminder. [...]”
Little did he know, that Hoppity wasn't going to be the “parent” who attended the meeting...
32. The Parent-Teacher Conference by Jan_AQ [Reviews - 13] (5177 words)
Last chapter: They catch a snidget, which Harry has named Snidgen.
“...There are such powerful, protective potions that can be made, with just a bit of snidget fluff... potions that the enemy would never expect... This snidget may be a chance where there was none. It may be the difference between life and death.”
To be continued...
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