"I fear, Headmaster, that I am out of my depth, and I have no idea how to correct the situation."

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific than that, my boy."

Of course he would. Gritting his teeth, Severus continued. "It's Harry. I know that you don't have children of your own – though perhaps you have children in the hundreds, really if you think about it, though not living in your home, like this. That's not to say that Hogwart's isn't your home, or the home of the students --"

"Severus", came the gentle reminder. He was rambling, he was that far gone. Focus, man!

"I am troubled by his emotional state. I fear the damage done by the Dursleys is far deeper than we had anticipated. Harry is both far too needy and ironically, far too autonomous for a boy of his age. He is prone to emotional break downs and tempers that seem to indicate he is overwhelmed at normal, everyday, interactions with the world. And there's worse, I don't even --"

"What is it?"

"He hoards things. Strange things, like food and underclothes, as if he's afraid what he has now will be taken from him, or that it's limited. Albus," he said, meeting the old man's eyes, "when I've confronted him about his tendency to wander in the night, he takes great pain to assure me that he has not 'left his cupboard'. Left *his* cupboard! Albus, tell me that does not mean what I fear it means."

There was a long pause.

"Albus!"

"I am afraid I cannot offer you any reassurances, child. Harry's words now weigh as heavily on my mind as they do on yours. Have you asked him about it?"

"I haven't had the chance. One push in the wrong direction and I fear he forever have problems assimilating. I do not want to risk the progresses he has made by hitting on a tender spot before he is ready. We would only lose him forever."

"I would suggest a mind healer if I thought there were any we could trust not to sell their stories to the Prophet."

"Not to mention that the boy would never submit to speaking to one."

"There is that, yes. All you can do, Severus, is what you've been doing. Be there for him, be his guardian, his safe ground."

Severus rolled his eyes at the sentimentality. "Speaking of, he still calls me – that word – when he is at the end of his tether."

"You are, I presume, referring to him calling you 'Daddy'?"

"Yes." Severus was surprised he had any jaw bone left to clench, these days. "Don't you think it overly intimate for a child who has known me less than a year?"

"No, do you?"

"I – I was asking you for a reason, I don't know! I have no idea what the normal behaviours are in this situation. Why the boy would choose to entitle me such when he has such a bloody living legend for an actual father is beyond me, that I do know!"

"Ah. Your insecurities are showing, Severus."

"*My* insecurities! James Potter is probably rolling in his grave."

"I very much doubt that, but even if it were so, do you think Lily would be?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a manipulative bastard?"

"They may have done, yes."

HHSHSHSSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHS

Harry was not in his bed.

It took his mind several seconds to process this, and once it did, Severus could imagine the headlines. Golden Boy Missing, Professor Dead in Apparent Heart Attack. Of course the wizarding world would assume he'd done something to the brat, rather than the other way around, but that was to be expected. He was the evil git, after all.

Or perhaps he wasn't having a heart attack, his rational mind supplied, but rather a simple panic attack. Either way, it had become hard to breathe and he was rather convinced that his heart was going to implode either way.

Dying of a panic attack was a rather lame way to die, he decided, but there was little he could do about it.

Thankfully the rational part of his brain kicked in once again. Got to find the boy! How many precious seconds had he lost, standing here staring at the empty bed? A quick cast of spells revealed the obvious – Harry was nowhere in the room. An equally hurried glance around the room revealed no signs of a struggle. Indeed, he had heard nothing himself, and he had been mere rooms away. Somehow that made everything seem worse – clearly someone they trusted had come in and snatched the boy. Just as he was narrowing down the list of people he potentially needed to kill for touching Harry, he spotted the note.

Death Eaters leaving a note. That was certainly new.

The sad attempt at penmanship that was littered across the parchment gave the author away immediately, and Severus' rage moved in a whole new direction. Twelve. The history books would say that the Boy Who Lived in fact had lived only till the age of twelve, when he was killed by his guardian for being a foolish, presumptuous idiot.

Dear Professor Snape,

I didn't want to leave without saying anything, though I imagine that would probably be better for all of us. But I can't go without saying goodbye and thanks. You've done so much for me since last fall, and while I understand you wanting your life back, I do want to say that this last month, having a home and a bedroom and, well, a guardian, were the best gift I could ever have asked for.

I suppose we'll see each other in the fall at Hogwarts. Until then, take care, sir.

H. Potter

Severus could not resist his anger, and before his eyes even lit upon the unneeded signature he had crumpled the note in his fist and tossed it across the room. He recognized the boy was impulsive and reckless at the best of times, but he never would have predicted him to run off in the middle of the night. And what was this about 'wanting his life back'? There was a clue there, clearly, but no time to think it over; there was no telling how long Harry had been gone, and perhaps he was just a jaunt up the road.

With that hope in his pocket, Snape sent off a message to the Headmaster. He almost decided against it when thinking on the reaction Dumbledore would have upon hearing that Snape had up and lost the Boy Who Lived, Saviour of the Wizarding World, but the fact remained that he needed the help more than he needed his hide.

He was down the road in moments – the town square wasn't that far, within easy walking distance from home, much to his annoyance at the moment. He could only hope that whatever misconstrued notions Potter had about the state of his guardianship the knight bus would recognize that this was not an emergency. Who knows where Potter would end up with magical transportation at his disposal?

The fact that Harry was not within immediate eyesight as Severus left the house caused an immediate reoccurrence of the heart palpitations from earlier. While he now knew that Harry had left of his own accord, that didn't mean that any dark wizard couldn't have snatched him off the street the moment he stepped out the door. He steadied himself with a deep breath, wiped the sweat off his brow and kept walking, eyes peeled for any sign of the child.

Which is probably why he didn't hear Dumbledore arrive until he spoke.

"How long has Harry been gone?"

Severus nearly jumped out of his skin.

"You should not sneak up on someone who is currently experiencing heart problems!"

"I do apologize, however the question remains..."

"Last I checked, I did not actually watch him walk out the door!"

"I thought you had wards around the house?"

"I do! To prevent anyone getting *in* not to prevent them from leaving!"

"And the alarms for when the boy gets out of bed?"

"Set to go off in my own chambers. They are probably ringing while we speak."

"And the monitor?"

"It works in both directions. I did not have it with me as I did not want him to hear what I was saying to you."

"My, Severus, I really would have expected..."

"What?! That I would have been better prepared? That I would have protected Harry more strongly than this? That I would have anticipated his propensity to misunderstand situations and run off? What, what did you expect?"

Albus just stared at him for a moment, and simply said, "Clearly I can expect you to be harder on yourself than I ever could be. Let's not focus on recrimination, rather finding Harry. I take it from your words there was a problem with Harry, that he was not snatched?"

"No, he was not snatched. At least not yet. He left a note. I should check with the Weasleys."

"I have already checked with Arthur and Molly. They have neither seen him, nor heard from him. They will be in touch within moments if they do."

"There's nothing to be done but scour the town then."

And with that he strode forward, yelling Harry's name into the dark.

HSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHS

He'd been walking for what seemed like hours, and despite being July, he was cold. Harry had left Snape's with only what he'd come with. He couldn't take any of the clothes or things the man had bought him, it wouldn't be right. Maybe he could use them for another boy, if Snape took another in.

And he was bone tired. He'd stopped to rest a few times, only to find himself slipping into sleep. That wasn't good, at least not by the side of the road. He had tired an alley, attempted to curl up behind a large garbage bin beside one of the local pubs and had almost drifted off when the thud of a bag of garbage getting dumped woke him fully. Shortly thereafter a group of drunken men fell into the alley in an alcohol fuelled brawl, scaring Harry out of his wits.

He clearly couldn't stay there.

No, there was only one place he could stay until morning. And so he headed there, cold, tired and on the edge of tears.

HSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH

After three hours of walking the town from end to end, casting every spell they knew to locate someone, knocking on doors and simply shouting for Harry, Severus and Albus were at a loss.

"Perhaps we should reconvene to Hogwarts, contact others, get the word out.

"Yes, I suppose that would be --" Severus stiffened and turned to the Headmaster, eyes wide. "The wards on my home just went off. Someone has entered the property using the password." And without waiting to for Dumbledore's reaction, he turned on his heel and apparated without thought or consideration for any surrounding muggles. The old man could deal with that.

He ran into the house, leaving the door open behind him and headed straight for Harry's room. Nothing. It was as he had left it.

"Harry! Harry?"

"Harry are you here? Answer me when I'm calling you! Harry!"

"Severus." He jumped again for the second time that evening. Clearly his ability to detect someone sneaking up on him was not as honed as he imagined.

"WHAT?"

"I don't believe Harry is inside."

"I can SEE that Albus."

"No, hear me Severus. I don't believe Harry is *inside*"

"Would it absolutely KILL you to speak clearly, Albus? If you think he's outside, why don't you simply --"

"Severus."

Right. Outside, and then a Point Me spell which directed him to a thick swatch of bushes right against his house, beside the veranda. A swatch think enough to hide a boy, that was certain. Well, almost all of a boy. His trainer was peeking out from the edge of one. The old, dirty trainer Severus was certain he had tossed in the rubbish.

And with that confirmation Severus moved towards the bushes, landing on his knees as if he had been sliding home in a game of baseball. "Harry!" he whispered, pulling the boy to him as soon as he could lay hands on him. Which clearly was the wrong move, as Harry came awake kicking and yelling.

"No! Let go of me! Let go! HELP!"

"HARRY! It's me, it's Severus!"

"D-a- Professor?"

"Yes, you silly boy."

"I'm sorry. I'll go. I just didn't know where to go and the drunk men scared me but I can just, maybe you can apparate me to the Burrow?"

"And why in Merlin's name would I want to do that?"

"Be-because you wanted me to go. You're tired of having me in your life."

"Yes, that's what you said in your note. Why would you think that?"

The incredibly loud sound of a throat clearing interrupted them before Harry could answer.

"Harry, I am glad to see you well. Perhaps you should move this inside, Severus? Now that everyone is reunited I shall return to Hogwarts and inform the Weasleys."

"Yes, of course. Thank you for your assistance."

"The Headmaster was here? And you called the Weasleys? Why?"

Propelling Harry through the front door, Severus had to bite his tongue in an effort not to bite the boy's head off.

"Because, you ridiculous boy, I was worried. I found your note. I was not expecting it, to say the least."

"But you said..."

"Sit," he gestured to Harry's bed. "What exactly do you think you heard?"

"You called me living in your home a mess. You said it to Dumbledore I heard you."

"Yes, but you misunderstood. First Harry, you must know that I have a tendency to sarcasm. I can understand how you might misconstrue that, but you only heard part of the conversation. Harry, I was trying to explain to him that the situation was a mess not because you're here, but because I am so new at this. At being a guardian."

"Oh. So you don't want me to leave?"

"I do not, and I will not."

"Don't say that, you don't know that!"

"I do know that, as I know myself."

"But I might do something that..."

"There is nothing you could possibly do..."

"Don't SAY that! You don't know, you can't!" Of all things, Severus did not expect anger at his reassurances. Indeed, Harry's face was growing red, and his hands were becoming familiar fists.

"Calm down. Fine, you cannot hear the truth right now, well hear this. If I promise to talk to you, and tell you if I ever want to end our arrangement, would that make you feel better?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Well. I suppose that will do for now. Now I think you need to shower again and put your pyjamas back on. It's very late and we have a long day tomorrow."

"Yes sir." As Harry approached the shower he turned.

"Professor, what was the rest of the conversation about?"

"I believe that's between me and the Headmaster. Go shower, Harry. I'll be back to say good night."

HSHSHSHSHSSHSHSHSHSHS

True his promise, Severus re-entered the room a half hour later, only to find Harry sprawled across the bed asleep. Well, he had had a trying evening, it was no wonder.

Removing his glasses and settling him under the blankets, Severus sat on the side of the bed with a weary sigh and dropped his head into his hands.

"What am I doing, Lily?" he whispered. "I am trying so hard, to do right by your son, but I am nothing to what you and James would have been." Severus gave a wet chuckle. "I can almost hear you – 'Well we're *not* there, are we?' No, you're not and it's just not fair. It's not fair to me, and it's especially not fair to Harry. I'm trying to be there for him, trying to buffer the damage your sister and her damned husband inflicted." Raising his eyes to the sky as if she was there, as if Lily could actually hear him he asked, "If he couldn't have you and James, couldn't they have given him to me, instead of those bastards?"

Enough, Severus. Even if she could hear you, she'd think you were mad.

He glanced at the clock, surprised at the time. He needed to get to bed himself. But one last thing...

Leaning over, he pressed a kiss onto Harry's forehead and quietly said "Happy Birthday, child." He was glad the boy wasn't awake to witness his soppiness.

Of course Severus wasn't aware of Harry's talent for faking sleep.