Atoning The Past by Lupins Mistress

August 19, 1996

Dear Harry,

Haven't heard much from you lately, Harry, Ron says it's because you're busy doing some sort of training. I dunno, but Dumbledore hasn't said anything at any order meetings, granted mum doesn't really like us being there. Anyhow, Fred and I were wondering if you'd like to come by the shop, show you our new merchandise. You have to do your shopping anyways, for school. I'm so glad to not have to go back this year. Mom was actually threatening to make us go back, but after she saw how much money we're making I think she's convinced that it wouldn't make a difference. Ron says he's going to Diagon Alley with Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Tonks, and Lupin the day after tomorrow, so if you could come then that'd be great. Can't say much more here, but I must say I'm very curious as to what you are up to currently.

Love,

Your favorite Weasley twin, and Weasley period (George)

Harry read the letter with a small grin that he knew only one of the twins could put on his face, especially in light of everything that had happened to him in the past few days. He still couldn't understand how his magic could have just disappeared, even if he had been assured that it was only a temporary thing. Harry reached for his piece of toast and bit into it. Across from him, his father read the Daily Prophet with his usual frown.

"Anything interesting in there?" Harry asked.

Snape gave a snort. "No," He said.

Harry nodded. He hadn't expected anything, really.

"Fred and George want me to stop by their shop in two days. I do need to get my new books and I need new robes. Could we go then, my friends will be there as will Tonks and Lupin, as their protection, I assume."

Snape nodded. "Yes. Lupin informed me of this last night. I shall of course be there, but for the sake of keeping out secret I will be there on the orders of the headmaster. Your friends will just have to deal with it."

Harry laughed. He could already picture Ron's face when he saw Harry with their feared potions master. "Alright, then," He said and continued with his breakfast.

"How are your summer assignments coming along?" Snape asked a moment later as he folded his paper closed.

Harry shrugged. Truth be told he had only worked on his History of Magic essay which he hadn't exactly finished. The transfiguration had confused him, and the potions he hadn't even bothered to look at seeing as he knew that he wouldn't understand it, or be able to do it for that matter. He was terrible at potions.

"That tells me you haven't worked on any of it," Snape said. "Maybe I can offer some help."

If Harry was surprised he did not show it, but he nodded readily. Maybe Snape could make his own assignment make sense to him, as well as the transfiguration, and who knew, maybe he knew his history of magic.

"Bring it into my lab," Snape said after they had finished their breakfast. "I'll be working on quite a number of potions in there."

Harry nodded and walked back to the room Dumbledore had put in Snape's quarters for him. It was the same size as the room he had used in Snape's house. The walls were made up of blue colors as was his bedspread.

Harry walked to his trunk and opened it. He hadn't really unpacked but knew that he would have to at least to find his books for his homework. After throwing a few things on his bed he brought out his history of magic book, followed by his transfiguration, and lastly his potions text.

When he entered Snape's lab he found the potions professor gathering ingredients next to a black cauldron.

"Sit anywhere," Snape told him. "I forgot to ask," He added a second later. "Has there been any change in your magic?"

"How would I be able to tell?"

"Have you tried your wand?"

Harry shook his head, but reached into his jeans pocket where he usually kept his wand. He waved it at his book but nothing happened. He tried to light his wand, but again—nothing.

He sighed.

"It will come back to you eventually, Harry," Snape said.

Harry nodded. He was nothing without his magic. He needed it—desperately. "What are you working on," He asked instead of bringing up anything else concerning his magic.

"Pepper-up potion," Snape replied.

Harry found the entire thing odd. Snape was being nice to him and going to help him with his homework, and added to that he wasn't snapping at him while doing so.

"Have you started on any of your homework?" Snape asked, as he pulled out his knife.

"The history, but I can't really concentrate on it. I think I know what I'm writing about so it's just about getting myself to do it. What I don't really understand is Transfiguration. I don't understand the theory behind it, to even write the essay, and really I can't see how this could possibly work."

Snape didn’t say anything while he cut some sort of root. Once he was done and he had equal pieces of it, he looked at Harry. "What form of transfiguration of it, is it?"

Harry opened his book and looked for the term. It took him a few minutes but then he had it. "It's referring to changing things into their opposites as in water to fire, but the way the theory is stated is what confuses me."

"Ah," Snape said. He waved his wand at his cauldron and slowly stirred something in with a stirring rod. "Well, I won't be much help to you with transfiguration, but Professor McGonagall would be happy to help. You could ask her about it. Any trouble with anything else?"

"The potions," Harry said almost in the form of a question.

Snape let out a rare laugh. "As expected. Have you even looked at the assignment? For all you know it could just say, 'have fun'."

Harry gave him a perplexed look, but shook his head. This amused Snape further.

"Potions has never been your thing," Snape said. "Not many understand them."

Harry chose this moment to argue. "I would understand them had you taught the class better. Yelling at us and expecting us to know certain things the moment we come into class doesn't help. Neither does it help that other students sabotage other's potions."

Snape sighed, but said nothing until he had finished counting his stirring under his breath. Harry watched him. Potions were enthralling. There was a lot more than just a set rule, there were possibilities that could be explored and that had interested him from the beginning, but potions had turned into a nightmare for him, with Snape and his remarks, and Malfoy getting away with everything. He'd given up on ever appreciating the class and what he could do with potions.

"I think we're going to have to start with the basics," Snape said, wiping his hands with a white cloth. "We don't have too much time, but your mother was brilliant at potions and I am a potions master. It is unthinkable that you don't have any idea what to do with them even with the little instruction of mine that seems to have gone to your head."

Harry almost smiled.

Snape looked around the classroom. "Alright. I think it should begin with brewing a potion."

Harry was surprised at this.

"I think it will be safe enough to trust you with following simple instructions," Snape continued, and then with a wave of his wand summoned a book from across the room. He flipped to the table of contents and quickly scanned it. He flipped the pages until he was somewhere in the middle of the book and then he handed it to Harry. "Try that, then we'll talk about the summer assignment."

Harry nodded and turned to the book. He scanned the page. The potion looked simple enough. He moved to one of the nearest cauldrons and set the book down next to it, and then he walked to the open cupboard that he knew would contain all the ingredients he needed.

It was an odd thing to watch his son measure and cut ingredients for a potion. To watch him meticulously put in the most reacting ingredient and then as he observed his potion. He had never noticed that in the boy before. He'd never seen himself in his son, and now he was. In fact—Severus frowned at the revelation—Harry didn't quite look like before. They were subtle changes, small little things that one would never have seen had they not been looking. His hair was darker and less messy, of course it was still sticking out all over the place, but Severus would not doubt that it could be tamed if someone ever gave it a try. Then there were other things, like the fact that Harry had gained at least two inches in height and did not look as thin as before.

Severus continued watching him. He didn't know how to be a father. He'd never expected to be a father. It was funny, he realized, how much had changed since he had viewed those memories, but still the fear of rejection remained. Harry didn't need him, he had made that clear, and he had made it clear to him that he would not act like a father to him. They both had so much at stake.

"I'm finished," Harry said suddenly, startling him.

Severus walked towards where Harry stood, looking down at his potion. It was perfect, Severus admitted to himself. The green color was right down to the slightly blue hints of color that were supposed to sit around its corners. He gave his son a rare smile that made Harry frown and then brought out two potion flasks to bottle the potion.

"This is what I expect of only some students," Severus told him. "Granger and Malfoy are the only ones in your grade actually capable of brewing a proper potion, but now I wonder if you have more talent for this than I have given you credit for."

Harry said nothing.

Severus nodded to himself and frowned slightly before he picked up the book he had given Harry and he flipped it to the last few pages in the book.

"Brew that one," He told his son and then turned away, walking back to his pepper-up potion which he still needed to bottle.

While ladling the potion into flasks Severus watched his son gather ingredients for the potion he would be working on. He was almost startled when he heard a tapping on the door, but quickly set his potion phial down and went to open the door.

The eagle owl flew in and landed on his shoulder, extending his leg out to him. Severus untied the letter from his leg and opened it.

Dear Severus,

I fear this letter is not the kind of letter I wished to pen to you, my friend. After all these terrible events that have occurred around my family I wish to ask of you a favor. You once said you would do anything for your godson, I wish that you spoke true. I rather not write anything else within this letter lest it be read by someone other than you. I wish to have tea with you, however to discuss this matter. I am available at any time this week, owl me when it would be best to meet.

Narcissa Malfoy

Severus stared at the letter disbelievingly. He hadn't talked to Narcissa Malfoy in a number of years and yet she wanted to have tea with him, and of course ask him a favor, one that would help Draco. He didn’t really like the idea of giving his word to Narcissa that he would help Draco in whatever way he needed. He sighed. He needed to talk to the headmaster, but even Dumbledore wouldn't be much help.

He folded the letter and put it in his robes pocket. He'd have to talk to Dumbledore before writing back to her. He turned to look at Harry and saw him slowly dropping belladonna into the cauldron and stirring as he went.

"I trust you can remain here by yourself and not explode the room. I need to talk to the headmaster, I will be back shortly," Severus told Harry.

Harry nodded.

August 20, 1996

"He is my son, Severus," Narcissa said in a pain filled voice. "My only son." She wrung her hands.

Severus did not say anything to this, his expression did not change. He only sipped quietly at his tea.

Narcissa continued, "You cannot understand the love a mother has for her son. To me he is just a boy. He is far from ready to kill someone. In fact, I think he's expected to fail, a fair punishment for Lucius, wouldn't you say. The dark lord wishes to only punish Lucius, nothing more. He could care less if Draco died!"

It was strangely enough exactly what was meant by the task set on Draco. And Narcissa did have a point. The boy was much too young to take on something as that. He would never get the courage enough to kill Dumbledore.

"And what do you intend to ask me to do, Narcissa? I cannot interfere with our lord's wishes. I cannot ask Draco to be spared."

"But you could lead him. You could help him. You could do everything in your power to make sure he succeeds," Narcissa said. "If not for me, do it for Draco. He does not know what it truly means to be involved in this; at least he doesn't act like it. He would appreciate help eventually, if that is the least you can do."

"I will look after your son, Narcissa," Severus said not completely reluctant.

"Will you give me an unbreakable vow?"

Severus hadn't expected this, but as he mulled the thought over Severus noticed at once that she seemed to want something else but didn't know how to bring it up or if she even should. His curiosity got the better of him. "What else is on your mind, Narcissa?"

"I want you to protect him," She said. "I want you to tell me, to promise me that you will protect him even if it means doing his task for him."

No. He wouldn't be the one to kill Dumbledore. He would not do it. He couldn't do it. But when the other option was that Draco would kill him, that he would become a murderer.

"Promise me, Severus!" Narcissa said frantically. "Promise me that you will help him, that you will protect him. That you will complete the task if he is not able to."

Severus knew he couldn't say no. Saying no would give Narcissa some idea that he wasn't completely loyal to Voldemort. With a short nod he sighed.

"Who will do the binding?" He asked.

"I will," Bellatrix said, coming out of the shadows with a strange smirk on her face. "For a moment there, I really thought you wouldn't do it, Severus, but then killing Dumbledore isn't want you want to do, is it, Severus?"

Severus gave nothing away when he spoke. "I am only loyal to the dark lord, as you should well know, Bellatrix, now let's get on with this. I have much to do before the school year starts."

Bellatrix gave him a doubtful look. Severus knew he had to go through with it now. He clasped Narcissa's hand. Bellatrix walked forward muttering to herself.

"You still don't believe I am only loyal to our lord, Bellatrix," Severus gave her a mocking smile.

She glared at him.

"Will you, Severus, watch over my son, Draco, as he attempts to fulfill the Dark Lord's wishes?"

"I will," Severus said, feeling as if the world was crashing around him.

A thin tongue of brilliant flame issued from the wand and wound its way around their hands like a red-hot wire.

"And will you, to the best of your ability, protect him from harm?"

"I will," Severus said. He would would have done both of these things without the vow.

A second tongue of flame shot from the wand and interlinked with the fire, making a fine, flowing chain.

"And, should it prove necessary…if it seems Draco will fail…" whispered Narcissa, "will you carry out the deed that the Dark Lord has ordered Draco to perform?"

A silence fell before them. Bellatrix looked to Snape, with a strange expression. Severus took a deep breath and then rather reluctantly, eyes never leaving Bellatrix he spoke, "I will."

The last tongue of flame wound around their hands, and interlinked with the others almost snake like, and then they all disappeared.

Narcissa was crying silently. "Thank you, Severus, thank you. I knew you'd be able to help us."

Severus nodded and stood up. "I really do have to go," He said and turned to leave. Before he had, however, Narcissa had clasped both his hands.

"Thank you, Severus," She said once more.

He nodded at her and then left the room without once looking at Bellatrix.

Harry grinned to himself. He'd just finished his Transfiguration essay with small help from Professor McGonagall and now all he needed to worry about was his potions assignment, but he couldn't start it until Snape came back from where ever he had gone off to.

"How has your summer been so far, Harry?" McGonagall asked.

"Odd." Harry grinned. "Not a bad odd, just odd."

McGonagall smiled at him. "I hope at least you've had a good long break before school starts up again. Looking forward to your classes this year?"

Harry shrugged. "Not really, but then I'm not Hermione."

McGonagall gave him a knowing nod. "There is that. How is Ms. Granger?"

"Fine. I haven't really had time to talk to my friends this summer. I've been busy with other things. Learning occlumency."

"Yes, Albus did mention that. Is that coming along well?"

Harry grinned at her. "Yes. I can complete block out Snape, now."

"Professor Snape, Harry," McGonagall corrected, then, "That is good, Harry, very good. Now, if you'll excuse me, Harry, I have quite a bit to do today. I still haven't finished with some schedules."

Harry nodded. "I should go then, I don't want to get in the way."

"Oh, you weren’t, Harry, really. I just need a lot to get done. I really did enjoy talking to you and explaining everything to you." She smiled at him. "You could help me, if you want. If I get this done faster I could give myself a break later on this week. I could then maybe pick a new quidditch captain." McGonagall gave him a wink.

For lack of something better to do, and the fact that he was now sure he would be the quidditch captain, Harry grinned and nodded at his head of house and said, "What can I do?"

"I think I can trust you, Harry, to not mention any of the information you will see in here today. Because I am the deputy headmistress it is I who take care of the schedules of all the students, this is mostly so because in years past lack of communication between the head of houses has gotten schedules completely mixed up. We needed a better system. I have finished the first through fourth years which is all that I should do until now, but I need to have a list of the classes each student can't take according to how they did in their exams. That is what you can help me with, Harry.

"I need you to list every class a student can't take, starting with the sixth years, while I deal with the fifth year schedules."

Harry thought that was easy enough.

"I haven't seen my O.W.L. scores," He thought to say a moment later.

McGonagall looked up. "They were sent out with the usual Hogwarts letter."

"I didn't get that either," Harry said. He'd found it odd, and until that moment had not thought to mention it.

"Odd, but there could be a number of reasons for this," McGonagall said. "I will get you a copy of the supplies list before you leave tonight, and you could start with yourself on the list if you want to know your scores."

Harry nodded and eagerly looked for the paper with his name on it. He found it at last a few minutes later and pulled it out and then with a small sigh of worry at what he could have possibly gotten he looked at his O.W.L. results.

Ordinary Wizarding Level Results

Pass Grades

Outstanding (O)

Exceeds Expectations (E)

Acceptable (A)

Fail Grades

Poor (P)

Dreadful (D)

Troll (T)

Harry James Potter has achieved:

Astronomy: A

Care of Magical Creatures: E

Charms: E

Defense Against the Dark Arts: O

Divination: P

Herbology: E

History of Magic: D

Potions: E

Transfiguration: E

Seven O.W.L.s! It was two more than he had hoped to expect. He hadn't doubted he would get an outstanding at Defense, and neither had he expected less than an E in Care of Magical Creatures. The E in Herbology hadn't been too much of a surprise, and the Transfiguration had been a little higher than his expected Acceptable. History of Magic he had known he would fail, after all, he had fallen asleep during the exam, what else could he have expected? But the astronomy grade, passing had been a surprise, especially considering he hadn't exactly finished that exam either. Charms was exactly as he had expected. He wasn't brilliant at the class but he wasn't terrible at it, but an E in Potions?

He had studied, there was that, and he had put a lot of effort into his potion, as well as the test so the grade shouldn’t have surprised him too much. He smiled slightly. Seven O.W.L.s!

"Happy with your results, Harry?" McGonagall asked.

"Oh, yes," Harry said. "I'm surprised I managed to get an E in potions as well as an E in your class, but then I was sort of expecting the rest." Harry stopped and looked at his grades again. "But then, I'm sort of disappointed," He found himself saying. "I got an E in Potions. There goes my chosen career."

McGonagall gave him a disapproving stare. "I'm sure if you talk to him. You've spent the summer with him after all, he might be willing to let you into his class."

Harry had no doubt about that, but he also knew that Snape wouldn't want anyone knowing that he had let the boy-who-lived into his class with his O.W.L. as a meager E.

"Professor?" Harry asked a moment later. "Could you not mention it to anyone that I got an E in potions, if he does let me into his class this year I doubt he would want anyone to think he has gone soft and allowed me into his class with only an E. Of course if he does allow me he will tell everyone that Dumbledore bullied him into it."

McGonagall laughed. "Ah, Harry, you have gotten some small understanding of the man that is Severus Snape."

Harry grinned and he turned back to writing down what classes he wanted to take that year that he was currently allowed to. "These are the classes I want, Professor," He said.

"That would be fine, Harry, you will tell me if you will be taking potions this year or not as soon as you get an answer won't you, Harry?"

Harry nodded, "Of course." And then he turned back to his work, starting with Hannah Abbot.

"You did what!" Draco said with exasperation as he glared at his mother. He couldn't believe her. She had gone and asked his professor, the man that in his mind was somewhat at fault for his father going to Azkaban, to help him. "How will Snape help me?" He asked.

His mother sighed. "He gave me an unbreakable vow, Draco. He will die if he does not help you or at the very least protects you. He is bound to me by the vow. He will help you even if it means for him to complete the task that you are meant to do."

Draco's eyes widened. He just couldn’t believe her. He didn't want to kill Dumbledore, he didn't want Snape to kill Dumbledore for that matter, in fact he liked the headmaster, as much as he claimed otherwise, and now the man was going to die, just because of his mother.

"A good lot that does to help me, mother," He said. "I can handle things on my own, you don't have to get involved in every little thing."

His mother said nothing to this, but instead shook her head and turned to leave the room. Draco stopped her. As much as he heated how involved his mother would get in his life, she was his mother. "I know you mean well," He said. "But I know what I am doing."

"You're sixteen, Draco. You don't understand the world as I do. A mother will always protect her son, at whatever cost," with that said she was gone.

Draco buried his head in his arms. It was stupid, he knew, to think that maybe he could get away with leaving Snape to do all the work now that his mother had done this. But he didn't want to become a murderer, he didn't want to kill the wizard that could mean his freedom. He sighed. There was no one that could help him. His father who had tried to leave Voldemort, or so it had appeared to him that day, was in Azkaban. Snape didn't seem like the person that would be remotely helpful to him, even though now that he was in that bind maybe he could become useful. And then there was Potter.

Potter was the answer. He knew the boy-who-lived would have to be his way into the order, or if nothing else his way out of Voldemort's claws. He just needed to somehow get on the good side of the raven haired, emerald eyed hero. He could already feel the beginning of the terrible year before him.