Life as Dictated by a Talking Hat by RhiannanT

“Come in, Severus,” Severus heard the headmaster call. He scowled. The Headmaster was really far too proud of his magical peep-hole. Yes, you adapted a muggle tool to wizarding use. We're proud of you.

Nevertheless, he entered the office without hesitation, and sat down.

“My boy, what is troubling you?”

Severus' scowl deepened. Dumbledore was one of the very few people that could read his face when he didn't wish it. And sometimes it was damned inconvenient.

“I take it that it somehow escaped your notice that Harry ended up underneath my desk this afternoon?” Severus asked snarkily.

“No, in fact, it did not,” the headmaster answered simply.

Damn. Severus felt himself flush.

“I take it that Harry's behavior bothered you?” the headmaster asked.

Severus gave the headmaster an incredulous look. “I take it that it did not bother you?”

“Not remotely. In fact I was quite pleased.”

“You were pleased.” Severus repeated blankly.

“Quite.”

Severus felt his anger rising. “You. Were pleased. That Harry became so frightened at the thought of speaking with you that he ran to hide under a desk.”

“No,” the headmaster answered, “I was pleased that Harry became extremely frightened at the thought of speaking with me, and so ran to hide under your desk.”

Severus frowned. He hadn't thought of that.

“You see?” the headmaster said cheerfully.

“I'm sure he did not intend it.”

“Even better,” answered the headmaster. “He instinctively ran to you.”

“Coincidence,” Severus retorted. “He ran to the first hiding place he could find and stayed there.”

“The first hiding place he could find, Severus? Are you certain?”

“Quite. Harry trusts me not to hit him, now. He might not even hate me as much as he did. He's hardly going to come to me for help.”

“Ah. Well that clears that up then. I do apologize. I'm curious, though. If Harry simply ran to the first hiding place he could find, it seems a bit strange that he would run straight past the stairs to the Gryffindor tower in order to instead enter the dungeons, and then straight past the entrance to his own dormitory in order to enter your office. Perhaps you could explain that, as well? In my old age I find myself unable to find a reasonable explanation.”

Severus knew he didn't have an answer to that, and so decided not to try. “I had not realized,” he admitted instead.

The headmaster smiled broadly, eyes twinkling. “So. Am I allowed to be pleased with that?”

Severus felt his lip twitch upward the slightest bit. “Perhaps.”

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Harry flipped over once and then sat up, disgusted. Fuck this. It was two o'clock in the morning, and he was no closer to sleep than he'd been at ten. This wasn't going to work. Usually the curtains were enough to give the illusion that the room was small so he could sleep, but apparently not tonight. Quickly donning a pair of socks, he padded carefully out of the dorm and headed out. Remembering the alarms on the dorm door, he hurried to get away before Snape got there. He realized briefly that he was probably waking the man up, but refused to feel guilty about it. The man wouldn't be woken up, after all, if he'd not set up the alarm, or if he ignored it when it rang. It was his fault if he was going to try and chase him down when all he wanted to do was sleep. At that thought, he took on Draco's appearance as he ran down the corridors.

He shed it again when he reached his destination, and ran back and forth asking the Room of Requirement for someplace comfortable to sleep. Opening the half-sized door, he found a tiny room with a sloping ceiling and a twin bed wedged into it. It was perfect: exactly like his cupboard, except clean and with a slightly more comfortable bed. Finally able to relax, he bedded down.

He hadn't yet fallen asleep, though, when a soft pop alerted him to Kallie's presence in the room.

“Kallie?”

“Master Harry, sir, Kallie is having to tell Master Harry, sir-”

The elf seemed nervous, and Harry sat up. “What's up, Kallie?”

“Master is saying that Kallie can be telling people things when she wants to...”

Harry started getting nervous. “Yes, I did. So?”

Kallie started twisting her shirt. “So Master Snape is worrying about Master Harry sir. He is not knowing where Master Harry is, sir. And Kallie is not thinking Master should be sleeping in cupboard sir.”

Harry looked at her, mouth falling open. “You- you told Snape, Kallie?”

The elf nodded, clearly unhappy. “Kallie is sorry Master is not being happy with her, sir, but Master Snape is asking that Master come out and talk to him, sir.”

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Severus waited patiently for Harry to emerge, contemplating how he was going to react. He'd been searching the school for Harry, knowing that he was likely to be the one out of bed, when he'd been approached by the house-elf. He'd been careful not to pressure her, not wanting to interfere in Harry's relationship with the little elf, but the elf had evidently wanted to tell him. In no time at all she'd led him to the Room of Requirement, and left him outside to await Harry's emergence. All he had to do was come up with a plan for what to do with the boy once he emerged. What in Merlin's name did the boy think he was doing, leaving the dorm to sleep in the Room of Requirement, of all places?

Finally the door creaked open and Harry emerged, creeping out around the half-sized door, sleepy but clearly convinced that he was in trouble. Perceptive of him. What does it take to get this child to be where he's supposed to be, when he's supposed to be there?

“Leave the door open,” Severus commanded abruptly, seeing Harry about to close the door. Harry bit his lip, but obeyed, stepping back and out of the way.

Severus swung the door open to look inside, allowing himself a slight gasp at what he saw.

“See, I wasn't gonna do anything,” Harry said defensively. “I just wanted to sleep.”

It wasn't the bed that had caught Severus' attention, however. The room was tiny, with no room for anything other than the bed. The boy wouldn't even be able to sit up fully on the bed without knocking into the shelves of cleaning equipment that hung above it. A tiny nook under the sloping roof at the end of the bed held a bucket and a scrub-brush.

“You were going to sleep in here?” Severus asked, unable to stop himself.

Harry looked up at him, then down, cheeks reddening. “I-it's comfortable,” he finally said. “It's got – privacy. And it's not too big.”

“It is a cupboard, Harry,” Severus answered.

“Yeah?” Harry asked, meeting his eyes angrily. “Well what's wrong with that?”

Severus just shook his head. I'm too tired for this. It was clear enough that the boy didn't want to sleep in the dorm, for whatever reason. That was good enough. “Come.”

Walking away, Severus didn't immediately notice that Harry wasn't following. When he did, he looked back to see Harry looking back and forth between Severus and his...cupboard.

“Come, Harry. I want to sleep as much as you do.”

And finally the boy followed him.

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Harry followed Snape uncertainly, not understanding why the man wasn't yelling at him yet, or where they were going, but not confident enough to ask. As often as Harry tended to break it, curfew was a major school rule. Previous times, he'd either not gotten caught, or his other transgressions had been bad enough to cover the smaller offense of cutting curfew. But the man didn't even seem angry, just tired and resigned.

Eventually he recognized that they were back in the dungeons, and headed for Snape's quarters, but that didn't really ease his confusion. When they got there, the man opened the door and motioned Harry inside, then pointed him to the sofa. Still confused, and a little concerned that the man wasn't actually talking, Harry watched as the man opened a door off to one side and started summoning various objects out of the small space there: a couple of neatly labeled boxes, a somewhat hideous muggle-style portrait, and a muggle-style toolbox, among other things. Once he was finished with that, the man summoned a house-elf and gave it some rather peculiar instructions.

“I need this room expanded to twelve feet by ten feet, and furnished as a bedroom, with a window, as quickly as you can manage, please.”

“Absolutely, sir,” the house-elf answered, giving no indication that it found the orders strange it all, despite the late hour. “Did you need anything else, sir?”

“No, thank you.”

Harry watched, wide eyed, as the elves used their magic to seemingly just push the walls back to where they wanted. Next thing he knew, they were popping in and out carrying furniture, and being bossed around by Snape, who insisted that the window should show the lake, and that the room needed a desk – no, not a school desk, you imbecile! - before finally being satisfied and allowing all the elves but one to leave.

“Harry.”

Harry looked up at him, wondering. Snape had surprised him before, but this seemed a bit much. Yeah, but why else would he have a bedroom set up in his chambers right now?

“Come here, please.”

Harry walked over.

“Is this acceptable to you?”

Harry once again looked up at the man in confusion. Acceptable?

“Will you be able to sleep here?” the man asked impatiently.

Sleep? Here? Really? “I- it's a bedroom,” Harry said.

“Yes, I realize that. Is it acceptable to you?”

“N-no, I just mean – I don't need - I was fine in the Room of Requirement, really-”

“Harry.”

“I was! It had a nice bed, and-”

“And no ward of mine will sleep in a cupboard.” Snape said bluntly, a trace of steel in his voice.

“It wasn't a cupboard,” Harry said defensively. “It was just a room. A...small room.”

“With cleaning products stored in it.”

Harry shook his head, trying to dispel some of the sleepiness that was making him act like a fool. “Why not?”

Severus sighed. This is another one that's going to take awhile, I suspect. “There was barely enough room for you, let alone storage. In addition, it is illegal in muggle Britain to have a bedroom without a window. Your 'bedroom' is, by definition, a cupboard.”

Harry glared at him. “Well I like it! It's cozy, and nobody can get in 'cept for me, and it's mine.”

“You mean it's small, and the door is small.”

Harry flushed, but clenched his teeth and didn't answer, clearly angry.

Helpful. Severus turned to the house-elf. “Would you install a lock, please? One that can only be locked or unlocked using a key.” The house-elf bowed, and popped away, and Severus turned back to Harry. “Is the room too big?”

“I don't need a room.”

Severus gritted his teeth briefly, frustrated. “Is that a yes?”

“I was fine in the Room of Requirement.”

“And I repeat once again, you will not sleep in a cupboard. Ever.”

“And I'll repeat that I was fine!”

“It's the principal of the thing.”

“Well screw your principals! I was fine!” Harry exclaimed, raising his voice further.

Temper starting to fail, Severus snapped back, “Is the room acceptable or not?”

“There's nothing wrong with the room, I just don't need it, okay?! I'm fine!” Harry yelled back.

Do I have to spell it out? “Need one or not, you have a room. All that's left is to tell me what you'd like done differently with it.”

That seemed to work better, and Harry was calmer when he said, hesitantly, “I - I don't need a room, honest. I can just go back to the dorm.”

“Will you actually sleep, Harry?”

“Maybe...”

“Don't lie to me.”

“I'm not! I just - I don't know, okay? Usually I'm fine!”

“Nevertheless, you need a room for when you're not, and eventually for when school's not in session.”

As he was speaking, the house-elf popped back in with another elf and a pre-made lock, handed Severus two keys, and started magicking it to the door.

When Severus handed both keys to Harry, he looked down at them and protested softly. “But- you won't be able to get in.”

“That is, I believe, the intention. You did say one of the things you liked about the cupboard was that only you could get in?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“It is your room, Harry. There is no reason that I should be able to lock or unlock it without your permission.”

My room? Why would you call it that? I can't have a room in your quarters. Snape had said one thing that appealed, however. “You – you can't lock it, either?” Harry asked.

“No, I cannot. Only you can do that.”

Harry just looked at him and didn't say anything, and Severus had a nasty thought.

“You've been locked in before, haven't you?”

Harry just stared at him, but didn't deny it.

“And yet you want to sleep there?”

Harry looked away, but Severus caught his whisper. “Better to be locked in than dragged out.”

Severus stared at him for a moment, speechless, before finally speaking.

“I suppose it is.” It was all he could think to answer.

Calmer, Harry tried again. “Look, I appreciate the gesture, but I really don't need a room. I'm fine in the dorms.”

Snape shook his head. “You weren't sleeping there. If you were desperate enough to leave the dorm and go all the way up to the Room of Requirement, then you need a better place to sleep. You can return to the dorms tomorrow, but for tonight I insist.”

Harry looked into the room, at the nice desk Snape had insisted on, and the special lock that couldn't be opened with a simple 'alohomora'. Whatever Snape might say, this wasn't a room for one night. A soft warmth filled his chest at the thought, and suddenly he was really sleepy, and the issue just didn't seem worth arguing. I get a room? In his quarters?

“Okay.”

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

The next morning, Harry woke up in a bed in a strange room. I don't belong here. But wait, Snape had made him. Oh that's where I am, he finally realized. He was in that room Snape had had the house-elves make in his quarters for him. My room, he remembered. He called it my room. I have a room? Nervous, Harry got up and dressed quickly before poking his head out of the room. Not seeing anybody there, he made for the door.

“And when, exactly, where you planning on brushing your teeth?” Snape asked, walking in from another room, fully dressed.

“Errmm...”

“Come eat breakfast.”

It didn't sound like a request, and Harry reluctantly followed Snape back into the other room. The room proved to be a small, but fully-equipped kitchen with a table and enough chairs for four people. The table was set for two, and already carried a simple breakfast of toast and fruit. Harry sat down when Snape indicated a seat, but waited for the man to start eating before tentatively serving himself a slice of toast. Watching Snape, he took a small bite. Seeing that the man didn't react, he relaxed a little and ate the rest of the slice quickly. Looking briefly at the rest of the toast and fruit on the table, Harry decided to leave it alone.

“Take another slice,” Snape said without looking up from the newspaper he was reading. “And some fruit.”

Harry scowled but obeyed, taking one more slice and a scoop of fruit.

Snape frowned a little, but didn't look up, and Harry ate the rest of his food without too much worry.

When he was done he looked up at Snape, still reading his newspaper, and asked, “Soo...am I in trouble?”

Finally Snape looked up at him. “Do you think you should be?”

“I wasn't doing anything bad,” Harry said. “I just wanted to sleep.”

“I realize that.”

“So am I in trouble?” Harry asked again, not actually terribly concerned. Snape just didn't seem mad at all, which meant that any punishment he decided to set down would be perfunctory at best.

“Not this time,” Snape finally answered. “In the future, however, if you need something in the middle of the night you are to come to me, not run around the castle in the dark.”

Harry gave him a blank stare. “You were asleep.”

“That is irrelevant.”

“Well I'm not about to wake you up in the middle of the night just 'cause I can't sleep!”

“Yes, you will.”

Hell no. “No, I won't,” Harry retorted.

Snape's eyes narrowed into a glare. “You will, or you will be in serious trouble for leaving the dorm after curfew. Understood?”

Another point on which Snape was not going to compromise, Harry noticed. Jerk. He scowled. “Can I go?”

“Understood?” Snape repeated, the glare intensifying.

“No, not understood!” Harry exclaimed. “I haven't the foggiest fucking idea of why you would insist on me waking you up in the middle of the night for something that I can perfectly well solve on my own. Now can I go?”

“I insist because you need it, Harry. I'd rather be woken up briefly than have you either spend the whole night awake or be wandering the corridors on your own in the middle of the night.”

“I'm not waking you up,” Harry insisted, finding his heartbeat picking up at his own blatant defiance. Fuck. He hated it when he and Snape went head-to-head like this. He always felt so... cornered.

“Why not?”

“I just won't.”

“Won't or can't?” Snape challenged.

Don't people usually ask, 'can't or won't?'? He bit his lip. You just don't wake people up. Which is that?

And he didn't like talking to Snape like this, but he could tell it was the only way he'd lay off.

“Can't,” he admitted quietly.

Snape stayed quiet for a second, then breathed deeply and said, “Well that's different, then. I will not require you to wake me up. However, if you ever have trouble sleeping in the dorm, then you are to come and sleep here. I will make sure that the wards allow you in. Is that acceptable to you?”

Now he was going to allow him in his quarters? Like allow him through the wards? Is he crazy? How can he know I won't trash the place?

“Is that acceptable to you?” Snape repeated.

“Yeah,” Harry said finally, realizing that he'd spaced out for a bit, “yeah that's okay.”

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