"Oh, excellent! After all: who better to raise the Young Prince than the Great Prince himself!" -(Owl) Bambi II, Disney

Being held by the dark man…Snape (a name he recalled out of the foggy blue)…had eased his tension somewhat but as soon as the other strange human, a female in an apron and hat, had come over, his terror had started again. Back in the forest, he had been frightened of those three intruders and initially of this Snape man at first…but he had been surrounded by trees and plants that his deer instincts connected with. Here…in this strange forest of stone, Harry was frightened and unaccustomed to the sights and smells around him. Yet, there was a small part of him that told him it was okay. Because of that voice, it was the only reason he felt the courage to follow the two legged animal to this strange place. …and hopefully to find his mother again.

Yet in this room that smelled of bizarre tingling odors and crisp white linen, Harry was having a hard time staying calm. As more people began to enter the curtained area of the hospital wing, he felt his chest seize with too many emotions and his legs folded stiffly beneath him. The different faces were alien even as the small constant voice inside him told the fawn they weren’t.

But please…there were too many people now…why couldn’t they leave him alone? Where was his mother?

Snape?

The fawn turned to see the glowering wizard trying to stand as far from the crowd as possible while keeping an eye on the activities. The medi-witch had waved her wand on top of the fawn to check for any injuries or ailments. The fawn had stared at her with large eyes and had shrunk away with uncontrollable tremors. If the woman hadn’t finished quickly, Snape had feared that the fawn would have backed over the edge of the bed he stood on.

Professor McGonagall was now having her turn waving her wand over the shivering creature that unsuccessfully sought to hide himself inside a pillow cover. When the elderly witch stopped her wand waving and the medi-witch, Potter sidekicks and the werewolf got to their feet for the diagnosis, the fawn couldn’t fight the wail that he aimed in the Potion Master’s direction.

Snape was the first to react as the fawn stood for the first time in the past hour and made a leap for the man right off the bed. The wizard was fast enough to catch the dratted animal before either of them broke their necks. If he hadn’t caught the skinny thing, the fawn would have surely snapped a leg if not its spine.

Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley both took a step away from theirs spots even with a hospital bed separating them from the angry Slytherin.

“Potter! WHAT was your goal for such a reckless stunt?!” the man nearly yelled as he set the fawn firmly on the ground. Of course, Snape would get no answer out of the fawn but he couldn’t help but feel even more annoyed at the silence.

But the fawn was now a lot calmer standing closer to him than a moment ago.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat. “Severus, he doesn’t seem to trust any of us. But he does feel comfortable around you.”

“Your point?” the wizard retorted. His nerves were wrecked—he had felt his heart stop when he saw the fawn try to jump the large chasm between the bed and his location.

“Maybe you should come over here and hold Mr. Potter for his feeding? Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley will assist you after Hagrid comes with the milk.” The Gryffindors were given a pointed look by their head of house when they visibly blanched at her words.

“We can take care of Harry ourselves, Professor!” Hermione said. “I’m sure Professor Snape is busy…”

Ron nodded next to her. “Yeah! And we have Remus here to help us!”

Remus Lupin lifted his head at the mention of his name. He had remained quiet through the ordeal speaking little since he had come to see Harry. He gave the two Gryffindors a tired smile. “Perhaps not, Ron…it seems my presence would more likely scare Harry and then give him a panic attack.”

“But you’re—”

“He can smell the wolf.” Lupin finally said. “It’s only been a few days since the full moon. I have the scent from my transformation on me…so I’m a dangerous threat to Harry’s conscious in this state.” The neutral, mild tone did not give away the man’s discourage like the tired lines around his eyes that looked something sad.

“Why is he like this?” Hermione questioned the Transfiguration professor.

The elderly woman stood straighter as she looked at the fawn that kept trying to move closer to Snape’s leg although he was already pressed against it completely.

“Mr. Potter has been hit with the Verto curse. It transforms a person into an animal in mind but is very hard to control.” she said.

“Who would want to turn Harry into a deer?” Ron asked.

“They might not have intended for Mr. Potter to become a fawn, Mr. Weasley. As you are all knowledgeable, James Potter’s animagus form was that of a stag—or buck—a male deer. Harry’s own magic must have been stronger than that of the castor so he transformed into his own animagus form—”

“…which he inherited from James.” Lupin finished with a look of awe.

The little deer tried to catch Snape’s attention when he could feel the man stiffen suddenly. ‘Don’t be angry. Are you angry with me?’ Harry tried to ask.

“Then why can’t he remember us?” the red head asked with a frown.

“The Verto curse changes the mind as well as the body. Mr. Potter’s memories are not completely lost just that his animal instincts override them for now.”

There was a tense silence as the occupants of the room (save Collin Creevey) took in this information. It was up to Snape to ask the question lingering on everyone’s mind.

“How does he transform back?”

“The quickest option is to have him take the antidote to the Bestia Serum.” Her words were directed at Snape who was deep in thought. “But it would be hard on Mr. Potter. He would have to find the will inside him to change himself into a human with the aid of the antidote.”

“The ingredients to that antidote are extremely hard to come by.” Snape said quickly. “Brewing it needs constant attention and a stasis charm could only hold it for a limited time—”

They were interrupted by the arrival of Harry’s meal.

“Evenin’, folks! Someone requeted ‘ere some Oisín milk?” Hagrid asked as he lowered his head to enter through the curtained off area. He held a large jug that sloshed with liquid inside. “Why lookie ‘ere! What’s this little scared fella doin’ in yer hospital wing, Poppy?”

“That’s Mr. Potter.”

“He’s been transformed into a fawn, Hagrid!” Hermione said as she looked at the trembling creature anxiously. She fretted with her hands with a worried look while she couldn’t do anything to comfort her friend.

The fawn shrunk further against Snape who made no move to acknowledge the little animal that looked upward wide eyed at the half-giant.

“’Arry? Great Merlin, it is ‘im! Poor thing’s terrified of us.” Hagrid untied the jug that was knotted at his belt and removed a cap to reveal a bottle with a teat. “Come ‘ere, little fella, Hagrid’s got somethin’ fer you!”

Hagrid held out the end of the bottle where a small drop of the Oisín milk had been squeezed, the creamy dot capturing the fawn’s attention. Harry looked up from the bottle at Hagrid’s smiling face and then back at the bottle.

Hagrid…the name…it was familiar…

“Thanks, ‘Arry. I will. Oh! Here are the cakes fer ‘Ermione and Ron.”

Whoa. Freeze. Where did that come from?

Harry looked up at Snape who didn’t seem apprehensive or wary of the large man…so this ‘Hagrid’ had to be safe. The fawn decided he would just inspect the bottle very carefully.

Snape felt the forceful, trembling pressure on his leg ease and he looked down to see the fawn tentatively step towards the bottle all the while looking at the groundskeeper for any sign of a threat. “That’s a good fella…here’s some warm milk to fill that belly of yers…” Hagrid chided softly.

Everyone watched with an intense silence as Harry sniffed the bottle before swiping his tongue quickly to capture the drop of milk. The tension and stiffness of the fawn’s body eased slowly and soon the young creature was suckling as much milk as he could. Without choking, that is. The fawn was famished since he expected to be fed by his mother at dusk, which was a good number of hours ago.

“’Atta boy! Come ‘ere, you two. Harry will trust ya if you hold onto the bottle like this.”

The two Gryffindors walked slowly towards Hagrid so they didn’t scare the fawn and both held onto the bottle and a smile breaking through their anxiety instantly. They looked down at the hungry fawn that gave them a glance while keeping his mouth stuck on the teat and didn’t tense or run away from them.

Snape was startled by McGonagall’s hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t noticed he was watching the fawn so intently.

He was forced to congregate on the other side of the room where Lupin, Pomphrey and Hagrid spoke with one another.

“You are familiar with this antidote, Severus?” Poppy asked.

“Of course, but I’ve only brewed it once due to the scarcity of its ingredients.” he answered smoothly.

“Sev’rus, I know of some fellas who could get you some rare stuff.”

“And I have some connections as well, Severus,”

Snape looked from Hagrid to Lupin and nodded finally. “You will contact them and have them sent to the castle through you.”

“Can they not send them through owl post?” McGonagall asked.

“The more delicate ingredients need great care during transportation. Not an ancient delivery owl dropping them into the English Channel.” Snape said as he turned a serious glare to the half-giant and werewolf once again. “Be sure these ingredients are not tampered with or else the brat will be poisoned. Check them thoroughly before accepting any of the ingredients.”

Lupin nodded firmly but looked worried. “If the antidote doesn’t work…”

“And Mr. Potter doesn’t choose to transform? He could stay like this.” McGonagall said gravely. “Merlin forbid.”

The man nodded although Snape could tell his thoughts were starting a research plan. The werewolf was always the bookish one of the Marauder cult during their school years.

Snape nodded to the adults who were wallowing in the likelihood of the permanent fawn. He pushed the curtains out of his way and he could feel himself step out of the silence barrier that had been placed on the section of the hospital wing.

The wizard caught sight of the clock hanging above the hospital doors and felt his lack of sleep catching up to him when he was rammed awake. Literally.

Wait, no, it was just the fawn—…Potter?!

The fawn had turned swiftly back to Snape and found the man gone when he had nearly finished the bottle. He looked up at the two Gryffindors who weren’t so scary anymore but he felt panic start to swell as he searched for the dark robed man.

"Drink up, Harry. You want to grow large, healthy antlers, don't you?" Hermione chided as she tried to tempt the fawn to finishing his meal. But Harry was still looking elsewhere. “What’s wrong?” Hermione asked, momentarily forgetting the boy’s lack of human speech.

“Hey! Where’re you goin’?” Ron asked in turn as the fawn jolted into a sprint, the fear settling in once again.

The fawn stumbled but it didn’t hamper his speed as he dashed away. Ron tried to settle the fawn before he could move any further but the small animal managed to trip and slide between the curtains, landing on his rump and gliding along the impossibly clean floor.

“He doesn't walk very good, does he?” Ron commented.

Then the fawn had finally managed to spot Snape, eagerly getting back on his not so nimble legs and making a blind dash for the dark robed figure. He nearly made the man fall off kilter by ramming him from behind head-on in a frightened daze. Snape turned a very sour glare at the fawn as the animal shook his head of the impact and beamed at the cross-looking man, twirling his velvety ears and wagging his tail with glowing joy. Oh, good. He had been so worried he’d loose the man too!

It had been too similar to his mother going away.

“Stay.” Snape nudged the fawn with his knee for good measure. But the fawn merely took a step back as the man tried to push him away and then took two more steps forward. Harry was sure he wouldn’t let the man out of his sight again! “Impossible little—”

“Severus!”

“Professor, Harry still has more of this milk to finish!”

“Severus, do bring him back this instant!” McGonagall sternly reprimanded the outraged man. They thought he would willingly bring Potter anywhere with him?

“It is not my fault the bloody creature won’t stop following me! Restrain Potter so I can attend to Albus’s report!”

“Severus, language!”

The man had never felt the fatigue of late hours so heavily before tonight. “Are you quite through, Minerva?”

“Severus, it is plain to see that Mr. Potter has become fond of you. Why don’t you take him with you—”

“No.”

“—to see the headmaster?” the woman finished, ignoring the younger man’s protest.

Snape had to agree with the face that the Weasley boy was making.

“He won’t be a nuisance. I’m sure you’re more than capable of delivering a report as well as looking after him. I’m sure Albus would like to see Mr. Potter as well.”

The Potions Master attempted to persuade the others in taking the fawn with them for the night but his threats of grade failures, disembowelment and torture had no effect. The two Gryffindors who offered to look after Harry were sternly sent back up to the Gryffindor tower by their head of house.

Damnation.

At the end of that fun episode, Snape found himself trying to pulverize the floor with his feet as he made his way to the headmaster’s office with the little fawn in tow.

In all honesty, Snape wasn’t looking forward to this report. But most of all he wanted to get it over with. There was a thought that had been buzzing in his head like a persistently annoying fly and he had not wanted the boy to come along. Always his reports to the headmaster were without an audience and he had wanted to keep it that way too.

Sighing he slowed his steps so the fawn could gain a little proximity with his wobbly legs. “I was almost clean of you for the night, Potter. Almost.”

The dark eyes of the fawn looked up at Snape and again the torch lights brought the emerald green ablaze.

Snape didn’t turn to look at the fawn for the rest of the way.

“Fizzy Lifting Drinks,” Snape managed to grumble at the gargoyle. The man immediately stepped through as the statue jumped back but the fawn lingered behind, wary of the moving wall and twisting stairs. “Well, Potter? We don’t have all night.” Snape irritably beckoned the animal. “You’ve already wasted the better half as it is.”

Harry awkwardly tried to place a steady hoof on one of the steps as it ascended. Then the fawn’s body was haphazardly jumbled cross three treads, sprawled clumsily but happy that he had managed to get on the stairs at all.

By the time the fawn reached the level where Snape had raised his hand to knock, the door was already pulling itself open and allowing the two entrance into the office. Soft clinking and clattering of strange instruments fizzled and whirled on shelves to one side and a grand desk with papers and inviting chairs were on the other. The old headmaster, a colorful robe donned over night clothes, sat behind the desk smiling cheerily at the scowling man and quivering fawn.

“Harry, I see you are still adjusting to the new environment. I know it is hard, my boy, but I hope you will be able to recognize the castle soon.”

“Headmaster, he can’t understand a word you said. He’s even dafter than before in this state.”

Dumbledore nodded slowly. “So Minerva and Poppy have seen to the boy?”

“Yes, it’s the Verto curse.”

“I see,”

“I have more to discuss with you, Albus…in private.”

“Severus, the boy has no understanding of the human tongue as you’ve said—” Dumbledore began with a puzzled look.

“I can’t!” Snape hissed between his teeth. It unnerved him to talk of sensitive matters even in front of the dim-witted fawn. The headmaster looked at the animal who was keeping as little distance as possible between him and Snape. Something had to be done…perhaps a talk with the man would relieve some tension from Snape and then the man would allow the fawn some slack in return. And there was still the matter of Harry’s care…

“Come, Severus, we can retire to my sitting room for a bit. Harry, be good. We’ll be back soon.”

The fawn tried to follow Snape once again but the door shut in his face and the creature was left in the office. Harry decided to wait there then…Snape man would be back…he hoped.

“I do hope Harry is house trained, Severus,” the old man casually said as they entered through the door connected to the office.

The headmaster’s rooms were spacious and richly furnished with a warm fireplace and inviting seats. The two men took the two closest to the hearth and Dumbledore tried to offer the man a glass to drink but Snape declined brusquely. He looked too tense now but he seemed to want his agitation, possibly to fuel his speech. This couldn’t be a good sign.

“What memories of the boy did you give my Patronus, Albus?”

The question startled the headmaster. He hadn’t been expecting it.

“Happy ones, Severus. I’m sure you know how positive thoughts and emotions trigger the Patronus. I must say…it took me a while to find a solid, joyous occasion concerning the boy.”

Snape continued to look at the old man, waiting for more so the headmaster pressed on.

“His sorting from his first year, his first Quidditch match as Seeker (catching the snitch ultimately), and some here and there from his infancy.”

“His infancy….”

“I visited Lily when Mr. Potter was born and afterwards when I found the time. A mother holding her child for the first time, I thought little Harry must have been very happy at that moment.” Dumbledore saw the man sitting next to him swallow thickly and nodded. “What has happened, Severus?”

“My Patronus…” Snape began tensely. “Potter in his new form has bonded with my Patronus. I believe those memories became…hers…and she saw the fawn as her own.”

“Did this disturb you greatly?” But now the old man could see it in the younger one’s face. “And because she is connected with you, he too has bonded with you. Must the thought be so upsetting, my boy?”

“Any connection with the brat makes me nauseous alone!” Snape insisted irritably. A lie. They shared someone from their pasts. “He has enough of his penchant for trouble to deal with and to add any reliance upon me would just rake up more trouble for the both of us. There are too many who would take this situation and turn it into chaos. We both have enemies with too many resources.”

“Then we wouldn’t want Mr. Potter’s condition to be scattered to the four winds…” Dumbledore murmured as he smoothed his beard in thought.

“And allow the Dark Lord to gain whiff.” There was a bitterness to the words ‘Dark Lord’. “But just watch as once again, headmaster, your golden star will find some way to ruin it (more than he already has by getting himself in this situation) and we’ll have death eaters knocking on our door.”

“Harry doesn’t bring trouble upon himself surely.”

“EVERY year, headmaster, the boy has some disaster waiting to happen up his sleeve. No disregard for anyone but his popularity and fame.”

“I’m sure Mr. Potter cares, Severus. Perhaps…if he knew there was a guardian angel watching his every move…?”

Snape gawked at being referred to as such.

“Harry is all heart, I assure you.”

“I’ll eat the Sorting Hat when Potter manages to think before he acts. And thinking with your heart doesn’t cut it. We can wait for Potter to grow some filling for his head but I doubt the outcome of that.”

“A watched cauldron never boils, Severus.”

Snape snorted loudly. It was so like the headmaster to continue fighting for the boy. Only at the end of last summer did the boy trash the very office that the fawn idly waited in at the moment. Perhaps Harry had managed to eat the Sorting Hat himself by now.

“I must say Severus, for one who cares much for his safety you would be ideal to watch him. This bond has been created and tearing it when Harry is in such a weak state…it could be bring irreversible consequences.” the headmaster said evenly. “You want no connection to the boy but as you can see, and can’t deny, that your lives are intertwined.”

“You ask too much, old man! I protect the cretin just fine from a distance.” Snape angrily retorted, eyes ablaze. “Saddle him with someone else; I will look after him as I always have.”

“Severus…”

“How can you ask this of me, Albus?”

“You are a brave man, Severus. You have overcome so much.”

Snape shook his head with a grim expression. The headmaster was trying to butter him up! The codger’s words wouldn’t seduce him again, he was no fool! Snape knew this old man’s hocus pocus tricks…the image of a man in old age veiled others but not Severus Snape. It was when the headmaster complimented him in such dire situations that he hoped to win Snape over. It was just as that Willy Shakes wrote ‘all that glitters is not gold’ and such.

“But you continue to fail me here.” Failure? Snape did not deny he had failed at many things.

“Why must you allow your hatred for James to disregard your love for Lily?”

The old man…was questioning his love for the woman he would give everything for? He was asking to be throttled in his own private rooms! “What? NO!” It peeved Snape that this man of all people would compare anything more than his dedication to Lily’s memory. He didn’t hate that arrogant toe rag more than Lily. He didn’t. He would never place that sod before Lily in anything. He couldn’t...but then again Snape had always found that the saying “old flames die hard” to be true to with him. This realization disgusted him. How could it be true?

“Then prove me wrong, Severus. Prove to me you truly loved Lily…loved her enough to care, look after and protect her son. It is what you swore to do. Protect him.” Dumbledore knew he had been playing this card for a long time. Every time he cursed himself for it. It would work this time as it always did but the old man knew that Harry needed more than protection, his infant-like state as a fawn clearly stated that, and Severus Snape needed to do more as well.

Dumbledore placed a withered, bony hand on the Slytherin’s chest. Snape surprised himself by not startling or brushing it away brusquely. “I can only beseech you, Severus, never force you, to show Harry the better man I know is in here.” The hollow beating of his heart resonated against the aged palm up to the younger man’s ears, a dismal reminder that he, Severus Snape was still alive and why. “This man is the stuff of envy.”

“Y-You can’t mean that.” Snape croaked out.

“I do, my boy, I do.” The old man gave him that smile. Snape remembered seeing it for the first time five years ago. The headmaster had given it to the Potter boy then. How jealous of the boy he had been then but now…receiving it…he felt so…
…unworthy. Snape had to shut his eyes at the sparkling pride and truth radiating from the sage man’s eyes.

“One day I hope you shall come to terms with this better man, Severus.”

“This better man can not spy on Dark Lords!” he bitterly spat, unable to hold back the acid in his tone. But it was the smallest desire to follow Dumbledore’s words that riled him up.

“He loved Lily and gave himself to spy on the monster that murdered her.”

“She never knew this ‘better man’!”

“Then show her son.” Snape felt himself fully exhausted of words by this point. “For Lily and her son, I think he deserves to know him. You.” Dumbledore could see Snape’s stoic façade slowly crumble. Snape couldn’t speak or open his mouth as he looked at the headmaster but wasn’t really seeing him. His eyes, his mind, his thoughts were searching out the meaning in the bearded man’s words. And he saw it clearing before him—reason—because it did make sense when—when—wait.

“…it’s the fact that he exists, really…”

“He doesn’t exist.” Snape finally intoned neutrally. Dumbledore watched in dismay as the dawning light of acceptance fade and then shut behind the man’s steely reserve completely. The shining, ebony eyes hardened and the old man knew he couldn’t push this matter any further for the meantime.

“He has no one right now,” the headmaster sadly noted more to himself. His fatigue from the sleepless night had begun their creeping into his bones.

“He will deal with it.”

“Sadly, you’ve seen the outcome of that statement already, my boy.” Snape could hear the silent words clearly. You’ve lived it.

The fire crackled and blazed with enthusiasm as the two sat in silence for a while, shadows jumping across walls and furniture before their eyes.

“Until spring,” Snape managed to grumble with closed eyes. “If the antidote does not work and we can not find a cure by then, he’ll have to bond with someone else.”

“Thank you, my boy. You’ve saved him once again.” the old man spoke in a soft tone, saddened tone. It made Snape’s ears burn.

The Potions Master stood to gather the fawn from within the office but stopped at the pressure of the headmaster’s hand on his arm. Snape turned towards the older man who was looking deeply into the flames; his eyes were glassy and brightly lit.

“Thank you, Severus,”

The headmaster did not stand to see the man out but it felt as though Snape was fleeing from the room himself. The little fawn stood to greet him and Snape sighed wearily, allowing the creature to follow him out of the office and back into the corridor.

Snape walked methodically down to the dungeons, tracing steps he had walked upon thousands of times in the past fifteen years. He did not feel the drop in temperature as he became surrounded by hard stone walls and dimly flickering torches. He barely registered the fawn that trotted next to him, hoping eagerly for his attention. But inside the man was anything but numb. He wished he was.

They entered his office which would have a door leading to his private rooms. Snape usually considered sleep to be wasteful hours. But now…he had never wanted to loose himself in slumber so badly, away from the world.