With Eyes Wide Open

“There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.” – Jawaharlal Nehru


Chapter One
Burning Bridges


“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.” – Tom Stoppard

November 5, 1981

A hustler’s lustful eyes watched her as she hurried past him. Robe wrapped tightly around herself and her child. Her baby moved against her as if he could sense her fear, his small chubby hand reaching out from under her cloak for a lock of her auburn hair. Fearful emerald eyes, almost glowing with her unshed tears darted toward the man. She watched as he shifted his eyes to her child, then he straightened and turned away.

They were safe for the moment. Yet, a moment was too short.

“Padfoot… Moony… Lucan… where are you?” she murmured, eyes searching frantically, seeking every dark corner, every crevice in which to hide.

So lost was she in her searching that she did not hear the person approach behind her. Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around her waist effectively pinning her back against a hard torso. Every nerve went on alert as she struggled against the hold. The man was saying something to her but she couldn’t hear him, every part of her looked for a way to escape, a way to protect her baby.

Then, she heard her name.

“Lily, it’s just me. It’s Sirius.”

Lily suddenly burst into tears as many days worth of frustration and grief spilled out of her. Turning her around, Sirius eased her into a warm embrace, being careful not to harm the baby. She buried her face into the folds of his robes, clutching her son to her with both arms tight around him.

“It’s my fault… it’s all my fault… I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Shh… Lils, it’s not your fault. You’re not to blame for this.” He moved a hand up to cup her head, fisting his fingers loosely in the auburn strands that fell in a mused wave as he pushed back the hood of her cloak. He leaned down his head to rest upon hers, brushing his lips over her hair.

“But I am. I am… Oh, James, I’m sorry…”

Sirius gripped her tighter, clenching his eyes shut allowing two traitorous tears to roll down his face. I have to be here for her. It wasn’t her fault. James knew what could happen. She’s my sister.

I’ve got to change the past. I’ve got to prove I’m not my father.

“Lucan…” Lily whispered, slowly pulling herself away from him. Sirius fought back the pain that struck him as she approached the tall, blond haired man. He wrapped her in a secure hug, folding her within his fur-lined cloak. He rested his chin calmly atop her head – with his frozen, azure eyes watching Sirius unblinking. Sirius crossed his arms and glared darkly back at the other man.

“Monroe,” Sirius spat, slate eyes flashing dangerously.

“Black,” Lucan countered, a smug smirk plastered on his tan face – a smirk that Sirius wished he could knock right off. Sirius growled in irritation as the man’s smirk became a grin.

“Easy, mutt,” Lucan said flippantly, causing Sirius to clench his fists and march toward him.

“Boys, please… Not tonight. Not now.” Lily whispered as she moved toward an old wooden crate and sat down. She tucked Harry deeper inside her robes and began discreetly feeding him. Her eyes darted at the shadows in discomfort, hoping that no one would approach them, fully aware of the breeze hitting her bared skin.

“Yes, please… I have had enough this night,” encroached a weary voice as a slumped man appeared from the shadows. He offered Lily a weary smile in exchange of her concerned face. He found himself a spot leaning against a far wall, body drooping and exhausted.

“What took you so long, Moony?” Sirius asked, pulling off his cloak so that Lily could wrap up Harry once he finished and plopped down beside her.

Remus sighed and closed his eyes and said dismissively, “Fenrir was being particularly difficult to stand tonight.” Grunting, he turned to face them. “He stuck Fang and Petrol outside my house.”

“Difficult, Lupin?” asked Lucan sarcastically with an odd grin on his pale face. “Fang and Petrol are feral monsters with more snout than decency. Not to mention, they would rather rip out your throat than to follow the orders of anyone.”

“Better them than Greyback,” Lily said with a shudder, pulling the cloak over her chest to cover what little she was exposing and to keep her son warm as he fed. With a sigh, she leaned against Sirius’s arm.

“It was in the Prophet today,” Lupin started, fiddling tiredly with a hole in the sleeve of his robes. “The article claims that Aurors found the bodies of Lily and Harry Potter below an overpass in western London crushed from impact. She jumped, holding the baby. Apparent suicide.”

“And they might have,” whispered Lily, shifting her bundled baby as he became too heavy for one arm, lifting him to her shoulder to burp him. “It depends on just what Dumbledore acquired to throw Fudge off of our trail.”

“Bit extreme, don’t you think?” Lucan stated, peering at Lily from beneath his blond fringe. “…For the world to believe you dead?”

Lily was silent for a long time as she handed her son to Sirius who wrapped Harry within his cloak. She buttoned the few loose ones on her robes before she took Harry back from Sirius. She kissed him on the forehead and he grabbed her hair again, giggling as he pulled on it.

With tears in her tired eyes, she replied with barely a whisper, “If it keeps my baby from the hands of Fudge and Umbridge, I will do anything.”

“But what now?” Lucan’s frozen eyes peered around at the Sirius and Remus before resting upon Lily, his dear baby sister’s face. “We have a woman and child whom the world believes to be dead. Black is a convenient scapegoat on the run from the authorities and Lupin is on house arrest by a maniac werewolf. And me, well, I am just the semi-innocent bystander.”

“What about Severus?” Remus asked, as he shifted uneasily against the wall, amber eyes suspiciously watching a young muggle boy in a leather duster walk past them. “Dumbledore won’t have told him, will he?”

“He says it’s too dangerous,” Lily whispered, blinking back the tears that stung her eyes.

Lucan’s eyes, which almost glowed in the dark, alighted with an inner fire. “You are not saying that he is keeping the man from his son?” The other three sat still and tears finally spilled over unto his baby sister’s cheeks, despite all her efforts against them. Disgust flittered over the planes of his bronze face. “Does the old codger have no heart?”

“He’s been good to us, Lucan,” Lily whispered, pain lacing with her words. Lucan was unsure if she was trying to reassure him or herself. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

“He’s Dumbledore, Luc,” Remus added, lycanthropic golden eyes peering out at the other man. “Usually, he knows more than we do. We just got to trust him.”

Lucan snorted derisively but didn’t say anything further. It was no secret to the other three that Lucan Monroe despised Albus Dumbledore.

“Now, what do we do?” Lily whispered, shaking and afraid of the answers to the questions she had to ask. “Padfoot can’t go home, not unless he wants to be arrested. I don’t want Moony to go back to those monsters. But more selfishly, I don’t want to be without you two or Lucan… Maybe I should go to Prince Manor. Eileen might help me.”

“There is no way that she would help us and stay silent at the same time.”

“I still don’t understand why anyone has to be silent,” Lucan growled.

“Brother, please,” Lily begged, emerald eyes shining sadly in the glow from a single streetlamp.

Frustration brewed behind Lucan’s grey eyes as he hesitated before saying his offer slowly as if unsure he was actually saying it, “You could stay at the Estate.”

Remus looked up at the man incredulous that he had even offered but the wheels began to turn in his head. “It’s the safest option we’ve got. It might be the only option we’ve got. It wouldn’t be complete insanity to pass Lily off as a Monroe.”

Sirius scowled at the suggestion and crossed his arms over his chest like a stubborn toddler.

Lily, however, spoke up softly. “How would we go about making it legit? It would seem strange for a pureblood family to suddenly have a daughter whose existence was never confirmed. It wouldn’t be advantageous to mention the–” Lily blushed “–promiscuity.”

Lucan answered, with a slight mocking lilt, “Well, I’m sure with Dumbledore’s ingenuity–” His lip curled disgusted “–he could find a creditable cover-up.”

“Technically, Lily is a Black,” Sirius grumbled.

“But that doesn’t exactly help her case, does it, Mutt?”

Fire flashed in Lily’s eyes as she turned her countenance on her two half-brothers. “If you two don’t stop your bickering, I’ll make myself a Lupin!”

She wasn’t prepared to see the devious smile cross Lucan’s face. “That wouldn’t be such a bad idea, Princess.”

All three of his companions stared incredulously at him and deigned themselves to answer in unison, “What?!”

“Maybe not a Lupin, per se but perhaps...” They all waited with baited breath but Lucan merely nodded to something in his head and kept silent.

Sirius, predictably, was the one to break the quiet. “Monroe, spit it out before I knock your face in!”

“Easy, Black, or I might make Lupin take a snip at you.”

Lily rolled her eyes and walked away, trying to console her baby as he was reacting badly to his uncle Padfoot’s raised voice. Remus, however, was once again the voice of – trying but often not succeeding – reason.

“Lucan, we are all intrigued by your proposal and would likely be even more so if you would share it with us.”

Lucan’s blue eyes widened in mock wonder and he turned to look at Sirius with his expression. “Look at that, Black. What manners Remus has. You should take some lessons. Conjure some parchment. You’ll need to take notes as not to forget.”

“Lucan, please!” Lily’s voice was slightly hysterical and Harry’s whimpers even more so.

This time it was Lucan’s turn to roll his eyes. “Alright, you, Lily, will not be a Monroe. You don’t have the features. But Lupin, on the other hand…”

Sirius’ face bordered on confusion and anger and Lily stared incredulously at her brother. Remus’ brows nearly touched each other in contemplation as he asked, “How would passing me off as a Monroe help Lily’s case, Lucan?”

Lucan, for his case, was rather unperturbed and answered the question as if he had been asked whether or not the sky was blue. “Simple. You’ll be married.”

“She’s already married,” Sirius deadpanned.

Lucan rolled his eyes, sneering. “Not real marriage, you fool. Fake, of course. Cast a few simple glamour charms and they will be husband and wife, from my father’s side once removed.”

“And Harry?” Lily asked, bouncing her child up and down as he began to fuss, “I don’t feel comfortable casting charms on my child.”

“Lily, you really have no choice of the matter, especially with that horrid curse scar he’s got.”

Lily sighed, looking down at her son. She kissed his forehead gently and nuzzled him. “Alright,” she whispered.

“And what about me?” Sirius asked.

“Why it’s obvious, Black! You will be the ugly half-witted family pet.”

Lily let a smile cross her face as Sirius scowled at Lucan while Remus snorted and shook his head fondly.