"NO! STOP! PLEASE NO! ARRRRRGGGGGG!"

Severus was at his son's bedside in a flash, shaking his shoulders and trying to get him to wake, but he couldn't.

"MASTER NO! I DIDN'T DO IT! ARRRGGGG!"

Knowing that his son was reliving his capture and torture, Severus conjured a bucket of icy water with his wand and allowed it to dump over his son's head, soaking both of them and the bed.

Harry sputtered and coughed, as if he were drowning, and sat up straight, looking terrified. Severus did not hesitate to pull Harry into a hug, and Harry let himself be wrapped up in the warmth of his father's arms.

"Make it stop, please. I can't do it anymore."

"You are awake now. It was only a dream. Allow yourself to calm."

"No, it's never going to stop. I've been having the dreams for four days. It's like I'm under the crucio again and again."

Severus sighed and held Harry tighter. Madam Pomfrey, as well as a specialized medi-witch from St. Mungos had both looked Harry over and given him a clean bill of health after a few days in the Hospital Wing, but the medi-witch had told Severus in private that residual magic from the crucio's might continue to torment Harry for several weeks, especially in his sleep.

"We knew this might happen Harry. Eventually the magic will dissipate, and you will be fine." At least he had only collapsed once during the day from a pseudo crucio attack, and it had been in Severus' private quarters where no one could witness his son writhing in pain on the floor.

"It's never going to stop," Harry said with certainty, shuddering. "I'll never be able to hold the baby... I'll pass out and drop him or something."

Releasing his grip on his son, Severus tilted Harry's chin up so that Harry would look directly into his eyes. "You will be all right. If you trust me in nothing else, trust me when I say that you are safe here with me. As soon as you begin going to classes again, and participating in your other, normally reckless activities, the effects will fade more quickly as your mind grows occupied with other things.

Thus far Harry had been temporarily dismissed from classes so that he could have time to deal with the trauma, but he could not simply skip the entire end of the year. Two weeks out of school was too much already. It was common knowledge now that Severus was Harry's father (someone, presumable one of the Weasley's had leaked it to the rest of the student body), and that Harry had been captured by Voldemort and rescued. Every day he was asked about Harry's well-being by concerned students, and every day he lied: ‘He is doing better, thank you for your concern. He will be back in class in a few days.'

"You're not going to make me go back, are you?" Harry shuddered, cold and wet there in the bed in his room in his father's quarters.

Severus eyed his son. "Yes, I am. And things will get better. Your classmates, and fiancé are worried about you." Harry hadn't wanted Ginny to see him like this. She had been allowed to see him in the Hospital Wing, but the moment Harry had been released and had had his first attack in his father's quarters, Harry had asked to be left alone by everyone, except for Severus.

"I don't want to go. I've done all my homework already... I'm all caught up."

Conjuring a towel and handing it to Harry to begin to dry off, Severus said, "Being caught up is not enough. You need to finish out the year and take your NEWTS. If you intend to apply to the Auror's Program after Ginny has graduated then you need high scores."

"How can you think about the Auror program now?" Harry said, sounding more accusing than he realized.

"You want me out there battling dark wizards?"

"I want you trained properly so that you can protect yourself. And in any case, I did not say you had to apply, only that you might wish to in the future, which requires good grades on the NEWTS, as do most occupations. Even Quidditch teams require high grades on specific NEWTS."

Harry sighed as he dried off his hair and scratched at his head. "I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can sit through classes like nothing happened. How am I supposed to concentrate with so much going on in my mind?"

"A strong cup of coffee after occluding your mind, and then a will to focus hard on the task at hand."

‘One day at a time,' didn't that sound all too familiar, Harry mused.

"Fine, I'll go back tomorrow," Harry said, knowing it would be better to go back Monday instead of the middle of the week when he would be behind on lessons again. He would put on the brave face everybody expected him to... even his father. How Harry wished his father understood.

Severus tried to give Harry an encouraging look. "You will do fine, and I will be here for you should you need me." Here he pulled out a bottle with green liquid in it and handed it to Harry. "One swallow of this will prevent the attacks for four hours. Plenty of time to go to classes provided you do not fall asleep."

Harry took it and nodded. "Thanks dad."

Severus smiled, still amazed at the name that now came so easily from his son's mouth.

* * *

After a week without incident during the day, and lessening incidents during the night, Harry moved back into Gryffindor tower to much happy applaud by his classmates, happy that he was finally back. Even Ron seemed enthused to have him back, even though he still wasn't speaking to him.

Harry took great comfort in sitting in the corner of the common room as he once had, wrapped up in Ginny's arms, her fingers running through his hair.

"Benjamin," she said.

"Noah," Harry replied.

"Kenai."

"Should we be talking about this here?" Harry looked up into her eyes from where his head rested in her lap as he lay on his back.

"Nobody knows what we're talking about, and they will soon enough anyway."

"Just so long as you're comfortable with it."

"I am so long as you're here." She grinned and Harry tried to return it, trying not to worry over how he was ultimately doomed to kill or be killed.

* * *

"Harry?"

Harry looked up at Ron as he was pulling his left sneaker off. "Yeah?"

Ron looked around to be sure that none of the other boys were there in the dormitory with them, and then said, "I saw how you were when you got back... I mean, how good you were to Ginny... like you didn't even care you were about to pass out. That means a lot."

Harry stared at him. "I love her. I'd do anything for her."

"I know... and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being such a jerk. It's always been me and her against everybody else in the family with us being the youngest. And I swore to protect her. It was hard knowing I'd failed."

"You didn't fail," Harry told him. "You just allowed the responsibility to pass off on to me. And I wanted it."

Ron thought on that for a moment. "How ‘bout we share?"

Harry allowed himself a small laugh.

"Just don't tell her that then."

"Forgive me for breaking your nose, even though you deserved it?"

Harry threw a pillow at him. "Only if you forgive me for breaking yours, even though you deserved it."

Ron threw the pillow back.

"Deal."

* * *

The corridor was dark as Harry made his way back from the kitchens with a snack for Ginny. Apparently being two months pregnant made you very hungry, and he had been going back and forth to the kitchens every night near or after curfew with fruit and cookies, and anything else she asked for.

Tonight was one of those nights that she wanted peanut butter brownies with pickles and mayonnaise and that he had to hold back the urge to throw up as he carried the nasty concoction up the stairs.

Harry had just reached the second floor when he saw a puddle of water in the hallway. Hm, that was odd. There weren't even any bathrooms nearby that could have flooded, and yet, here was water in the middle of the floor. He stooped down to investigate, and as he saw his own reflection in the dirty water he felt a familiar ache of thirst coming over him.

He shook himself mentally. No, stop it, this wasn't the same dungeon he had been thrown into with rancid water resting on the floor the only thing for him to drink. But as hard as he tried to shake himself of the feeling that he was somehow still trapped there, he couldn't, and the next thing he knew he had dropped Ginny's snack and hit the stone floor with his knees. Head spinning and a familiar oily feeling reaching him from a curse that had long since fallen upon him, Harry shook his head over and over, and when he couldn't rid himself of it, he stopped trying, and allowed himself to sink further into fear and anxiety, until he no longer knew where he lay, and who was around him.

* * *

Severus Snape's office door burst open with such fury that he had pulled his wand out in defense, ready to attack whomever had barged in on him in such a hurry. Instead of Voldemort or another Deatheater however, he spotted Draco Malfoy, hair disheveled and panting as if he'd run a marathon.

"Harry...Come... Now!"

Draco turned and ran and Severus followed close on his heels, not daring to ask what had happened to his son now. Within minutes they were rounding the corner to a corridor on second floor where Harry lay curled in on himself, a mess of food splattered on the floor beside him. Draco looked like he was about to die from running so fast, but Severus knew he would be all right, and knew his son needed him more.

"Harry," Severus kneeled beside him and brought his head up to lay in his lap. "Harry, it's all right, you're at Hogwarts, safe."

He didn't respond, and when Severus saw how his eyes were glazed over, he remembered the Longbottoms, still in St. Mungos, the horror from so much trauma and Cruciatus curses having driven them insane.

"Harry, you have to listen to me now. Your father is here, Draco is here... you are going to be fine. You're fine Harry, there's no danger." He repeated it, trying to believe it himself, but knowing that even now Deatheaters plotted along with the Dark Lord on how to kill him and his son.

"Help me Draco," Severus said, motioning for the blond to kneel down. Draco did so and helped lift Harry up to a sitting position, and turned him to face his father.

Severus looked into his son's eyes, and before diving into them, said to Draco, "Whatever happens, tell him that it was not his fault if I should not come out of this."

Draco wanted to tell him to stop, that he was the only real father he knew as well, but knew that Harry depended on Snape, so he only nodded. And then his Head of House looked just as glazed over as Harry did.

Inside Harry's mind were no images, no memories playing as though a movie on a screen. There was only darkness, and in a far corner of the darkness sat a still figure bathed in a small, warm light.

Severus walked towards the figure, and found Harry.

"Son?"

Harry looked up.

"You're going to end up as crazy as I am if you stay too long," Harry said.

"You have to come out now Harry. You can't stay like this."

Harry sighed. Or what, or I'll have so many attacks one day that I'll harm Ginny or the baby? So many attacks that I'll finally crack and end up in St. Mungos?" He laughed nervously.

"You have to come out of here, or you will end up in St. Mungos. Hiding from your problems is not the way to handle them, trust me when I say I am intimately familiar with this problem."

"Trust me when I say it's dangerous out there. Do you really think Voldemort would attack me like this?"

"I think Voldemort will attack your family without you around to protect them. He already knows of Ginny and the baby. And I do not believe you want your wife and child living without you."

"Also something you're familiar with?"

"Unfortunately."

Harry bowed his head where he sat with his back up against the solid darkness, and when nothing more was forthcoming, Severus knelt down beside him.

"Harry, this is the price you must pay for having a family. You must sacrifice yourself for them. In this case, you must sacrifice your fear and the trauma you have experienced, and leave the safety of your mind so that you may protect them."

"It's all just too much dad." Harry looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "I'm so tired of living like this... living from hurt to hurt."

Suddenly Severus remembered something that his son had once tried to tell him, about things not mattering to him, and he began to grasp why Harry let things roll off of him. Because if things didn't matter, he didn't have to hide, didn't have to be afraid.

"Harry, don't let this thing matter to you. Let me take the burden. It is my job as a parent to worry over you. You must learn to let go of your fears and hand them off to me."

"But I've never done that before. I don't know how."

Severus reached forward and pulled his son into a tight embrace. "Like this Harry. Just let go. Let it all go."

And suddenly Harry felt the warmth of his father's embrace, both in his mind and in the real world, and knew what it was to truly be able to rely on another person... to be able to rely on a parent. It was one thing to believe you knew what it was to have another person, and to actually know for certain that you did. And he was suddenly sitting on a cold stone floor sobbing and being held by his father, Draco looking on in shock.

"It's ok, let me handle the burdens Harry. That's not your job anymore."

"I know," Harry said. "I finally know."