Trust.

A basis of reliance, faith and hope.

The simultaneous foundation and bane of society.

People say it is important to trust one another. People are idiots. They trusted me, didn't they? I trusted people once too… look where it's gotten me. More importantly, look at yourself… who do you trust? To whom do you give a knife and turn around, trusting them not to use it? I've played the lapdog… I've held the knife, letting the blade slice me before I'd let it touch the very people who handed it to me, letting my own blood stain and dull it so that it would not hurt them. What good did that do? How long can a person hear their blood drip before red engulfs their vision? When does one finally realize that all the pleasant courtesies and praise are nothing but empty words, the cheapest way to keep you holding that blade, tightening your grip, killing yourself so that they can live?

I have.

It took me four years but I did it.

The only regret I have is missing the opportunity to take that blade, launch it, and twist it before pulling it out again. I'd love to have done it. I'd love to even be able to tell you I had an epiphany after which I fought my way free, a blaze in my eyes as I broke out of the bonds they encased upon me…

I didn't.

I doubt anyone can claim that they have…

The bonds are simply too strong. The few that might have done so were smart enough not to take the blade at all, not fall into the gilded trap. As for the rest of us, we only break free by becoming useless idiots. We are unceremoniously tossed aside with the dishwater, stripped of what feeble dignity we still possess.

We do not leave but are left, abandoned, pushed away.

He left me. The one I would and did face death for… faced pain… faced life. What did he do? He ran. Where was his Gryffindor courage I ask, where was it then? Can he face dragons, Dementors, Death Eaters, Voldemort for Merlin's sake, only to quiver at the thought of facing life? Is the chance of death and danger truly more frightening than its very presence?

How could he? How could he leave me and Hermione, never looking back at all? Training… that's their petty excuse. Training my ass! What good would his mighty training add that cannot be added here? He is safest here, after all… or so they say. What's this school lack? Physical training? He could easily get someone to push him… as if Quidditch wasn't enough. Dueling? I bet Snape would love to have a go at him, Remus… Remus can duel- or Sirius. Dumbledore could get Harry someone… he could pull him out of classes even but still remain at school, Merlin knows this place is too big for its own good. We don't as much as walk by the western wing… that's gotta be big enough to play Quidditch in! And what of regular classes? Do they plan to make him take those later like some retard or do they not even care about his wizarding education? Not to sound like my dear 'Mione or anything, but really, missing a year (or more) isn't something easy to make up. I know I can't wait to have the blasted Underage magic thing taken off my bloody wand. It's got to bug him to only be able to use Magic at school or some life-or-death situation- right? To not even be able to live in the very world he is destined to save from utter damnation…

And if the training is soimportant… what of it? What of us, Hermione and me? We're usually right there with him after all… the three of us, so why does only he get the bloody training? Are the rest of us nothing; chopped liver? He didn't even try to get Dumbledore to let us go with him! I could barely stand it… at times I've wondered whether Harry considered me a friend, an ally, or simply a lackey. Was I to Harry what, say, Goyle was to Malfoy? Did the Slytherin's goons think they were actually his friends?

He probably does… did. How else could he leave us like that? I've been so blind, Merlin!

Then again, I always have done the expected, he probably figured out all my buttons by second year. One look at my family would show anyone where I'd end up, after all. And of course, no one looks at me. I don't stand out; not in the world, not in school, not even in my own family. I'm not Bill or Charlie, I'm not head boy Percy, I'm not the wild and crazy twins… just Ron. Simple Ron. Red haired, freckled-faced, hand-me-down wearing Ron. What use to anyone am I? I'm not brainy like 'Mione, not famous like Harry, not rich like Malfoy, not strong like his goons, I'm just Ron.

Well, they'll see… I won't stay 'just Ron' for long. I'll show them, I'll show them all! I'm going to break from the path set for me by their lot, I'll make a name for myself and I'm going to get them all back for what they did. Every last one of them. All of them. Drastic? Yes… I suppose, but then again, someone has to force retribution upon them. All of them. And since no one else has the balls, I guess that someone will have to be me.

On whom, you ask? Whom? I'll tell you who. Harry, for deserting us all, for running away. Dumbledore, for pushing Harry into it, pushing everyone really… sneaky manipulator that. My parents, of course, for more reasons than I can name… my dad mostly. And Hermione. Yeah, my 'Mione. She's the one who pulled me into this. She's the one who hurt me most… I loved her, really did, but she always liked Harry… not me. Then, when he left I thought- but no- she runs right to that new guy's side, that Slytherin'sside… Snape's side! She's so excited by this world too, the magic. She thinks she knows so much yet is so hopelessly blind about the underlying workings of it all, the ones that push us all to do what we do. I bet you Snape's just using her… playing her or some such shit…

That's my one strength. I know the undercurrents, I can see the alternative motives of people, I can feel them. I've seen how similar Dumbledore and Voldemort are, finally old enough to understand what my eyes have seen for so long. I'm actually starting to see the differences less and less. That's what scares me.

I can so easily see myself turn from one to the other. I know not if I ought to feel disgust towards myself, them, or the entire freaking world. I strongly believe in the latter. All the things I've once hated about Voldemort I slowly recognize on Dumbledore- same things wearing different cloaks. Aurors and Death Eaters: both kill, both die, both torture and both claim utter superiority. All is gray; there is no white or black. The world is hostile; there is no safety, no peace. The excuses they make for fighting are just that- excuses, no real substance of any kind on either side. Both say they fight for the good of all wizards, both failing to add that they fight for their idea of what is the common good. One thinks this entails the protection of muggles as if they were some defenseless devolved version of mighty wizards while the other just wants them totally isolated or preferably purged from our midst. Both find them inferior, one as a subject of study like animals in a zoo, the other a nuisance.

You think I'm crazy… I know you do… the problem is, I'm not. Think back to what you have ever learned of Voldemort… who'd you learn it from? Dumbledore? Flitwick? McGonagall? The Ministry? Harry himself? Quite an array of sources then… totally unbiased and variegated. True, they all most likely said the exact same stuff, but that only makes it true, right? After all, how can the great infallible Dumbledore be wrong?

Who have I asked you say, how is the other side's story so much different you ask? I'll tell you. You won't like it, but I will.

The people you've talked to say his ultimate goal is total domination of the wizarding world. His people believe they fight to free it from the self-righteous Ministry and overbearing Dumbledore. have you honestly ever liked the Ministry? I know you haven't; not even Dumbledore likes it! How many have asked Dumbledore to take over as Minister? How many would make him a dictator if only he agreed? Is it so strange that Voldemort's followers want him to do the same? Is it their fault he is actually willing to take on the position? And let's not forget Dumbledore has followers of his own… his 'Order'… do they not kill? Do they not work outside the Ministry? Do they not go against it? Is that not what Death Eaters do?

Does the Ministry not raid the houses of suspected Death Eaters, do they not destroy them in order to find supposed secret chambers where one would be able to store 'dark objects'? Do they not cause millions of galleons in damage, searching for these chambers, destroying irreplaceable family treasures and ancient heirlooms in the foul name of the law? And who exactly determines what a 'dark object' is? Do they not condemn people to that hell on earth with no real proof or reason? No you say? What of Sirius? He was of a dark family after all… he had to be dark, right? Why bother with a trial at all, right? Quite upsetting thought, isn't it? Or did you really think only prejudices lie on the damned supposedly 'Dark' side? Does the 'Light' not persecute werewolves for being werewolves? Do they not do all but lock them in a zoo? They are inhuman, after all, dark creatures them… dangerous… just look at Remus! Thank Merlin the benevolent ministry all but kicked him out of his teaching job… and the people too… such articulate letters sent to him. I'm so glad he's gone… what poor, poor souls we were while he taught us, lived in fear I tell you, didn't learn a thing!

And while we're on the topic, our impostor Auror teacher wasn't bad either. We learned a lot from him, so much more than from the great Lockhart or our other 'Ministry Certified' professors. At least he taught us what we'd really need, not some bull busy work; reading magic theory, how to undo a tickle charm… or the poor excuse for dueling Lockhart did…

I take it back. Harry does need better defense teachers than what we get… my only problem is why can't we all get the good teachers? Why just him? From what I've heard, Voldemort won't let any Death Eaters out on a raid until he's seen their skills are up to His standards. That's smart, no matter what point of view you take… whether He does it for their safety or to ensure they don't get captured easily (and thus divulge secrets) doesn't matter, the bottom line is, it works. It works better than Auror training, though even they've stepped it up a bit…

At least the Dark side is honest… really! Instead of playing around the law, sneaking their agenda in while trying to fool everyone, they just do it, say it and mean it. No bloody politics involved! Okay, a little perhaps, but compared to the amount the light uses, their amount is virtually non-existent.

Now you all probably thing I've spent too much with the likes of Malfoy… I didn't. I still hate him. Where did I get all this from then? I'll tell you. It's a secret though, so don't turn all noble like and scream it to everyone you see… I'm an Animagus. Not a full one yet, just starting… so far I can change my head. Sounds silly? I know, but somehow, when I do that, I can do what Harry can! I can talk to snakes! It was hard to do at first, guess it's easier if you have it naturally like him, but I can still understand them! It doesn't sound like English though, so it's defiantly different from Harry's gift, or less developed, but it's there. And oh, do the snakes like to talk! They aren't all for Voldemort either! I met one that said she spoke with Harry at times, pretty little thing she was too, never liked Voldemort, that one. These two other ones though, oh, I never knew snakes could be so… smart I guess, opinionated at least. They introduced me to this other one, all golden scales and ruby eyes, she used to belong to a Death Eater… knew more about them than a house elf, and she was quite willing to tell. She showed me some good books too, told me the titles anyway… dare I admit to finding reading interesting? 'Mione would freak… honest she would!

I'm getting off topic though… sorry. It was nice to get that off my chest though, really was. If you're one of the people who need to find a lesson or moral value in every story though, here it is; Trust oughtn't be given lightly, the world is dark and wars are never between good and evil. Consider this your warning… the choices people throw at you range from life and death, 'good' and 'bad', Light and Dark. But the true choice, the only real choice there is, is whether to fight at all.

As far as I go, I'll fight.

I'll fight them all;

Their allegiances,

Their prejudices,

Their traditions,

Their wands,

Their minds,

Their world.