Simple Wisps of Snow by silvermoonfae

His eyes traced the amazing Celtic knot-work on the wood panelling. Back and forth, back and forth. Every grain, every knot in the wood and every shade of colour embedded in the back of his emerald eyes. Back and forth, back and forth, following the intricate plaits and swirls, following the magic that flowed through the very wood of the panelling. It was mesmerizing, the never-ending pattern it made. And it was much more interesting than his current class. He wouldn't have been able to focus much anyhow. He was becoming increasingly tired because of his strange dreams he was having that were frustratingly repetitive.

"POTTER!"

Abruptly Harry shot to attention, flinching almost unnoticeably. Looks like McGonagell noticed his lapse in concentration.

"Since you seem to think you do not need to pay attention, Mr Potter, I would like you to transfigure this small pebble into a goblet, being respectful of size, texture and shape." she stated primly.

Harry sighed quietly. He had long ago studied this type of transfiguration, earlier that year, when he spent copious amounts of time in the library. In fact he had studied ahead in all of his sixth year and even began his seventh year texts. With a wave of his wand and without incantation, the small button like pebble morphed into an elegant solid gold goblet, with beautiful Celtic knot-work gilded into it, identical to that of the wood panelling he had been staring at for almost an hour. On the front was the school crest, with the four house representatives entwined and the school motto, engraved on an elegant scroll beneath the crest.

An astonished silence hung in the air, of which Harry took no notice of. He just returned to staring at the patterns again, lost in thought once more.

And so he missed the open mouth gaping of Professor McGonagell, the jealous stare of Granger or the murderous glances of Weasley, for taking the attention off his precious Granger.

But Neville didn't. Glancing around, he saw most of everybody was in shock. He made eye contact with those within his small group, nodding slightly as if his suspicions had been confirmed. He was shocked that Granger and Weasley showed such hostility. Who knew such viciousness could develop in such a short amount time and separation. Then again, both had very high opinions of themselves and despite what Weasley sometimes claimed, Harry had always been the modest, quiet one of the group. He was amused that Harry was completely oblivious to this.

The bell rang a second later and without a second glance backwards, Harry pulled his bag over his shoulder and was out the door calmly. Neville gave a short bark of laughter at the still frozen class and he and his little group followed Harry, all the while chatting animatedly.

P&S P&S P&S P&S P&S

At lunch time, Harry was again preparing himself for the chaos within. He was becoming better at Occlumency, but he still hadn't succeeded in controlling his power, just in dimming it slightly but that still helped immensely. But he was no closer to controlling it, figuring out why he had been given this gift, why his life was messed up and complicated or even why he had those strange dreams.

He blew a deep breath from his lips and rubbed his eyes ferociously. He was tired. No he was weary, just plain and simply weary. He changed his mind and burst out of the Entrance Hall doors. He scurried along the side of the castle, ignoring the snow flurries and the cold until he was at a secluded section, facing away from the usual hustle and bustle of students and so out of sight. He slid down the rough stone work of the side of the castle, pulled his knees back into himself and bowed his head, pulling slightly at his hair, relishing in the small tingles of pain in his scalp.

He felt open, vulnerable, like his innermost secrets were exposed for all to see and he didn't like it. So much had happened in the last few days. He was overwhelmed. He felt a sob build up in his chest. He just couldn't take this pain anymore. He tried to suppress it, he hadn't cried since the age of three. He wasn't going to start now.

He reigned himself in, composed himself and dug into his pocket, searching for his blade, his lifeline. This was HIS life! Grasping the ebony sleek handle, he made to pull it from the depths of his pocket, before dropping it, as a potion stained hand settled on his shoulder, startling him. He couldn't hide the flinch, but the Potions Master kept a light grasp on his shoulder, until he slid down the wall himself, settling beside the distraught boy. They sat in a comfortable silence, the professor lending his silent support to the child as he calmed down.

"What’s wrong, Harry? " he questioned quietly, not daring to look him in the eye, but staring out over the serene lake. He surreptitiously cast a warming charm on the locality and if Harry had noticed he didn't comment. He just seemed to sink a little further upon himself.

Snape knew he had to be patient and calm. "Please Harry, what has you so distraught to think about ..." he gestured to his pocket, currently hiding his knife.

They didn't need any more words to know what the other meant. But Harry decided to evade the question by asking one of his own. " How did you know I was here?" Harry didn't turn around, in fact he barely moved at all, no unnecessary movements or fidgeting. Probably something instilled by his relations which had become a lifelong habit. Snape decided to play along for now.

"I was late coming up to lunch, due to a potion I have brewing which was at a very delicate stage and couldn't be left until it was stable. I was just coming up from the dungeons when I..." he paused, trying to phrase it delicately, "...I noticed you leaning up against the doors to the Great Hall. You seemed...upset quite suddenly. And so I followed." 'So you wouldn't do any damage to yourself' hung in the air between the despite it not bring said.

Another lengthy silence, as Harry absorbed the information that the professor had relayed. He felt like he owed the professor something. Perhaps that was why he decided to open up for the first time in his life.

"I ...I felt just so tired. Not physically, but mentally. It just hit me all at once and I felt like I needed to escape. " it was hard trying to formulate what he felt into words. " I don't know, it's just hard to explain."

Snape cocked his head to the side but didn't look at the child sitting beside him. "I know it's hard. So I just want you to tell me one thing, no matter how small or big, significant or insignificant it is that affected you."

Though Snape didn't see, Harry had screwed up his face in concentration. In all honesty he couldn't think of anything that had bothered him that he would consider insignificant and he wasn't going to lie. He knew he got the better end of the deal, telling his professor just one thing of his choice to discuss instead of everything being aired at the one time.

"I suppose Ron and Hermione." he whispered.

Snape frowned, wondering what they had done. As far as he knew they had completely abandoned and ignored Harry for the most part, for no reason at all. In fact he knew that Harry just insisted to others that they had naturally drifted apart. They had matured.

"In transfiguration today, I managed a particular piece of transfiguration that left Hermione jealous and hateful and Ron throwing me murderous glances. I don't know what I did to deserve their hostility. I can accept that we've just drifted in a natural progression apart, though it still hurts. But this just makes me wonder if they were ever my friends in the first place."

Harry was surprised. And though he wasn't ready to talk about anything else, once he started, he couldn't help but pour out all the details of that particular bothersome incident. There were no interruptions, no accusations, no sympathy. He just listened. It was more than he could ever hope for. "I just wish I was born simple, with none of these complications. Just...just normal!" he ended quite bitterly, unknowingly echoing his Aunt's and Uncle's opinions, seeing himself as abnormal or a 'freak'.

"Things are rarely simple and in any case, it would be boring if we were all made from the same mould, happy and cheerful and simple." he sounded like a sage. Merlin he sounded like Albus. He shuddered internally. "As for your former friends, I suggest you don't bother them unless they bother you. They are not worth thinking of if they have used you in such a way. Whatever is their problem, I can assure you it is NOT your fault. Everyone knows you're always loyal to them to a fault, most Hufflepuff of you if you ask me."

Harry nodded, mulling over what Snape had said. He was correct if course, but it was hard to overcome these certain notions that had been drilled into his head from a young age. All the same he felt lighter. Not as desperate as before. Just goes to show, no matter how small the problem, it can still make a huge difference to just let it go.

"Harry?"

"Hmmm?" he replied absently.

"I want you to promise me one thing, will you?" Snape inquired.

Harry didn't reply straight away, but when he did, Snape was surprised and approved of the very Slytherin answer he received. "I never promise something unless I know the parameters and conditions set."

"Wise decision Harry. Then please just consider this; whenever you feel like you want to hurt yourself in any way, whether it's just scratching or pulling your hair to cutting yourself, I want you to come to me. Whatever hour of day or night it is, just come. And every time you come, we'll just pick one thing to talk about that bothers you. I won't push you to pick any particular subjects, as long as you freely talk about one thing. And I will put a charm on your blade to let me know if you have used it on yourself so I know when you need help. " he let Harry digest that before continuing.

"The alternative would be to confiscate your knife and put you in isolation, until a trustworthy healer could be contacted. Please Harry, I don’t want to do that to you, but I can't in good faith, if you can't promise me, leave you with a harmful object as such in your state of mind." Snape tried to keep the pleading put of his voice. For the first time he looked directly into those haunted emerald eyes, trying to impart the logic of his decision.

Harry didn't like it. He didn't like talking even if he knew it was for his own good, and made him feel better. But he liked the second option even less. Again, he knew he was being given a lot of leeway and trust by his professor, as it were the better end of the bargain.

"Fair enough professor. But I only promise because the first deal was a he'll of a lot better than the second." Harry informed. He dug into his pockets without another word and handed the professor s beautifully gilded black and silver pen knife. It had silver dragons wrapped around the end of the ebony handle, with emerald jewels for eyes. It truly was a breath-taking piece of work.

The required charm done, he handed it back to Harry. Changing the subject away from dangerous waters he asked "how are you adjusting to seeing magic?"

Harry's eyes darkened slightly. Perhaps it was the wrong line of questioning after all. But then he just became weary once more. " it's getting there professor. At some instances it's harder to cope than others. But it's getting there and definitely improving."

A bell rang in the distance, signalling the end of lunch. Their little chat was over. With a sigh he pulled himself from the snowy earth, the professor alongside him doing the same, delicate flakes swirling around their heads as he made their way back to the entrance. As he stepped through, a hand stopped him, "Even if you don't feel the need to hurt yourself and you just want to talk, don't hesitate to come to me. And that's not part of the deal."

With a swoosh, robes billowing, Snape disappeared down a dark stairway heading towards the dungeons. Leaving Harry with a warm fuzzy feeling, just knowing someone was truly looking out for him.

P&S P&S P&S P&S P&S

Back where Harry and Snape had just left, a tear rolled down the face of the unintentional eavesdropper. She truly didn't know how bad things were with Harry and how things had escaped their notice and control so quickly. But she was glad that Severus was there for him, for Merlin only knows, that he probably would have left this world by his own hand if Severus wasn't.

She really hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but she only had wanted to talk to the boy about his marvellous piece of transfiguration. Clearly she had gotten more than she bargained for, but nevertheless she was glad she did. For she now knew what she was dealing with, and vowed not to make another mistake as such again.

Wrapping her red cloak close to her, Professor McGonagell strode determinedly into the warmth of Hogwarts, the echoes of her promise hanging in the air.