Of course, being Harry Potter, things never went his way. It also meant that being in the spotlight had a tendency to make a horrible situation worse than imaginable; case in point:

“WHAT!?” Harry cried as he looked at the heading on the Prophet.

Chosen One, or Lewd One? by Rita Skeeter. And of course, there was a picture of him and Ginny in St. Mungo’s—the expression on her face told it all—but better yet was the picture of her running away crying as the Healer (who just so happened to be a well-known specialist in paternity detection magic…figures…) nearly fell over her while holding the door open. The poor man had tried to defend him, “No comment” was all Skeeter had as a quote from him, but that of course made things even worse.

“Dang it!” Harry slammed the paper on the table as a horde of owls, all with bright red envelopes tied to their legs, began pecking at his window. “Oh no! If you even think I’m letting you in here, then you’ve got a WHOLE other think coming!” Harry yelled and snatched the curtains closed, warding his windows against the entourage of angry birds.

“Daddy!” Lily cried and ran up to hug Harry, as was their usual routine. “Good morning! Where’s mummy?” Lily looked around the kitchen.

Crap. “Umm, mummy’s not here right now, kiddo.” Lily’s face fell. “But I made waffles?” Harry said, making a goofy face that Lily laughed at.

“Strawberry or blueberry?”

“Both, of course! What else would I make?” Harry mock asked.

“Just checking!” Lily said and happily sat down to eat her waffles, as Harry heard crying from the upstairs.

“Okay, Lils, I have to go upstairs for a moment and check on someone. Oh, and why don’t you go and eat in the TV room for me? There’s been a bit of a mix up and I need you to stay away from the windows as much as possible. Thanks!” Harry said and kissed the top of Lily’s forehead, not listening to what she said in his urgency to take care of Sev and make sure the little fiend wasn’t eating paint flecks just to spite Harry.

“HARRY JAMES POTTER!” Harry heard Mrs. Weasley scream from the fireplace. Harry slapped his forehead and dragged his hand down his face. Of all times for his mother-in-law to give him a talking to why now? Harry went to the fireplace and tried not to be too afraid of the only maternal figure he had ever known.

“Mrs. Weasley, I can explain, but first I have to—" But Harry was cut off before he could say anything more.

“I don’t believe it! Is that a baby I hear?” Mrs. Weasley looked incredulous.

“I know, it looks bad, but I promise, I can explain—"

“Then explain now!” Mrs. Weasley demanded.

“I can’t—the baby, he just woke up and I have to—"

“You have to what? Break my daughter’s heart further? Create a new scandal!? Betray MY trust!?”

“MRS. WEASLEY! I DIDN’T CHEAT ON GINNY!” Harry roared and felt guilty at the incredulous look on his adopted mom’s face. It wasn’t her fault that everything decided to go wrong. “Look, I’m sorry, just step on through, let me take care of the baby and I’ll explain everything immediately after. I promise.” Harry begged.

The silence seemed unbearable.

“Okay.” Mrs. Weasley finally acquiesced and stepped through the floo, still glaring at Harry.

“Stay in here. It’s best if the owls think that everyone in here has gone. They have a tendency not to stick around too long knowing they’ve got a time bomb strapped to their legs.” Harry gave a weak smile—rubbing his forehead subconsciously with the memory of past hate mail—and went up the stairs to the Al’s room where Sev was causing a ruckus.

“There, there. I’m here.” Sev made an ugly face as Harry tried to pick him up. “Careful, your face is going to get stuck like that; I know from experience.” Harry warned, trying to disentangle the boy’s hands from Harry’s hair.

It was quite a process.

“Once a git, always a git.” Harry muttered as Sev puked all over Harry’s back. “I bet you were saving that just for me, weren’t you?” Sev clapped and giggled.

Harry put some fresh clothes on the baby, cleaned off his own back and searched for the papers the Healer gave him. “There!” Harry cried and grabbed them from the desk. “Come on now, up you get.” Harry hoisted the baby—who was beginning to slide out of Harry’s grip—up and even though it was awkward, he managed to get everyone downstairs safe and sound (well, Sev, the malicious little brat, had yanked out some more hairs and socked Harry in the nose a few times, but beyond that everything was fine).

“Here. Read this.” Harry handed the papers to Mrs. Weasley, who looked at him pensively, occasionally glancing at the baby—who had a handful of shiny black hairs poking out of his head (though he was sure that they were from pulling them out of Harry’s own head, not from any of the follicles in Sn…Sev’s head). Harry fought the desire to roll his eyes and instead tried bouncing the fussy baby who apparently had made it his life’s ambition to climb on top of Harry’s shoulder (to pull out more hairs, or course) and fall to his death.

“I promise you, things will make more…well, scratch that. Things will make a lot less sense when you read that, but it’ll throw me a more favorable light.” Mrs. Weasley frowned and sniffed haughtily.

“Fine.” She said sniffily and opened up the envelope. Harry waited anxiously, hoping that she’d believe him. He may be frustrated with her, but she had been the closest thing he’d ever had to a mother. Harry felt the time pass by, slowly and sluggishly, mocking his anxiety as Mrs. Weasley read.

Suddenly, her eyes bulged. “What!?” Mrs. Weasley looked up at Harry, then to Sev, and then to Harry again, re-reading the papers multiple times. Harry started getting hopeful and bounced Sev even harder.

“Yeah…Exactly.” Harry said and tried to rub his hand through his hair again, only to receive a hard pinch from Sev. “OW! Will you bloody stop it!?” Harry scolded the baby whose bottom lip began to tremble, eyes wide and bright in the perfect picture of innocence.

“Harry! That’s no way to talk to a baby!” Mrs. Weasley reprimanded him and stood up to hold Sev; who—being the snotty little two-faced traitor he was—instantly became the sweetest little angel known to man when Mrs. Weasley was looking. “See? You have to be gentle and loving…”

“Says the woman who moments ago and wanted to kill me…” Harry muttered to himself, glaring at Sev who smirked while Mrs. Weasley cooed and caressed him, gently rocking back and forth. The demon even started sucking his thumb! Even Harry was starting to fall for it!

Mrs. Weasley suddenly blushed as red as her hair. “Oh, Harry! I’m so sorry! I’ve gone and done it again, haven’t I?” She said ashamedly, referring to fourth year when she gave Hermione the cold shoulder.

“It’s alright.” Harry sighed in relief. Well, that hurdle was over with.

“But Harry, why aren’t any of Ginny’s things here anymore?” Mrs. Weasley asked, gesturing one handedly to the barren house.

Or not.

“Yeah, ‘bout that…” Harry said, scratching his head while Sev clapped and cheered at Harry’s discomfort.

Git.

At the end of the day, and after every Weasley in Europe stampeded his floo—except, of course, the one he was married to—Harry was tired, but he knew he still needed to talk to his kids…

Kids…

Speaking of kids, where was Lily? Had Ginny taken her too? That would be a rotten thing to do, but Harry was certain that she would have at least written a note of some sort—plus, Harry remembered being greeted that very morning by Lily, just after the paper, so unless if Gin had snuck in…

“Lils! Come here! Where are you?” Harry called, but there was no answer. It was loads easier to get around the house now that Harry had his hands free—Mrs. Weasley let him borrow her pouch carrier thingee that she’d kept because of “Sentimental Value.” He knew he looked like an utter ponce (the thing was purple with little pastel pink, blue, and  green hippogriffs dancing, and yes, actually dancing across the front) but the convenience made it worth it, Harry justified to himself as he bent down and looked under the table; sometimes she took naps under there. “Lils, where—" Harry heard what he thought was a sniffling noise coming from the stairs. Suddenly, he had a hunch where his daughter was, but took out his wand anyways and quietly whispered ”Point me” to it, laying it flat on his palm.

It twisted and fluttered for a bit, until it stopped dead center, pointing straight to the cupboard under the stairs. Ever since he had a heart-to-heart with his children about being kind to those who weren’t popular, and telling the teacher if they thought someone was being bullied, his children had found his anecdote of living in the cupboard under the stairs at the Dursley’s fascinating. After a while, Al and James had grown out of that phase, but Lily still found it comforting in times of stress.

“Should’ve known.” Harry whispered to himself. He looked down at Sev, who was cooperating for once and being quiet—big black eyes staring up into his own green ones—and crept over to the cupboard where the sounds of sniffling and tears increased.

Harry felt horrible.

With all the excitement of his life’s latest curveball (including but not limited to a bloody nose, two black eyes and what Harry suspected was a broken rib due to the rash actions of certain red headed men), he hadn’t taken the time to talk to his daughter and explain where her mother was, who the new baby is and why everyone was bursting into their house, yelling things he never wanted his daughter to hear.

Harry sat down—a highly awkward thing to do with a baby strapped to his chest—outside the door and gently knocked to let her know he was outside. “Lils, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to explain everything to you yet, but I’m here right now whenever you’re ready.” The sniffles stopped and Harry could almost hear the gears turning in her head.

“Y-you promise?” She asked timidly, hiccoughing a few times.

“Yes ma’am.” He said and he heard her give a weak chuckle.

“Okay…” She replied and the door began to open. Her eyes—red and puffy as they were—took in the baby and it was obvious that she made a big effort to be as quiet as possible. Harry looked down and smiled at Sev.

Who knew even children of the devil looked so cute when they were fast asleep?

Harry looked back at Lily who looked nervous and patted the floor right next to him. “It’s okay as long as we’re quiet.” He said softly. She nodded and sat down right next to him, leaning against him and wrapping her arms around his, resting her head on his shoulder.

“There’s going to be some changes going on for us, Lils. Some good, some bad, most I don’t even understand, but…I think we can manage, don’t you?” Lily looked up at him with wide eyes and nodded. Harry rubbed the baby pouch. “This is the man your older brother was named after.”

Her eyes scrunched up in concentration. “James?”

Harry chuckled. “Nope. This here is Sev. Severus Snape.” Understanding showed on her face, which seconds later clouded over with confusion again.

“But I thought you said he got bit by that snake thing? That Naggynana or something like that?”

“Nagini, and I’m not sure how he got like this, but there’s a lot of things I don’t know right now. As for your mother…we’ve had a disagreement and I’m not sure when she’s coming back.”  Lily nodded sadly. She had guessed as much since she had seen her mother take more than the usual amount whenever she went to her meetings. “Also, we’re going to have to be very careful for the next few weeks, months maybe, because…well, you remember when James told someone that I gave him a black eye because he was mad that I wouldn’t get him a new broomstick?” Lily nodded and shuddered. That had been a horrible time and James still felt bad about it. She remembered all the scary red envelopes that screamed and spat acid on her father. That day, when James had tried to apologize, her father simply laughed it off and said that it was fine because now no one could see his lightning bolt scar.

They still couldn’t.

“Well, I’m not sure if things will get that bad, but things are going to get a little rough. We might have to go back to the rock house for a while again.” Lily nodded wisely again. It hadn’t been so bad—for her at least. She liked sitting at the edge, watching the waves crash against the rock.

“But just remember that I love you, and even if she isn’t showing it very well right now, your mother does too.”