When he woke, he saw Snape at his side.

The man was fast asleep. Harry slowly sat up, looking around the room. Sirius and Remus were asleep in their own chairs as well. He glanced back at Snape, wondering if he should wake the man – and how. He didn’t want to startle the man like he had the last time.

Harry pushed the covers off himself. He slipped to the edge of the bed and leaned forward, putting a light hand on Snape’s arm. The man’s eyes popped open, his body jolting. He stilled when he saw Harry.

Ah, well. Failed.

There was a loud snort from Sirius. He readjusted himself in his sleep. Snape flicked his wand, casting a silencing spell around them. He let out a low breath, staring at Harry.

“How long have I been out?” asked Harry.

“For a few hours or so.”

“What happened?”

Snape sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It was partly our fault you reacted as such, but your magic retaliated,” he said. “I’ve discovered part of your problem: your magic usage drains your blood.”

“Are you sure?” asked Harry, his eyes widening.

“Not one hundred percent, no,” said Snape with a shake of his head. “We’d have to do some tests with Madam Pomfrey, but with what I have observed… This is the most likely answer. Using magic drains you. It’s possible even when Hogwarts speak through you this happens as well.”

The quill…

It was hard to believe something so small like a quill could do so much damage. The other students could have problems, too.

“Can it be fixed?” asked Harry. “Didn’t the quill do this to me?”

Snape’s lips thinned. “I’m not sure if this is something that can be healed,” he said with another tired sigh, leaning forward on his knees. “It’s a strange affliction. Unprecedented.”

“The other students,” said Harry, his chest expanding with a breath. “We’ll have to make sure all the other students are all right. We can’t let this go unnoticed.”

A strange look entered Snape’s eyes. A touch of a smile lifted his lips. He nodded. “Of course,” he said with approval in his tone. “You’re taking this rather well,” he added.

“I guess… I knew something was wrong,” said Harry with a shrug. He looked down at his knees. “I was never sure if I would ever be able to do magic the same again.” He looked up at Snape. “But I know we’ll find something to work. It’s not the end.”

There was a moment of silence.

“You have to understand,” whispered Snape. “Once you learn how to control your magic, this will affect how much you will succeed in school. Perhaps you’ll be able to handle one class of actively using magic, but certainly not the whole day. You can’t live on blood replenishers for the rest of your life. You’ll be able to use a small amount of magic and we’ll be able to test what your limits are, but…”

There was another deep sigh, one that sagged his entire body. It was as if a burden weighed on Snape’s shoulders. 

“Harry, it might be the end for you and magic. We might have to reevaluate your future… here in the Wizarding World.”

Harry stilled.

What?

Leave this world? Leave Hogwarts? Leave his friends? Leave the one thing that gave his life a sense of purpose and future? Was Snape really suggesting that?

“You are a target,” said Snape in a soft voice. “And should you go against the Dark Lord, you’ll kill yourself before he has the chance to do so himself. Your track record with the Dark Lord would suggest your due for another encounter soon.”

“Are you saying I should leave everything behind?” asked Harry. “Just because I’m a target and can’t do magic right now?”

Snape ran a hand over his face. “No, I’m not… I’m not necessarily saying that. I… worry for your safety. I am invested in your wellbeing. I am your father now,” he whispered, a gentle light entering his eyes. “It would be unnatural for your parent to not be concerned over the fact that the Dark Lord wants you dead.”

Warmth glowed inside his heart.

But he couldn’t abandon the school, not now – not when Hogwarts herself depended on him. He was Headmaster for a reason now, wasn’t he?

“I can’t leave,” said Harry; his clasped hands tightened. “I can’t leave now. I’m Headmaster of Hogwarts because that’s what she wants. She hasn’t told me it’s time yet. There are still so many things I have to do. Even if…” He let out a steady breath. “Even if I can’t do magic the same any more, I still have enough power to make change here. I can do things that no one else can do.”

“I know,” said Snape softly. “Which is why I haven’t forced it. I know you’re in a position of power, one that you shouldn’t relinquish just yet either. If you leave, there will be a power vacuum and the Ministry will use that to their advantage. If they seize Hogwarts, then the war is over. We’re done.”

A shiver went down his spine. “I can still be a potions master, can’t I?” Harry asked with a grin, trying to lighten the mood “It is an art without foolish wand waving, right?”

Snape’s mouth twitched. “I dare say you can, no matter what happens.”

Thank Merlin for small things.

They fell into silence for a few moments. Harry bit his lower lip. The man hadn’t mentioned what Harry had said earlier. Was he going to ignore it, avoid it like he’d avoided things in the past?

“You’re not mad… are you?” asked Harry.

“About what?”

Harry looked down at the floor. “I know you said I could call you Severus, but… I don’t want to call you that.”

There was a sharp intake of breath.

“I guess I should’ve asked beforehand?” whispered Harry, peeking up through his fringe. “I just… Ron doesn’t call his father by his first name, so…”

“I am not your biological father,” breathed Snape.

“Well, good,” said Harry, rather impishly. “Cause then you’d have some major explaining to do.”

Snape choked out a laugh. His expression flashed from amused incredulity to gentle pride. “I do believe, Mr. Potter, that you made a good joke.”

“Thank you, thank you,” said Harry with a mock bow. His smile slipped away slowly. “Can I?”

“Can you what?”

“Can I call you Dad?”

There was a long moment of silence. The man was rigid in his chair. But something softened in him. His chest rose once before slowly falling, his body relaxing.

“Are you not already doing that?”

“Yes, but…”

“Harry—” A callous hand rested over Harry’s hands. He looked up at the man. Snape took a deep breath. “If that is what you want, then I would be honored to answer to that.”

Harry smiled.

That large, warm hand squeezed his hands. It was weighted with protection, with hope. The moment was short, however – too short for Harry. There was a loud noise from Sirius before he jolted awake. He gasped, slapping Remus on the arm and startling the man out of sleep.

“He’s awake—Harry!” cried Sirius. “You’re awake! Are you sure you should be sitting up?”

Snape withdrew his hand. The warmth disappeared. Sirius rushed to Harry, hugging him. Harry looked over his shoulder at Snape; he gave him a smile.

Dad.

Snape lowered the silencing charm around them and slid his wand into the sleeve of his robes. Sirius let go of Harry, but stood in front of him, blocking his view of Snape. Harry sighed internally. They still had a long way to go, didn’t they?

“I’m okay,” said Harry, looking up at him.

“You’re not okay,” said Sirius, his brows furrowed. “You fainted because of, what, blood loss? What’s going on here?” He knelt down in front of Harry, looking up at him with intense eyes. “Listen, if he’s hurt you in any way, you’re safe here. I won’t—”

“Sirius!” snapped Remus. “Enough, we’re in the wrong. Severus cares for Harry, like we do. I think we’ve done enough fighting. You don’t want to hurt Harry, right? Please leave it alone.”

Harry trembled.

They’re still fighting this…

It had taken Snape time, short as it was, to learn and understand Harry. It had taken sickness for Snape to find out about his past with the Dursleys. It’d been so frightening for another person to see his weakness, to see his hurt. Opening his fragile heart to another human being, that was far scarier than facing Voldemort without a wand.

It had taken time, hours, minutes, seconds of interactions and living with the other to learn these things.

This wasn’t something that had been built between him and his honorary uncles.

Harry buried his face into his hands, hunching over slightly.

I can do this. I can open up. I am safe with them. They’re not going to throw me away.

“I guess we should talk about what’s happened,” said Harry, looking up. “Can you sit down? There’s a lot.” Once they were seated, Harry dragged a hand over his face. He drew in a deep breath. “Do you know anything about what happened to me near the start of the semester? Did Dumbledore say anything to you guys?”

Sirius and Remus shared a hesitant glance between each other. They shook their heads, while Remus said, “No, he didn’t mention anything.”

“I’ll be quick. Malfoy threw a curse at me—”

“What?! That—”

Remus swatted Sirius’ leg, throwing him a dirty look. Snape simply sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

“Malfoy threw a curse at me—” Harry’s fierce glare shut Sirius’ second attempt at interrupting. Geez, he needs to chill. “And Dad.” Sirius choked, going white. Harry ignored him. “We were stuck together and couldn’t be apart from each other for more than ten feet.”

“Hang on, isn’t that the Adversus Adhaero spell that old families used on their kids?” asked Sirius.

Snape closed his eyes, appearing deeply exhausted by the fact.

“Yes. It is.”

Sirius belted out a laugh.

Harry took a deep breath and tried once more. He told them everything, from the beginning. Remus managed to keep a better rein on Sirius’ mouth. Harry unleashed everything on them. He told them about how it was like, how he felt. He told them about wanting to become closer to Snape to avoid fighting so much, to learn more about Lily – “Since no one has anything to say about her. Only about my Dad, James.” He told them about his detentions and how he became poisoned by the quill.

And the hardest part: he told them about the Dursleys.

“They’d hit me for little things, before I was eleven,” whispered Harry. “But it wasn’t until I went to Hogwarts that Uncle Vernon stopped smacking me with his hand. He started using his belt.”

Their faces were white.

Snape trembled.

“I lived in a cupboard under the stairs until I was eleven. They hated feeding me. I did all the chores. I did a lot of the cooking.”

But that wasn’t the worst of it.

“I had to listen to them treat Dudley with love and affection. I just wanted them to like me, maybe even love me. But they only called me a freak. They could barely say my name without disgust.”

Tears were inside Sirius’ eyes. Remus had long closed his eyes, hiding them behind a hand.

“This is what I’ve had to go through my entire life,” said Harry. “So, before you get all mad that Snape—Dad—is now my father, you have to understand what it was like. You have to understand that someone like him, who basically hates kids – or acts like it – couldn’t let me go back.”

“I don’t hate all kids,” said Snape.

“Okay, well, just stupid ones.”

“Very well. I hate all kids.”

Harry let out a laugh. Even Remus seemed amused by that.

“This is my Dad now,” said Harry, pointing at Snape. “You should be happy for me. There’s someone else who wants to be there for me. He wants to help me with my dreams.”

Harry purposely left out what some of those dreams were. He was pretty sure Sirius wouldn’t be able to handle another bombshell of a revelation, such as Harry wanting to be a Potions Master. Even that one had thrown Snape off course.

For a long moment, there was more silence.

“This is a lot to take in,” whispered Remus. “But… please don’t get me wrong: I am very happy that it has turned for the better.”

Guilt bled through his face; he looked down.

Sirius had long dropped his face into his hands, resting his elbows onto his knees. “Harry,” he choked. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault you were with the Dursleys. I shouldn’t have chased after Pettigrew. I should’ve stay behind and taken you in and raised you and protected you.”

“I don’t blame you,” whispered Harry.

“I know, I know, but listen… Your Dad…” Sirius looked up, desperation in his eyes. A chill slid down Harry’s spine. “He wouldn’t want you with Snape. He wouldn’t. Your Dad—he hated him. Stay with me this summer, please. I’ll fight Dumbledore. We’ll run away, but please…” He disappeared behind his hands again. “Please.”

I see…

He was surprisingly calm; after all, Snape had been the same in his feelings towards Harry. Both men had nurtured their hatred until it was more important than their love for something or someone else. Snape had broken free of those chains.

Sirius needed time to do the same.

“What do you expect me to say?” asked Harry softly. “You expect me to agree with you, Sirius? To say of course I’ll leave the only security I’ve ever known to be on the run, hiding from the Dark Git and Dementors, and wondering if we’ll be okay in the morning? Is that what you want? Do you really think my Dad would be okay with that?”

Sirius slumped.

“Your hatred is not more important than me,” whispered Harry. “It’s time to leave it behind yourself. I plan to do everything I can to destroy that prejudice from Hogwarts. This stupid prejudice is what created the Dark Git in the first place.”

There was a sharp intake of breath, but Harry pressed on.

“I’m not just James’ son. I’m not just Lily’s son. I am more than my parents. I’m my own person. How can I be like people I’ve never met before? We should all be really thankful I’m not like the Dursleys.”

Silence reigned. Harry’s chest heaved. He was tired. He wanted everything to be all right here. He didn’t want them to hate him.

He just wanted a family.

Why was that so hard to understand?

“You are my godfather,” said Harry, looking at Sirius. He turned his gaze onto Remus. “And you’re the uncle I always wanted.” He pointed to Snape. “And he’s the Dad I never had growing up. We’re a messed up, broken family – but still a family. So…” He huffed, his annoyance peaking. “So, just suck it up and deal with it.”

Please, Sirius. Please understand me. I want all of you in my life.

Don’t keep doing this.