Someone was pounding on the door.
Severus jumped out of bed, hoping it wasn’t…
But it was. Harry stood there, clutching his hand, blood trailing down his arm.
Severus resisted the urge to curse out loud and instead ushered Harry inside, pulling him into a tight embrace. At least he had come to Severus, at least he hadn’t tried to hide it, at least…
“Severus,” Harry said, pulling himself out of the hug. “I didn’t…”
“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to,” Severus soothed, gently taking the hand and unwrapping the cloth he had held around it.
“No, I mean, I didn’t… I did it, but I didn’t want to, not really, I…”
Severus stared at the lines written on his hand. ‘I must not tell lies’ was embroidered on his skin.
“Who used a blood quill on you?” Severus asked cooly, barely restraining his anger. It would do no good to release it on Harry. No, that must be saved for the son of a bitch who had hurt his-
“Umbridge,” Harry whispered softly. “Well technically I used it on myself, but…”
“I will kill her,” Severus stated darkly. Harry shook his head frantically.
“No, Severus, please don’t, it’s not worth it…”
Severus sighed, pulling the boy into his arms once more. “It’s a figure of speech, Harry. I won’t kill her. Not right now, anyway. Come, we need to get this cleaned up.”
Severus led Harry to his personal potions lab while considering both the longevity and legality of spells that would turn a toad-faced woman into an actual toad…
Once they had reached the lab, Severus told Harry to sit on the countertop as he rifled through his cupboards for potions to counteract the effects of the blood quill. Murtlap Essence, Scar-Diminishing Serum… Unfortunately there weren’t many options to help with this particular wound.
“Here, soak your hand in this for a while and then we’ll apply the Scar-Diminishing Serum,” Severus said, pouring the Murtlap Essence into a bowl and passing it to Harry.
Harry obeyed, relief washing over his face as he dipped his hand in the gunk.
“What does she claim you to have lied about?” Severus asked after a moment.
“Voldemort,” Harry answered immediately before winching as Snape did at the name. “Sorry, I keep forgetting…”
“It is not an issue,” Severus muttered.
Harry snorted lightly but said no more on that topic.
“I suppose I pissed her off in class because I wouldn’t say that he isn’t back. And so now I’m both mental and a liar.”
“You’re not mental,” Severus murmured. “Or a liar. Most of the time, anyway.”
Harry snorted again. “Yeah, I guess, I mean, I only see my therapist once a week now, so that’s something.”
“That does not make you mental,” Severus sighed. Claire had helped Harry quite a bit over the summer, but he was still clearly insecure about seeing her. He refused to tell his friends about it and only agreed to continue meeting with her during the school year in the safety of Severus’ chambers.
Severus couldn’t blame him, really, nor did he pressure him to discuss it with his friends, but it was still nothing to be ashamed of. Severus actually felt quite a bit of admiration for Harry being as willing as he was to accept help.
Harry only hummed noncommittally.
Severus unscrewed the lid to the Scar-Diminishing Serum before lifting Harry’s hand out of the Murtlap and examining it. The cut was sealed, but the ‘I must not tell lies’ had only become more readable. The scar serum could only do so much, but Severus hoped it would work miracles as he rubbed it into Harry’s skin. He let it sit for a moment.
“I really didn’t want to,” Harry said quietly, staring at the serum covering his hand. “But at the same time, I…”
“I know,” Severus murmured, rubbing his back. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
“It is though,” Harry muttered. “I started all of this in the first place. I should have never…”
“You should have never been an orphan. You should have never been sent to live with neglectful relatives. You should have never felt enough pain to turn to this for answers. We can go in circles all day, it is not your fault. The burden is not yours to bear…”
“Lots of people have crappy lives. They usually don’t cut themselves to feel better.”
“Yes, some people become Death Eaters instead,” Severus muttered darkly.
Harry struggled to find words and Severus shook his head, continuing. “It is beside the point. Even setting aside your own struggles, that bitch tortured you. She will most certainly pay for it.”
“Severus, you can’t kill her, they’ll find out and send you to Azkaban and-“
“I won’t kill her,” Severus said, sighing. It was tempting, but he too was aware of the consequences of such actions and had no interest in leaving Harry alone to fend for himself.
“Then what?”
“We’ll just have to be a bit more… creative,” said Severus. He smirked a bit at the worried look Harry sent him. “Don’t worry, it is nothing to concern yourself over. I will discuss it with Albus and we will work something out.”
“There’s no need to bother the headmaster with it,” Harry said dejectedly. “He-he’s really busy these days.”
“He has a lot on his mind,” Severus agreed, internally fuming at Albus’ ignorance of Harry during a time when he needed him most. “But he is still the headmaster of this school and corporal punishment is absolutely forbidden, especially with a dark object such as a blood quill,” he finished, shaking his head. It was almost unimaginable that a Ministry of Magic employee could possibly think such a form of punishment was acceptable, but then, Severus had long ago lost any faith he might have ever held with the Ministry.
“I guess,” Harry muttered, looking down at his legs as he slowly swung them under the table.
“Even if the headmaster sees it fit to ignore you, I do not. I am proud of you for coming to me with this,” Severus said softly, patting Harry’s knee.
“There was a time when I wouldn’t have,” Harry said, nodding. “I don’t think I would have gone to anyone, I mean. But… you’ve been really great to me, Severus. I… never thought I would have this. I know I’ve been a pain in the ass and I really appreciate you being here for me.”
“You haven’t been a pain in the ass,” Severus assured. “Everyone has problems, Harry. You are not a burden for reaching out for help.”
Harry shrugged. “I feel like I am, though. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to change that mentality.”
Severus shook his head. “Likely a result of your deplorable relatives. You deserve love and compassion, just like anyone else.”
“I guess,” said Harry, nibbling his lower lip. Severus reached up and pulled it out from between his teeth. Harry smiled sheepishly.
“You’ve come so far,” Severus praised, taking the teen into his arms. “I truly am proud of you, I hope you know.”
“I know,” Harry murmured, tightening his arms around Severus. “You tell me that like twenty two times a day.”
“Just making sure the message sinks in,” Severus said, picking up Harry’s hand and examining it. The mark had faded to extremely faint white lines. Another application of the serum and it would be gone completely.
Severus lightly squeezed the newly healed hand. He smiled, thankful that there would be no more scars tonight.
Part 5
The End.
Chapter End Notes:
I know some people were hoping for more, but this is the last chapter. Maybe someday I'll write some one-shots or something for this universe, but as I'm out of ideas at the moment and this never had a real plot... Self harm is an on-going battle and there is no picture perfect ending. I do however feel that there is contentment, light at the end of the tunnel… Harry will continue his fight to stay clean, and I think that he will win. I hope that anyone who has been reading this fic and is struggling with SI will win their own battle as well. Thank you so much for joining me on this journey and I hope you enjoyed it :)