“My Lord,” the blonde-haired man said as he knelt before him, head bowed low.
“Rise Lucius,” his voice came out thin and raspy, still unused to having a human voice after all these years. Lucius rose and stared straight at him, unable to entirely disguise his fear.
“I trust you have bought what I asked for?”
The normally proud wizard gulped and appeared chastised, “I am sorry my Lord. It appears my grandfather hid it better than I anticipated. I will need more time.”
“Time?” his voice called out in a soft hiss. “You need time? Our plan is already set in motion and the spy is in place. Our success relies on you finding it.” The blonde wizard flinched back as he bit out the last words.
“I-I am sorry, my Lord, I will find it.”
“Wormtail?” the voice called sharply.
“Y-yes, my Lord?” a trembling man stepped forward from his inconspicuous place in the room's shadows.
“Do you find Lucius’s answer to be acceptable?”
“No m-my Lord,” the short man squeaked as he hunched over more, making him appear even shorter than usual.
“Give him a reminder, so he can gain some incentive to search harder.”
He felt a thrill of satisfaction as the mousy man yelled, “Crucio,” and the blonde fell to the floor with a hard thud, body contorting in pain, jaw clamped shut to stop from shrieking.
“Pathetic, Wormtail. Must I do everything myself?” he asked, disappointed that the man wasn’t screaming yet. “Crucio!” His voice boomed, imbued with power as the man's back arched and his wails resounded through the dungeon.
“Harry, Harry!” He heard someone calling his name, but it was drowned out by loud screaming. His body felt like it was on fire and hot swords were being driven into every one of his muscles. Abruptly, the pain ended, and he could only feel remnants of lightning-like tremors coursing through his body every few seconds.
“Harry!” He was startled by a voice directly to his right and looked to see his potions professor leaning over his bed in worry, a hand pushing back his black hair that was matted to his forehead with sweat. Harry abruptly flinched away from the cool hand before leaning over the side of the bed and vomiting.
“Evanesco,” Snape said quietly, vanishing the mess with a wave of his wand. Harry pushed himself up, grateful as Snape handed him the glass of water sitting on the nightstand. He took long gulps, clearing the acrid taste from his mouth, but jolted when his hands trembled and spilt the water.
“Shit,” he cursed, water soaking into his already sweat-dampened pajamas.
Snape cast a drying charm before looking at him with concern, “Will you tell me what had your screams rattling the walls at four in the morning?”
Harry took a deep breath before whispering, “Voldemort.”
Snape let out a long sigh, “It makes sense you would have nightmares about him. No student should ever have to go through what you’ve been through.”
“No,” Harry pleaded forcefully, his eyes panicked. “You don’t understand. It wasn’t a bad dream or memory. It was real.” Harry’s voice caught on the last word and Snape’s brow furrowed, as Harry proceeded to recount the dream. He wasn't sure why he was telling Snape. No, he didn’t trust the man, but Snape also hadn’t mocked him yet or even yelled at him for vomiting on his slippers. Harry couldn’t get Lucius Malfoy’s screams out of his head or the searing pain he felt and knew he needed to tell someone.
When Harry concluded the dream, Snape stared at him aghast. Horror, surprise, and sympathy all crossed his face, but never once did it seem like Snape doubted him. “Let me get this straight,” Snape started after sitting in silence for several minutes processing everything Harry told him. “Is this the first dream you’ve had like this?”
Harry shuddered, and told Snape about the dream he’d had earlier that summer with the giant snake and the old man who was killed. Snape's mouth thinned as he processed this information. “When he cast the Cruciatus curse did you feel it? Could you feel what Lucius felt?”
Harry shook his head in confusion, “Sorry, what’s the Cruciatus curse?”
“It’s the torture spell- an unforgivable.” Snape took a deep breath before continuing, “The unforgivable curses are the three most sinister curses in the Wizarding World. Use of any of them on a person will land you a life sentence in Azkaban. The Cruciatus curse causes immense pain. It feels as if hot knives are piercing your skin and that your head is about to burst from the pain and pressure. It also leaves the victim with residual tremors that can be quite severe,” Snape broke off and looked at Harry’s hands that shook uncontrollably every few seconds.
“Fuck,” Snape cursed under his breath before summoning a potion.
“Drink,” he said, thrusting the blue iridescent potion at Harry. Snape looked absolutely livid, so Harry did what he said, knowing better than to cross him at this moment. Luckily, the potion did not taste vile like so many of the ones he was accustomed to and he was relieved when the tremors that continued to rack his body slowly stopped.
Snape must’ve noticed his questioning glance because he told him, “It’s an anti-cruciatus potion. I invented it myself.” His expression darkened as if he was recounting terrible memories.
“Here,” he said, thrusting another potion bottle at Harry. “Drink this too. It’s dreamless sleep that will hopefully ward off anymore…” he paused, searching for the right word. “Visions,” he finally concluded.
Harry downed the bottle in two gulps, pleased to find that mere seconds later his eyelids were drooping. “Sleep, my child,” he thought he heard before darkness consumed him.
Harry fought his way to consciousness as sleep tried to drag him back under, and pried open his eyes. It took him a moment to remember his surroundings as the events of the previous night settled in. He held his hand out in front of him and released a sigh of relief when he saw it wasn’t shaking. Sitting up in bed, he was startled to notice a hand resting lightly next to him on the bed. A hand that was attached to his professor.
What the hell is Snape doing here, Harry thought to himself, perplexed by the situation. The man looked extremely uncomfortable, sleeping in a desk chair that was positioned next to Harry’s bed. Did he stay here all night? Disturbed by that thought, and the implication that Snape might actually care about him, he quietly got out of bed and made his way to the restroom.
Luckily, when he came back to his room, Snape was gone. Relieved that he wouldn’t have to face the man yet, Harry got dressed in the clothes he noticed were folded neatly on the bed and went in search of breakfast.
Unfortunately, that is where his luck ended. Instead of going to class, Snape was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee. Letting out a long sigh, Harry headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge to rummage around for something to eat. He couldn’t say he was surprised to find that it was mainly empty, except for a jug of milk, some bread, and a few apples. Pulling out the bread, he cut himself a slice and lathered it with butter before going to sit at the table. The entire time, he felt dark eyes following him, which he did his best to ignore.
Snape however, was not content to ignore his presence. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“Better,” Harry replied with a yawn. The pain he felt last night was nothing more than a memory. Suddenly, a glass vial appeared next to his plate, containing the same nutrition potion he took last night. Knowing that he would never win an argument, he decided to just go ahead and swallow it before Snape even had to ask.
The two sat in awkward silence while Harry finished the rest of his breakfast. “Would you like anything more to eat?” Snape asked in a tone that wasn’t unfriendly. “I know I don’t have much here but you’re welcome to ask a House Elf for anything you would like.”
Harry shook his head no. In all honesty, this was the most he’d eaten for breakfast in several months and he didn’t think he could stomach any more. Snape sighed as if he could guess Harry’s thoughts, but didn’t push him. Harry was just about to rise from the table when Snape said, “I thought we could go to Diagon Alley today.”
Harry’s head whipped up to look at Snape. Was the man insane? Harry couldn’t go out looking like this, everyone would find out their secret. And besides, he’d already gotten his school things for the year so it wasn’t like he needed to go shopping.
“I thought you could use some new clothes,” Snape said, ignoring Harry’s look of revulsion at the idea of clothes shopping.
“It’s all right sir, I have plenty of clothes I can wear.” Snape's mouth thinned at Harry’s reply and Harry knew he was about to hear everything that was wrong with his wardrobe.
“Yes, I looked through your trunk last night and saw what you think passes for clothing. Do you really believe these garments to be acceptable?” Snape asked with the hint of a sneer. Snape then glanced down to Harry's school trousers and how they sat a full six inches above his ankle. “And not to mention, you’ve grown several inches, so you’ll be needing new school robes as well.”
The chair clattered to the floor as Harry stood up with fists clenched. “No one has ever had a problem with my clothes before. I don’t see why anyone should start caring now.”
“Sit down and hold your temper,” Snape said. His words were soft, but his voice held a threat of what would happen if Harry continued to be disrespectful. Harry however, didn’t care, so he simply crossed his arms and scowled at the man.
Snape closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, before speaking, “This is not how I wanted this morning to go. Will you please sit down, Harry?” It was the sincerity in Snape's tone that finally made Harry pick up the fallen chair and calmly sit down in it. He figured the lethal glare he sent in Snape’s direction was enough to indicate his abhorrence of this conversation.
To Snape’s credit, he didn’t balk at the daggers Harry was staring at him, nor did he reprimand the young Gryffindor for it. “Judging from your reaction, I am going to assume that tattered, baggy clothes are not merely a fashion statement?” Harry said nothing, merely clenched his fists as he crossed his arms tightly across his chest.
Snape let out a long sigh and ran a hand through his black hair, “Have you ever owned new clothes aside from your school robes?” Harry still made no answer, which told Snape all he needed to know.
“I will kill the Dursleys,” he cursed under his breath. “There is no debate, we are going shopping today, no matter how much you may loathe the idea.” Harry decided that the best course of action would be to continue his vow of silence in regards to this topic. Letting out another sigh (Harry didn’t think he’d ever heard Snape sigh as much as he did these past few days) Snape got up and placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder.
“You deserve to have new things,” he told the teen. Seeing that silence was the only reaction he would get from Harry, he continued, “I will resize some of my clothes so they will fit you to wear today. I expect you to be dressed and ready to go in thirty minutes.”
Harry stormed out of the kitchen, arms still crossed. He knew it was silly to be so worked up over something as simple as clothing and shopping, but he couldn’t understand why Snape cared. Mrs. Weasley saw what he wore and never said anything about his casts off from Dudley. Neither did Hermione’s parents or anyone else at this god forsaken school when he walked around in muggle clothes on the weekend. So why did Snape care now?
Thirty-five minutes later, he emerged from his room dressed all in black. Of course it was all black., Harry scoffed at the thought of Snape owning anything with color. He was going to refuse to wear the clothes Snape left for him, but found that Snape removed all the clothes from his trunk, the bastard. So now, here he was standing in the living room in a pair of black trousers and t-shirt.
“I am assuming,” Snape drawled from where he sat on the couch reading The Daily Prophet. “That you do not want to inform the world yet about our…predicament.” Harry nodded, he didn’t want anyone to find out. Ever.
“Very well,” Snape continued. “We will say that you are the son of my cousin who is starting at Hogwarts this year. You’ve come from abroad and did not have the chance to get your school items. Do you have a name you would like to go by?”
“Er…” Harry paused, his mind blanking. Finally he said the first name he could think of, “Daniel.”
Snape nodded once, “Very well, Daniel, we’ll be flooring to the Leaky Cauldron. Would you like to go first?”
Harry stepped into the fireplace, grimacing to himself as he thought of the first time he floo’d to Diagon Alley. Hopefully he wouldn’t wind up in Knockturn Alley again. He didn’t think Snape would be as understanding as Mrs. Weasley. In a clear voice, he yelled, “Leaky Cauldron!”
He tripped out of the fireplace and was brushing soot off of himself when Snape stepped through a moment later. He scowled when he saw that the man's robes were as pristine as usual. “Let’s go to Madame Malkins first to get you new robes and then we can go into Muggle London to buy some more casual things. I do need to stop at the Apothecary before we head out, though. The Hospital Wing is running low on potions, so I need to make some more.”
Harry ran a hand through his hair in chagrin at the last comment. Undoubtedly, they were running low because of him. He was following behind Snape when it struck him, “Wait, Sir! We need to go to Gringotts first. I won’t have enough to pay for all of this.”
“Don’t be silly, child,” Snape said, not slowing down to wait for Harry. “I have plenty of money.”
“But I’ll still need to get some galleons to pay you back.”
Snape stopped abruptly and turned to look at Harry, “There’s no need to pay me back. Everything has been taken care of, we are family after all.”
Harry was about to open his mouth to reply that they weren’t, when a warning look from Snape stopped him. For today’s ruse they were family. Not just for the ruse, a voice in his head claimed. But no, Harry refused to believe that the man was his father. He couldn’t accept charity from Snape either, he had plenty of money to buy new clothes. He would simply owl Gringotts and tell them to add the money from his vault to Snape’s. Yeah, that would work.
An hour later, Harry was glad that they were finally leaving Madam Malkin’s. Ever since his run in with Malfoy before his first year it was never his favorite shop in Diagon Alley. And not to mention, he was bad at standing still, so he was often pricked with needles. He was pleased to note that he grew about four inches and Snape even ordered robes that could be extended because he expected Harry to grow even more. Finally, maybe he wouldn’t be the shortest in his year. He always loathed his height, he was even shorter than most of the girls in his class and some of the students in the years below him. He knew it was due to his diet at his relatives’ house, but there was never much he could do about that. Harry shook his head, determined to not think about the Dursleys. He was surprised that today was actually going well, and he and Snape had yet to get into any serious arguments. It was still early, though.
Harry bumped into Snape’s back, rousing him from his thoughts. “Try to watch where you’re going,” Snape told him, placing a steadying hand off his shoulder.
“Hey, lay off him Snivellous,” Harry heard a familiar booming voice exclaim and looked up to see the cause of Snape’s sudden stop. Sirius and Remus were grinning down at him.
“Moony, Padfoot!” Harry went to give them a hug, when he was stopped by Snape.
Leaning into his ear, he whispered, “Remember where you are Harry, no relative of mine wouldn’t be so friendly to my childhood nemeses.” Harry rolled his eyes. Who actually used the word nemeses in a sentence?
“Lupin, Mutt, may I please introduce my cousin, Daniel,” Snape emphasized the words cousin and Daniel, hoping that Remus and Sirius would catch on. Sirius opened his mouth, no doubt about to ask what was going on, when Remus elbowed him.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Daniel,” Moony said, holding out his hand and giving him a big smile. Harry shook it excitedly, thrilled to have run into the two. Maybe they could save him from Snape.
“Out doing some shopping?” Remus continued.
“Yes. My cousin here is starting at Hogwarts this term, and is in need of some school robes. I also found that none of his muggle clothes fit, so we’ll be heading into London to find some other things as well.”
“That’s wonderful, Ha-Daniel,” Remus said. He pitched his voice down lower so no one would hear them and leaned in to whisper, “Listen, we were actually going to owl you. We’ve missed you and were wondering if we could take you out to dinner.”
Harry’s eyes lit up. He would love to spend time with Sirius and Remus, and it’d be a bonus to get out of the dungeons as well. He was about to tell them as much, when he suddenly remembered his appearance. “I-I would love to but I can’t,” he said, looking down, not wanting to see the look of disappointment on their faces. That meant he was also unable to see the look of confusion that crossed Snape’s.
“That’s alright,” Remus said, “Maybe another time then?”
He was about to say yes, when Snape interrupted, “Why don’t you want to go?” Harry continued to look down, refusing to answer. “Is it because you don’t want anyone to see you?”
Harry’s eyes shot up to Snape’s as the older man continued, “Daniel is not quite ready to be seen where people may figure out the truth, so would you like to have dinner with him in my quarters? I, of course, will not be present, I have potions that need to be brewed.” Harry’s jaw dropped at the offer. He couldn’t believe that Snape would do such a thing, and why?
“Like hell-” Sirius started to say, however Remus interrupted him.
“We would love to. We will take any chance we can to spend time with you,” he said looking at Harry, before sending a pointed glare at Sirius.
Sirius tried to smile, but it came off as more of a grimace, “Yeah, of course we would pup.”
“Great! Can’t wait to see you guys tonight,” Harry couldn’t help his grin as he thought about spending more time with his Godfathers.
“We have multiple errands to run, so we must be on our way,” Snape said as he gave them a tight nod and led Harry away towards The Leaky Cauldron.
“Thank you so much, Sir! I can’t believe you did that.”
Snape turned to look at him and placed both hands on Harry’s shoulders. “Of course,” he said and Harry couldn’t help but believe his sincerity. “I care for you. I know that I treated you deplorably in the past. There is no excuse for my actions, not even losing my memories, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.”
Snape then proceeded to turn and walk ahead, leaving Harry staring at his back, stunned and confused. Snape welcomed the people he hated most in the world into his home for Harry. Snape cared for Harry. What had the universe come to?
Several hours later, an exhausted Harry and Severus finally floo’d back into Snape's quarters at Hogwarts. Shopping in muggle London was far better than shopping at Madam Malkin’s. For starters there were no judgy witches who poked him with pins, but also he was able to find clothes he was more used to. Harry was shocked when Snape let him buy clothes that matched the current trends he always saw teens wearing on tv or at the mall. Of course, Snape didn’t let him buy anything too big or baggy as a lot of kids wore, but Harry was fine with that. He’d had enough oversized clothes to last him a lifetime. Snape had even bought him the latest trainers even though they were triple the amount Harry would have spent if it was his own money.
Now, back at Hogwarts, Snape went off into his private potions lab while Harry changed into his new clothes and waited around for Sirius and Remus to come. He had just started to read his Defense Against the Dark Arts book when the floo flared to life.
“Harry,” Sirius greeted him, stepping out of the floo gracefully with open arms. It seemed everyone could floo without tripping except for him, Harry thought as he gave Sirius a hug.
Harry gave Remus a hug too as Sirius stared around with wide eyes. “I can’t believe it,” he said, not bothering to quiet his voice. “It’s somewhat normal. No chains or coffins or heads of dead students.”
Remus rolled his eyes as Harry uncomfortably laughed. He had the same reaction when he first came here, but for some reason hearing it from Sirius made him feel chagrined and sorry for Snape.
“So how has it been going Harry?” Remus changed the subject as if sensing Harry’s unease. Unfortunately, Sirius didn’t get the memo.
“How do you think it’s been going, Remy? Obviously, it's been hell for our poor Harry here. That’s why we wanted to spring him from this place tonight,” Sirius said with a wink at Harry.
“Actually, it hasn’t been bad,” Harry confessed, sitting at the table where the House Elves had dinner ready for them. “Snape isn’t warm and cuddly, but he’s been decent. I grew because of the..changes, so none of my school clothes fit. He noticed that all my muggle clothes were too big because they were hand-me-downs from Dudley. That’s why he took me shopping today. He bought me new trainers and everything! He even got me a Walkman that he said he’ll try to fix so it can work even with all the magic at Hogwarts.”
Remus beamed at him, clearly happy that Harry had someone to look out for him for a change. Sirius, however, didn’t buy it, “Come on Harry. You can tell us the truth. I’m sure it’s been awful dealing with that dungeon bat. The more we know, the more ammunition we’ll have to get you away from him.”
“It actually hasn’t been bad, Sirius,” Harry protested, voice growing louder as he was getting angrier with his Godfather. He wasn’t sure why he was so defensive of Severus, but the man had been pretty decent to him these past few days, and Harry wasn’t about to let Sirius belittle that. “He’s really been pretty nice. He even helped me last night after I had a nightmare.”
This of course piqued the interest of both Sirius and Remus, so Harry went in depth explaining his dream, or vision, to them while they ate dinner. Naturally, they were both concerned, especially since they knew about the last dream Harry had, but he managed to fend off their worry and promised to let them know if he had another one.
Luckily, after that things moved into lighter topics. Sirius opened up the bottle of wine he bought as he and Remus regaled him with stories from when they were at Hogwarts. “And then,” Sirius continued with a laugh as he polished off the last of his second bottle of wine. “James dyed Mrs. Norris pink. Filch spent weeks trying to get the color off, he was covered in scratches.” He let out a burp as he delved into a fit of giggles.
Harry let out a chuckle, he could only imagine a pink Mrs. Norris, and Filch trying to chase after her. Snape chose that moment to leave his potions lab and come back into the kitchen. “Having fun I presume,” he said with a drawl that indicated he hoped they were having anything but fun.
“Yes, Severus,” Remus said, with a polite nod of his head. “Thank you so much for letting us come over.”
“Hey Snivellous,” Sirius looked up from where he’d laid his head down on the table. “Do you want to know why Herbology is your least favorite subject?” Severus made no answer, just stared with pursed lips as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “It’s cause you could never keep Lilies alive-get it, Lily.” Sirius delved into a fit of laughter, clearly oblivious that the temperature in the room had dropped by several degrees.
“Cause you killed Lily,” he continued, between hiccuping laughs.
“Sirius,” Remus hissed. “Stop. Now. Severus, I’m so–” he broke off at the look on Snape’s face. He’d gone completely pale, the same shade as Nearly Headless Nick, and his hand was flexed as if he were going to reach for his wand and curse Sirius. He didn’t though, instead he took several deep breaths, before merely exiting the room. Harry jumped as his bedroom door slammed shut with a bang.
“What the bloody hell, Sirius?” Harry yelled at him.
“What, what happened? Can Snapey not take a joke?” Sirius was clearly drunk and out of his mind. That did nothing to diminish Harry’s anger.
“A joke? Is that what you think this is? You think my mother dying to save me is a joke? God, just leave Sirius.” Harry pushed away from the table, unwilling to be near his Godfather for any longer.
“Wait, Harry,” Sirius pleaded as he grabbed Harry’s arm. Harry shook him off, but he wasn’t dissuaded. “It was just a joke, I loved Lily, you know that.”
Harry couldn’t answer because he didn’t know that, he hardly knew anything about his parents.
“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Remus apologized as he attempted to corral Sirius towards the foo. “I know it’s no excuse, but he’s drunk. We’ll leave now, please give Severus our apologies.”
“Like I would ever apologize to that bastard,” Sirius slurred as he stumbled towards the floo.
“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Remus apologized one last time, and with a flash of green flames they were gone. Harry spent a full minute staring at the fireplace. Today had been going so well and then Sirius had to ruin it. He shook his head to clear his mind, before walking towards his room. It was his intention to just go to bed, but somehow he found himself standing in front of Snape’s door. Without thinking he knocked. There was no answer, so he knocked again.
“Yes,” Snape snarled as he pulled open the door. Harry shrank backwards, thrown off by the malice gleaming in the older man's eyes. Seeing that it was just Harry, Snape’s expression softened. “I’m sorry, Harry, I thought it was the wolf coming to apologize.”
Harry shook his head, unsure what to say. They stood staring at each other in awkward silence, before Harry finally blurted out, “Mind if I come in?” Snape made no reply, merely opened his door before he walked back into the shadows of his room.
As Harry entered the room, he couldn’t help but stare in curiosity. He should no longer be surprised at how normal everything was, yet here he was marveling at the warm taupe colored walls and dark mahogany furniture. It actually didn’t look that different from his Aunt and Uncle’s bedroom. Snape sat on the floor, in a very un-Snape like manner and let his head fall back against the bed. Harry sat down on the floor opposite him, leaning against the dresser.
“I’m sorry about what Sirius said,” Harry said after a few moments of silence. Snape made no answer. “He was wrong you know,” Harry finally whispered. “You didn’t kill my mum.”
Snape let out a humorless chuckle at Harry’s words. “For once the mutt got something right, I did kill her.”
“No,” Harry replied vehemently. “Voldemort did, you had nothing to do with it.”
Snape shook his head, “You don’t understand Harry. If I hadn’t been a spy, I could’ve protected her, protected you both.”
“No!” Harry shouted, rising to his feet. “You would’ve died too. He would’ve killed you and then I would still be stuck with my Aunt and Uncle.” Snape stared at him for several moments until Harry felt uncomfortable under his gaze. Unsure what to do, but feeling awkward just standing there, Harry sat down again.
“You’re just like her, you know. Your mother,” Snape finally said. Harry looked up startled, he was sure the man wasn’t going to speak again. “I’m sorry for not seeing it before, but you have her kindness. It was my favorite trait in her.”
“Would you tell me about her, sometime?” Harry asked hesitantly. He’d always heard so much about James, but never anything about Lily, the woman who saved his life.
“Of course,” Snape said quietly. “Whatever you want to know.” Harry smiled and the two lapsed back into silence.
Before coming here, Harry was nervous. He knew it would be better than at the Dursleys’, but he never could’ve imagined Snape being nice to him. For once, it seemed like an adult cared about him, more than just his ability to win a quidditch game or defeat Voldemort, but cared for him and his well-being. Sitting in the dark, across from Snape, his once hated professor, Harry decided that he liked how that felt-being cared for.