Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Membership status: Administrator
My Pet: Adara
Penname:
animealam [Contact] Better be Hufflepuff!
Call me: Lorena (female) Member since: 30 Dec 2004
Beta? No
About me:

I'm also known as alandrem on the net, mostly in the Inuyasha community.

There isn't much to say about me except that I love music, Harry Potter, Rurouni Kenshin, Star Wars and to write. I suffer constanty from Plot Bunnies' attacks. Which result in taking longer than I should in updating.

Anyway for those wanting to know what other things I'm up to: I have three stories on the Inuyasha (anime, you can see it in Cartoon Network)

1. 'Present Time' - This is a 27 chapter WIP (Yes it's still a WIP I will finish it, although I don't know when.) That I have co-written with Telosphilos. I got a couple of second places for best continuing fic in one of the Inuyasha Mailing lists. Update on Present Time: I'm working on a re-write. It's now up to chapter 7, but won't be posted until I have at least half done [23/11/2008].

2. 'He Cooks!?' - My first and only one shot. I still don't know how I managed to write a one shot, I haven't been able to write one since. It's based on a challenge about using food on a story.

3. 'Just Another Crossover'.and a crossover with Rurouni Kenshin (Samurai X in some places) based on 'The Portal Challenge' and that has a very unoriginal. This is also a WIP.

These are some links to where I have all my stories posted as well as some other sites.

* Fanfic-Zone.net This is a general archive for fanfiction. If you have stories for other fandoms besides Harry Potter, the are welcomed here. Also if you have Harry Potter stories that don't fit Potions and Snitches guidelines they are also welcomed. I accept NC-17 stories. (This poor site has been neglected for a while, but I will give it a massive overhaul in the next couple of months [23/11/2008])

* Inuyasha's Corner Which is currently undergoing heavy modifications. This is a whole community with a fanfiction archive, a forum and fanart area. (This one is finally dead. I lost the hard disk where I had stored a backup of the site. The thing simply died noisily on me. I might still do something though not sure what yet [23/11/2008].)

* Animealam's Journal I keep here not just random comments but my Plot Bunnies for Harry Potter as well as drafts of chapters for my stories. They are under a privacy spell (he he) but if you want to read them I might give permission to see them. Just ask and you must be a LiveJournal member. These are also some C2 Groups that I created in FF.net. If you want to be a staff member just e-mail me.

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Reviews by animealam

Past Featured Story Brothers and Fathers by DaughterOfAres starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 262]
Harry gets some surprising news. He was adopted. His father is alive and he has a brother; named Severus Snape. Beta'd by breannatala

Takes Place: 5th summer - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Alternate Universe, Deaging
Categories: Big Brother Snape
Rated: K+ - Warnings: Abusive Dursleys
Chapters: 23 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 22 Aug 2007 / 23 May 2007
Series: Brothers - Challenges: None
Title: Chapter 14: How to Kick a Dog 03 Jun 2007
Reviewer: animealam (Signed)
    Wonderful chapter, and quite interesting to see Eileen's motives for leaving her sons.

Title: Chapter 15: A Whole New World 08 Jun 2007
Reviewer: animealam (Signed)
    I liked it a lot. I'm frankly hating Eileen, she's a b... well you get my meaning.
    I'm also enjoying your story very much. Your approach at making Tobias the good one is very original and you have turned him into a wonderful character and very real.
    Keep on the good work on this story.

Past Featured Story The Guiltless by Branwyn starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 241]
When Harry appears at the Welcoming Feast wearing a glamor only Snape notices, Snape decides to find out what the glamor is hiding. His investigation leads to a number of shocking revelations---both about The Boy Who Lived, and about Snape's understanding of himself. Sixth year AU.

Takes Place: 6th summer - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Snape-meets-Dursleys
Categories: Healer Snape, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape, Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape
Rated: T - Warnings: Abusive Dursleys
Chapters: 8 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 23 Aug 2007 / 26 Jun 2007
Series: Chivalry - Challenges: None
Title: Chapter 3: Reticence 28 Jun 2007
Reviewer: animealam (Signed)
    Oh this story is excellent :)

    You have managed to explain quite well how Severus point of view about Harry changes fast. I can't wait to read more and see what Dumbledore's reaction is. Are you going to make him good, manipulative, or evil?

    Author's Response: I hope to make him in-character---and I have very definite opinions about Dumbledore's character. :-)

Past Featured Story Slave Child by Kristeh starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 1252]
A duel with Draco leads to drastic and permanent consequences for both Harry and Severus.

Takes Place: 6th Year - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Adoption, Alternate Universe
Categories: Master Snape > Slave Harry
Rated: T - Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Self-harm, Suicide Themes
Chapters: 79 - Completed: No - Updated: 17 Nov 2011 / 27 Jan 2008
Series: None - Challenges: None
Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 17 Mar 2008
Reviewer: animealam (Signed)
    This cliffhanger was pure evil!!!!

    Still the story is going great and I find it interesting how you're keeping Severus in character. Keep the good work.

    Author's Response: Thank you so much!  I'll sure try.  And btw, is there any hope of you continuing with your story "Apprentice"?  Cause I really loved it!

Snape's Second Chance by omega13a starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 100]
Snape is left dying in the Shrieking Shack after giving Harry his memories convinced that Harry is going to his death. When Snape dies, he is given a chance to send his soul backwards in time seven years to give Harry a chance for a better (and hopefully longer) life. Will switch back and fourth between being Snape centered and Harry centered.

Takes Place: None - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Alternate Universe, Slytherin!Harry, Snape-meets-Dursleys
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape
Rated: K+ - Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Neglect
Chapters: 12 - Completed: No - Updated: 05 Jun 2009 / 17 May 2008
Series: None - Challenges: None
Title: Snape's Second Chance 17 Jun 2008
Reviewer: animealam (Signed)
    I noticed that you are making a very common mistake among fic writers, you're confusing "their" with "they're". The second is the contraction for "they are", which I believe was what you wanted to say.
    I also noticed that you have a tendency to omit pronouns. For example, near the end of the chapter you wrote: "If want someone" and the "I" (which is the pronoun that I believe you wanted to use) is missing. It should read "If I want someone". This is not the only example throughout the chapter as well as the story. I hope this helps you write better.

    Plot wise I believe you're rushing the events too much, this chapter is again more like a telegram. Take your time, and let the story flow, don't force events. You must also take into consideration that once Hermione and Harry were sorted into Slytherin the whole time line as Snape knew it has changed, and you must allow for those changes into your plot. It simply can't go in the same direction as the original books anymore.

    It's good that Snape is trying to destroy the Horcruxes, but you need time to build into the situation, to explain how he came to know about them, what he's thinking, and feeling. Remember Snape is a complex character, he KNOWS the Dark Arts and has used them. Not only that he is also a spell creator. These are tools you can use to flesh out the story, and remember, do not asume your readers know what you are thinking or where you're going story wise. Some explanations of events are always welcomed.
    I Think you might be doing a disservice to Snape's character by making him feel guilty for something like putting Ron in Slytherin (which I frankly believe unnecessary). I think that in any case he would be feeling bad for admitting him into the House of the Snake.
    Being the Master Spy Snape was in his other life and what he had to do to remain at Voldemort's side, proves that he does what he has to in order to reach his goals (or Dumbledore's as was the case). So it's unrealistic that he should feel guilty for messing up with Ron's sorting.

    Has someone offered to beta for you yet?

    If not here's a piece of advice that has helped me: Once you finish a chapter proof read it, than simply leave it for a few hours at the very least, but usually a day is better. This clears your mind a bit and you can then go back to your chapter. Getting away from it and then going back usually helps me to detect errors, in grammar, spelling, and in continuity. It's not fool proof, but it helps a bit until a beta can be found.

Title: Snape's Second Chance 17 Jun 2008
Reviewer: animealam (Signed)
    I can, in a way, understand that you want more constructive critism included in the reviews, most of us who write and have a desire to improve our work do prefer it. But still, believe it or not those "Good story. Can't wait to read more" reviews are helpful in their own way to authors. You get to see how much what you're writing is appreciated. It tells you that the story you're working hard to write is liked and you're not just writing to yourself, because if that's the case then why bother posting a story?

    You also must consider that not everyone that reads you fic has something more to say than that they like what you're writing, and the reasons are varied for this. Some are very young readers who have yet to learn how to give good constructive critism, some might not have that good a grasp of English to express more than liking although they understand what they are reading (my mother tongue is Spanish for example; and while this is not my case I do know it happens). There are also some that don't have good grammar or spelling abilities and they simply prefer to express a liking for your work than offering advice out of their league. There are some that simply wish to encourage an author into not abandoning a story by letting them know they are there, reading, even if they can't offer more commentary than that they "Can't wait to read more".
    -------------
    "Snape's Second Chance" has an interesting plot, that has not been overly exploited by others yet (it's hard with so many authors in the fandom to get original anymore, usually someone's already done it). You should not rush things, and let the story flow more naturally. Right now it's a bit of a telegram, expand the scenes a bit more, go more in dept into your characters, or even be more descriptive of places and events.
    On a personal note what fascinates me about writing Harry Potter fanfiction is that J.K. Rowling did not go too in dept developing her characters, even after DH there's much more for an author to work with and develop. The story has a good prospect, and can be improved greatly if you take a bit more time to work on character and plot development, even if it takes you a little longer to upload a chapter.
    -----------
    Now on to the chapter - I believe it was a good option to get Hermione into Slytherin (even if it is controversial because she is a muggle-born), she has potential. But I think getting Ron there as well was just... too much and not really necessary. You'll have to make him too OCC since he does not have an ounce of Slytherin in him. The twins on the other hand... Anyway, there are other underdeveloped characters in Slytherin that you could use in his place and they would have opened new areas in which you could move your plot.
    -----------
    Finally visit these sites if you need a dictionary, or a thesaurus. They are quite helpful. http://www.dictionary.com
    http://www.thesaurus.com

    Author's Response:

    I think I'll respound to your two reviews here. I did have the chapter betaed (if there is such a word). I'm concidering having more people proof read my work. If you or anyone would like to help with proof reading or giving me suggestion on how to improve the story, my contact info is in my profile page on this site. As for Ron not having an ounce of Slytherin in him, I personaly think everyone have some Slytherin in them. In my opinion, a person that has no Slytherin in them would be someone who has no desires or goals what so ever. In other words a person that would just see them self as they are in the Mirror of Erised. Unless Ron is a good actor, the Mirror of Erised showed that he wants to be better then his brothers. If that's not a good enough explination, remember, Snape confunded the Sorting Hat.

    Also, as for rushing the events, I guess I'm spending too much time running events I want to have happen later on story around in my head and can't wait to get to writing them down. Right now, I'm running Pettigrew's capture around in my head. Not to mention Snape destroying the soul fragement inside of Harry and a conversation Snape has with Dumbledore at the end of the year. When I write stories, I can see what is happening in my head but I find it difficult to put what I see into words. Its like trying to translate using a faulty translation program. You end up with something that isn't quite what you wanted. Also, there are some events that at first will happen similarly but I can assure you by the end of the winter holidays, the timeline will bare no resemblence to what happened the first time around. Year one is not going to be dealing with the stone but with getting Harry out of the Dursley's care. Its not going to be as easy as Snape had thought...


Past Featured Story To Trust by Abie starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 498]
Harry Potter is located in London in the dead of night. How exactly did he end up there, and what has he been doing? Well, any kid with half a brain knows not to talk to strangers.

Takes Place: 1st summer before Hogwarts - Snape flavour: None
Tags: None
Categories: Parental Snape > Guardian Snape
Rated: T - Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Neglect, Suicide Themes
Chapters: 22 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 02 Mar 2015 / 03 Apr 2014
Series: To Trust - Challenges: None
Title: Chapter 12: How to Save a Life 18 Jul 2014
Reviewer: animealam (Signed)
    This was a very intense chapter, and handled incredibly well. The whole story has been very good, I read through the whole 12 chapters in a sitting. I simply could not stop. You have created very compelling views on Severus and Harry.

    Look forward to more chapters.


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