Ravenclaw!
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At Lily's request, Albus Dumbledore has kept a secret from Severus Snape for 17 years. When Dumbledore learns that this secret plays a vital role in the war, however, it is Snape who is left to deal with the consequences. As Harry's true parentage is revealed, both his and Snape's futures become uncertain. The two must learn to work together in order to survive. PreHBP.
Takes Place: 6th summer
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Snape flavour: Canon Snape
Tags: None
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape
Membership status: Member
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Reviews by Arualcopia
Rated: T
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Warnings: Alcohol Use, Torture, Violence
Chapters: 58 - Completed: No - Updated: 11 Oct 2015 / 28 Jun 2005
Series: None - Challenges: None
Chapters: 58 - Completed: No - Updated: 11 Oct 2015 / 28 Jun 2005
Series: None - Challenges: None
| Title: Chapter 9: Carry You | 09 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
lol you left people with this cliffy when you had more chapters waiting! lol. I would have died... oh wait, that's the a/n, so you must have left them at last chapter... wait that's equally as bad!
Anyway, I have two suggestions for you, if you're still going through and editing you first chapters that is... In chapter 8, you might want to consider adding a paragraph that has Snape thinking up his escape plan, before Snape gives Kingsley directions. Like he considers sending Kingsley back to have him call Snape on the little coin/portkey. That way you'll clarify how the portkey only works one way. But then Snape strikes that idea, noting how serious Harry's condition is and how he shouldn't be transported magically. That may clarify things?
My second suggestion is that you clarify how Voldemort's little hideout is protected. It seems very close to Hogwarts (just across the lake) and Snape knows exactly how to get there (and maybe Kingsley too). It seems odd that they would know the location and not send a bunch of aurors/order members to attack. Especially since there are a bunch of other tortured individuals trapped there. You might explan why they can't go there later on in the story and I just don't remember. But if you didn't... I propose one easy idea, that it's protected under a fidelius charm and although it's very close, Snape can't tell Dumbledore where it is. And then Kingsley... well he doesn't really have to know where he is, he just popped in after all... and he always leaves via his portkey? Oh and Harry won't remember where it is, because he wasn't quite so aware of his surroundings...
Author's Response: Suggestion numero uno does sound like something worth incorporating, I will give it some thought.
Suggestion numero dose (I dunno spanish, forgive me.)... I\'m almost positive I mentioned that they had not destroyed the hide out because it gave Snape an easy way to escape if need be (and he could, if absolutely necessary, take people with him). He and Dumbledore decided this. Also, consider this- if a team of aurors burst in and cleared the place out... don\'t you think Voldemort would be mighty suspicious about just how they found out where his little hideout was? I\'m almost positive I mentioned these things... I will have to go back and check soon.
| Title: Chapter 10: Knowing the Unknown Spy | 09 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
I suppose you shouldn't have really worried about your infrequent updating. I suppose if I had found out that you had a whole bunch of chapters posted elsewhere, I would just have gone and checked out fanfiction.net. So I bet that's what your readers did. I mean your story is so good, I'd search everywhere for more... you don't have more chapters hiding somewhere do you? (more than 36 that is).
Well about this chapter. I loved how you had Snape unwilling to leave Harry's side. A bit foolish, but hey, Madame Pomfry wasn't able to do much more anyway. I really liked how you had Snape take Harry's hand, like it was a lifeline and a "connection." And I like how you have Harry not trusting the healer, looking around for someone else... and then he went to sleep after Snape said it was okay. That was sweet.
Author's Response:
Well, actually, I have said that I post on ff.net- but I get people saying that they don\'t like that site, so they go on here instead. No... no more chapters hiding, lol. The most updated version is always on ff.net. I haven\'t even finished chapter 37 yet!
Well, I figure, Harry\'s just gone through a horrible experience, and Snape saved him. If his word in this moment isn\'t true, then I don\'t know whose is!
Severus was also feeling rather protective- first of all, he just spent so much time protecting harry, and he wanted to stay and make sure his work didn\'t go to waste. Two, (and I probably mentioned this, but I\'ll say it again) he\'s still shaken by the fact that he... ahem, \'could have had a son\'... that fact is definitely activating his paternal instincts, even if he has absolutely no idea.
| Title: Chapter 11: Connection | 09 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
I can see why this chapter would be difficult to write. You're changing Snape and Harry's character at this point, having each of them reconsider their opinion of the other. (unconciously it seems, it's not like they notice they are on a bit better terms). You balanced it out nicely too, still having Snape's snappy insults and whatnot, as well as Harry's little digs.
Anyway, I should go work on my story... I dunno if you like all these reviews... constructive? Inspiring? (i doubt that)...um, tolerable? Eleven in one day might be a bit much.... lol I love reviews... do you feel the same way?
Author's Response:
Yes, it was difficult. Don\'t you hate those difficult things? Well... actually, they\'re great. A real challenge is wonderful. But still. Yeah, I like to think that I balance out the fluff with a decent bit of angst... ahem, lol, see chapter 36, eh? haha... yeah. Snape will always be Snape. Harry will always be Harry. These two facts definitely don\'t add up to constant happiness.
I do like all these reviews! I do very much! Is there a person out there who doesn\'t like reviews? No, I definitely appreciate this- and I like that this is jogging my memory a bit. Sometimes it\'s hard to remember those past chapters... like, I know I wrote them, and I can remember facts.... but I don\'t remember the little details, or those little things that I loved writing. This is nice.
| Title: Chapter 12: Dreams of Old | 10 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
Okay, so I couldn't say away...
For your questions... if you're still wondering. Your characterization has been great and your plot very original. I mean the Snape's really Harry's dad isn't original persay lol, but how you've gone about it is really interesting. You've really given Snape and Lily's past relationship a lot of depth, it seems real. And how Harry discovers their relationship is cool too.
About the torture... I agree with you. The detail isn't really all that important, unless it gives the story significance. And once you've read about the torture, the images stick in your head... and I don't really need to many torture images-too sad.
My thoughts on this chapter. Perhaps you should mention that Snape hated Harry because he thought Harry was the result of Lily affair with Jamesr. And he was a physical reminder of Lily's unfaithfullness and the reason for their relationship to end. I suppose you do, in one sentece- you mentioned Snape hated that Harry was a constant reminder of Lily chosing James, but that was after a couple of paragraphs describing reason's he hated Harry. And it skips on to hating the fact lily died for them... In my opinion, I think Snape's hatred would focus mostly on the fact Harry was the result of the affair and stem to the other things... do i make sense at all? Oh and I think one of the reasons Snape might start to reconsider his hatred towards Harry is because he found out the boy isn't the same baby... and that there was never an affair... Oh that leads me to what dumbledore told Snape... that Snape killed his own baby, that's so sad! AAHHH I can't wait to get to the part where Snape finds out the truth...
Author's Response:
I believe that fact (the one about how Snape hates Harry because of that) makes itself clear over the course of the story. As much as I would love to just come out and say all these things, sometimes I find that I have to stop myself and let the reader read into their actions a bit more. The reader should have to draw some of his or her own conclusion, and watch as the story\'s details either confirm or deny said conclusion. It\'s part of what makes a great story. I hint at it with that sentence, yes, but all these things are made clear over time I think.
I actually have a ton of deleted segements of thought and scenes and whatnot on my other computer- probably about 20-30. I\'ve cut a lot of those because I don\'t like to just hand the reader a ton of information. It makes it basically common... I like to make sure that when people find things out, it\'s a bit of reward... wouldn\'t want people to get too expectant!
| Title: Chapter 13: A Final Solution | 10 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
I love the potion that you came up with. It's really kind of funny how it needs to have the blood of his father... that must be a death eatter. So wonderful that they have both. I find that makes me smile! Oh and Snape's comments earlier in the chapter... His sarcasm- that was great too!
About your question, to bring Lily back. That depends on how you do it. Like you said, the "never died" and "back from the dead" seems like and obvious no. But I bet your "in a sense" could really come out nicely. Perhaps your Lily's room, with the light magic could be of use (maybe you're heading in that direction already). Like they can restore the room and maybe some of her essance is saved, a bit of her spirit... and they can talk to her there, like as a ghost, but not a ghost...hhhmmm a memory. Something that couldn't leave the room...
Author's Response:
Well Snape was fitting the details to the situation- I\'m working on the actual "textbook" information. You\'ll see later in the story (probably during their summer, where we will delve more into defeating Voldemort, and the potion and whatnot) what the exact details of the potion were. The text doesn\'t actually say "Death Eater". I think you can get a better idea of how it works when Hermione discusses it with Snape in a later chapter... I want to say it\'s the chapter called "In the Blood" but I could be wrong.
On the Lily issue... I\'ve decided from here on out, mum\'s the word, from me ;)
This could mean I\'ve gone with either decision, or that I\'ve got two endings that I\'m deciding between. Don\'t get excited, lol.
| Title: Chapter 14: Chain of Memories | 10 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
- I think Snape's reaction was quite good. His level of rage was perfect, he seemed really really mad. If people don't think he was mad enough, they should also remember Snape had just been tortured after all....Plus I doubt that Snape has forgotten his guilt over what he did to Lily. I like that Snape didn't completely cut of Dumbledore (although he's implied that he would if Dumbledore tells Harry...). Oh and I noticed that you explained about Lily's memories being copies and stored in the pensive.
Author's Response:
Oh thank you :)
I liked Snape\'s reaction too. Obviously, or else I wouldn\'t have posted it... but yes, I\'m glad you agree. He\'s not angry enough to completely cut off Dumbledore... but he\'s angry enough to threaten it, and he is angry enough to get worked up into a rage.
| Title: Chapter 15: Ultimatum | 10 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
- I find myself agreeing with Snape. Really should they be arguing with Harry sitting in the office? I like this stuborn Snape, I think his reaction is perfect. After being lied to for over 16 years (it's that long right...) I'd be mad too. But the worst lie of all was when Dumbledore told Snape he'd killed his own child. And it served no purpose other than to prolong the inevitable. So hurray for Snape's reaction! (although he should be nice to harry, it wasn't his falt and the boy needs a dad...(I don't mean you should change the story of course.)) If I remember correctly, I liked Harry's response to the situation too, I should go read more...
Author's Response: No, they shouldn\'t be arguing right in front of Harry- I\'ll admit, being a teen, I find myself so uncomfortable when people argue over me in the same room... even my peers... it\'s just a bad situation, and as adults, they should know not to put him into it.
| Title: Chapter 16: Subtle Threats | 10 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
Wow that was a powerful last line. Never admitting that he wanted his life back... Poor Snape, he's always had such a sad life. (that's why he needs Harry...)
I was right, Harry's reaction to being told to leave was really good. Since your latest update, I'd forgotten a lot of these earlier details, I'm really glad I'm reading this again.
Snape and Dumbledore's arguements are really good. I can't place blame or anger against either of them. Both are angry at the other, and both regrett being angry. I like your mentions of their father/son relationship.
Author's Response:
I agree. If he and Harry can ever learn to truly get along, then it would be a really good thing for him.
I remember writing these reactions being one of the greatest part of writing the story. I had read these stories for awhile, and I just never found a reaction that really seemed right... so I ended up just writing my own, you know? Actually, I couldn\'t find any stories that really seemed right... aside from maybe 3.
| Title: Chapter 17: The Tendencies of a Father | 10 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
I figured something out. I just love your conversations. They're wonderful. Snape's little sarcastic speech about Harry needing to learn Occlumancy and then Harry matching the sarcasm. Oh and I liked how Harry refused Dumbledore. His line after Dumbledore's inner eye comment: "I don’t think that’s quite what you’re sensing.”-- that was cool. So now I'm really jealous of you, because your conversations are awesome.
Oh and I loved how you had Snape slip into the fatherly roll. He finds out Harry's getting away with something he shouldn't and now he suddenly feels obligated to make things right. Lol. Well I suppose that would do it for Snape.
Author's Response:
Haha... you just figured this out... *snicker*
Yeah, I think Dumbledore needed to be refused. I think Harry went about it all the wrong way, but I think it\'s great that he stood up for himself, you know? He needs to start taking control of his own life.
| Title: Chapter 18: A Time for Tea | 10 Sep 2006 |
| Reviewer: Arualcopia (Signed) |
Yes it really would seem that fate was wanting Harry to know his true identity. In fact, although people have been unwilling to tell the truth (Dumbledore first to Snape and now Snape to Harry), there is always a good compelling reason. Your story is great...
What else to say... I thought it was interesting that you used Firenze in your story. I dunno if I've read a fanfic with him in it. I also liked that you took into consideration where he'd be able to go in the castle. His horse body wouldn't be climbing up into Trelawney's tower, nor would he fit up the stairs to Dumbledores office, would he?
Author's Response:
Well, the sad truth of the matter is that a lot of times, people just don\'t tell the truth unless pushed. I find the fact that the truth comes out in the end to be one of those funny little ironies of our world.
Firenze seemed like the perfect character to explain this. Normally, Dumbledore would seem a good character to use... but in this situation, it seems unlikely that Harry would go to him. Who else was I going to use, Trelawney?