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Reviews For Playing Pretend
I was thinking that maybe Harry would have gone to fix the garden. I really thought that he would. But he did feel bad, and can't understand his own feelings towards Snape. Hmm...that's interesting that they ended up in Snape's home, because the room of requirement gave them something they both needed. They both needed a stable home, when they're cared for, I'm guessing. Great work. I just can't wait for more. Loving this story. Author's Response: Pandora, Yeah, Snape :(. Heh, interesting insight...read the next chapter. Yeah, Harry is very conflicted right now, he doesn't know what he's feeling or how he is supposed to act towards this once-mean-but-now-nice Snape. Ha! Exactly! Yes, although it's not a stable home in which the room was aiming for, there's a deeper meaning. Although being cared for plays a part. Nice. Thank! Glad to hear it and thanks for the review. I will be updating very soon. -Mel :)
I can't wait to see what happens next. Oh right!! I can find out right now, because you've posted "2" chappies. I love how you keep Draco and Harry in character. Draco is such a snob, but I have a feeling that he's going to be put in his place rather quickly with "this" Snape! I love it! I love the bickering between Harry and Draco too. It's too cute. Author's Response: Pandora, Yeah? Nice, glad to see that. Haha, yeah always a bonus. Thanks, I always try hard to keep everyone in character :P. Yes, Draco will not be indulging in "snobery" for long in this world. Heh, yeah it is although all the bickering is getting in the way of everything and they're not even noticing it. Thanks for the review! Updating very soon. -Mel :)
Author's Response: Writeurlife, Yeah. They're not sure if they can trust him or entirely about what's going on. That and they don't think he'll believe them, although there are ways to, in which they're not thinking about. It's mostly the fear of it getting worst if they tell him. Thanks for the review, updating very soon. -Mel :)
Author's Response: lionessmon, Thanks. Glad to hear it. Will be updating very soon. -Mel :)
The writing is good, the characters are in canon, you got a good balance of seriousness and comedy, and I like the slight wrench of Dobby being thrown in. Makes for some helpful things and some interesting situations. I wouldn't have expected him to come in, from your teaser. As well-written as this story is, there is one major grammar issue that I find. You keep changing tenses, switching between present and past, sometimes even in the middle of a sentence. You should pick one and stick with it. You may not even be aware that you are doing this - do you have a beta? If not I'd highly suggest it; if you don't want one for some reason, than try reading it out loud before you post it. Sometimes our brains go faster than out hands, and we stick in and correct words when reading them in our heads. Hearing them orally uses a different part of the brain and you'll catch more mistakes. Btw, if you need a beta, I'm actually looking to beta some stories - so I'm free if you'd like to take the offer. Might as well stick in a plug for myself. ;) Please keep updating! Silly you, typing Chap. 5 before Chap 4. Whadya do that for? Now remember, dearie, FOUR comes after three. All together now: One, two, three, four, five! Very good! lol :) I'm sure they'll be coming quickly, since you already have everything planned out and seem to be typing quickly. I can't wait for more! Author's Response: ForgottenEllipses, Thanks! Your review was very delightful and long! :D. Haha, always glad when someone is hooked, call it guilty pleasure. Glad to hear you'll be here for the long haul. Yes, although Dobby does have a purpose, kinda ;). You're correct though, I don't notice it. I know why though, because I write all my fanfics in past tense and then my novel is in present tense. My mind is befuddled! I never use a beta, only once but she was my good friend. Because betas tend to be more controlling and change things. I want someone to merely fix the tense and spelling errors but they change words and do things I don't want them to do and than I have to go through it and change it back, really, really irritating. Never considered the reading aloud technique, but I suppose it does make sense. Although I do go over it so I'm shocked I still miss them, darn book! I had to teach myself presence-tense so now my past-tense habits are being tossed around. Actually, if we can reach some sort of fair agreement and such, perhaps I shall require a beta. But it also depends on how much time you have because I update really fast and waiting for a beta would be plain annoying. That and I have more than one story here. I won't say I will, but I'll certainly consider it. Oh and I didn't mean I typed 5 instead of 4. I mean I thought we were up to 4 on here and than typed 5 only to realize it's not the one I needed :P. I can count! Everyone knows 6 comes after 4, silly. Kidding! Thanks again for everything and your review was inspiring! -Mel :)
Author's Response: Missny1, That was the intention. Thanks. And yeah, will be updating very soon. -Mel :) Author's Response: Missny1, That was the intention. Thanks. And yeah, will be updating very soon. -Mel :)
Author's Response: Fmh, Thanks. What exactly do you mean by "the boys are going to react as their characters to events" I do not entirely comprehend it. Thanks for the review though. -Mel :)
BUT Snape would figure out something was up by the time lunch was over... IMHO Author's Response: Fictionfan, Thanks. And yes, perhaps but you need to remember that this Snape is entirely an illusion..therefore he's not even real, not the actual Snape. All will make more sense in the end :P. -Mel :)
Author's Response: Dramagirl007, Thanks. And yes, I realize now I should probably explain that. It is because Harry got on the team a year before Draco and despite the fact that Draco received a more updated broom by selection, Harry was content with his. That and Snape probably wouldn't throw out a perfectly capable broom anyhow. So basically Draco wanted a recent one and Harry didn't care because he liked the one he had and was convinced he was still faster. He was also proving a point; it's the flyer not to broom that wins. :P. Does that explain things? Thanks and I will. Should update soon enough. -Mel :)
Author's Response: KKJ, Glad to hear it. Yes that's the plan, showing bits and pieces of what could be through the illusional place. Oh yes, there is plenty more to come! Thanks for the review, will be updating soon enough. -Mel :) |
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